Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Die Spammers

I know that in some circles, we are considered neophytes for using Blogger. However, I must reiterate that this is a silly little hobby and I wouldn't get much credence as the cheapest SOB in the world if I spent good money on a silly little hobby.

Nevertheless, I think Blogger provides good service except for the comment spam that we occasionally get. Therefore, I just went into the settings and removed this blog from Blogger's listings. Hopefully that will cut down on the spam we have seen recently. Of course I failed to run this decision by Sisyphus, so he might reinstate us. After his Hughlanche of last week I am officially now his caddie.

While on that page, I noticed a big button titled "Delete This Blog." Wow! That seems pretty drastic. I obviously didn't push it. However, in the event someone accidentally does, I hope there is some sort of confirmation required before the zapping begins.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Top 11 Reasons Cheri Pierson Yecke Is Leaving Minnesota For Florida

Cheri is leaving us to go work for Jeb Bush in Florida. Here is our top 11 list of reasons why:

11. Wanted to live in a red state
10. Global warming not happening fast enough in Minnesota
9. Mistakenly believed President Bush was offering her a job
8. Heard a lot of good stuff about hurricanes
7. Cuban kids English pronunciation less annoying than native Minnesotans
6. Believes a solid educational system begins with quality collegiate football programs
5. Feared losing congressional race to a homophobe
4. Believed Nick Coleman's threat, "You'll never work in this town again!"
3. Went to finish off "Suge" Knight
2. She's a heavy smoker and wanted to escape Pawlenty's new "health impact fee"
1. She knows the teachers unions will never allow serious educational reform in Minnesota

Monday, August 29, 2005

Hello, I'm the Nihilist In Golf Pants

One of the most common questions we get here at NIGP is why does the site use Blogger's default black template. So JB and I set out to explain why with a parody of the Johnny Cash Classic, "Man In Black." Enjoy:

Well you wonder why this site is set in black
Well for one, it's run by a bunch of hacks
Yet the posts always seem to have a cheerful tone
Well there's a reason, just listen while I crow

It's in black so the poor are beaten down
Instead of livin' on my dime out on the town
It's that way for the prisoners who have not paid for their crime
But claim they are a victim of the times

It's in black for the able bodied who have never worked
But expect a handout and all the perks
And then come to rely on government charity
Laughing as they steal money from you and me

Well we're doin' mighty fine I do suppose
But the media says that the economy blows
Because reporting news became a partisan attack,
Out front our "truth to power" web site is black

It's black for the golfers who are rich and old
Whose servants bring hors d'oeuvres a bit too cold
It's set in black to mourn for the fetus lives that could have been
Each day we 'bort a hundred might-have-beens

And it's black for those whose taxes raised
Forgo another cabin, yacht or maid
It's set in black for the Star Trib readers who have cried
That leftist hacks are always telling lies

Well there's things that are actually right I know
Like Nick Coleman losing his awful radio show
But till we can move this state a little further right
You'll never see this site in background white

We could set the background rainbow colors too
But I'd rather not be accosted in the loo
So please take it for what it's worth from one partisan hack
Till things are brighter, we're the site in black

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Top 11 Reasons The Nihilist WAS Invited To My Bachelor Party

11. Hugh Hewitt and Lileks turned me down
10. He doesn't filch posts from
09. Someone had to bring the crank
08. His wife asked me reaaaally nicely
07. He makes those cute balloon animals
06. He has a car (I wasn't going to drive all that way!)
05. Our strict Affirmative Action policy
04. Coin flip. He won. Sorry Pink Monkeybird
03. He said that Pair O' Dice guy would kick my ass if I didn't
02. He doesn't talk about Able Danger
01. Sheer pity

Top 11 Suspects Responsible for Shooting of Marion "Suge" Knight

Death Row Records founder Marion "Suge" Knight was injured by a shooter at an MTV Video Music Awards after-party early Sunday morning in Miami. Knight was a controversial figure. Vanilla Ice claimed he threatened his life a decade ago. Relatives of Notorious B.I.G. (aka Big Baby Jesus) blamed Knight for his shooting death. Knight was close to Tupac Shakur, another rapper murdered about a decade ago. He also associated with Snoop Dogg, who had been accused of murder.

Here are the NIGP's top 11 suspects responsible for masterminding the shooting of "Suge" along with motives:

11. Muslim extremists (part of jihad against American culture)
10. The CIA (according to source Oliver Stone)
9. Jodie Foster (the shooter wanted to impress her)
8. Tupac Shakur (after faking his own death)
7. Luther Campbell (former singer of 2 Live Crew didn't want any West Coast rappers on his turf)
6. Method Man (in retaliation for possible involvement in untimely death of Ol' Dirty Bastard)
5. P. Diddy (in retaliation for death of Notorious BIG)
4. Vanilla Ice (in retaliation for a savage beating)
3. Snoop Dogg (could "Suge" have been skimming from him?)
2. Notorious B.I.G.'s relatives (in retaliation for his death)
1. Pat Robertson (hey, he called for the assassination of Hugo Chavez)

Saturday, August 27, 2005

I Hate The Minnesota State Fair

It’s once again the most annoying time of the year in the Twin Cities: State Fair time. That means I’ll have this conversation at least a dozen times:

So, when are you going to the Fair this year?

I’m not.

What do you mean? Have you been there already? Aren’t you going again? I go two or three times a year.

No, I’m not going at all. I hate the Fair.

No, seriously, when are you going?

I really seriously hate the Fair: over-crowded, bad traffic, no decent parking – it has no redeeming aspects to me.

How can you hate the Fair? What about the food?

I hate the food. It’s greasy, exorbitantly priced, and the fact that it is on a stick does nothing for me.

If you can’t afford the admission price, I know a place where you can climb over the fence.

It’s not the cost. In fact, there are too many smelly poor people at the Fair.

What about all the eye candy?

When you take into consideration all of people who are painful to look at, the ratio of good looking people is probably no better than at Michael Moore’s fat farm.

Okay, but don’t you want to see the prize winning livestock?

If you’ve seen one giant hog, you’ve seen them all.

The … the ... the … live radio shows. Don’t you want to see your favorite radio shows broadcast live?

Not really, I don’t have to go down to the Fair to listen to them, and why would I want to see them? Most radio people aren’t on the air for their good looks.

….. The NARN Broadcast …… don’t you want to see all of the hot, hot, Brian “Saint Paul” Ward groupies?

Okay, you do have a good point there, but the young hotties tend to be focused just on Brian.

But … but … but … the free stuff.

You mean the KS-95 refrigerator magnet and the Pioneer Press tote bag? I can afford to buy my own plastic bags.

Ggggggo … g go … back to Alabama … sicko.

I’ve had this conversation six times already, six more to go.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Top 11 Reasons James Lileks Wasn't Invited to JB Doubtless' Bachelor Party

The entire roster of bachelor party attendees provided this insight:

11. Unlikely he would have been able to find anyone to watch Gnat for the weekend
10. No one weighing less than Atomizer allowed
9. His cries of "Coasters, people, coasters!" quickly gets annoying
8. Sunday was "Three column day"
7. Lunchables not available in Northern Wisconsin
6. Only willing to wear a lampshade if it's a vintage 1912 Dahlia Panel 8 Model
5. Group wasn't in a mood to hear a lecture on the 1970's architecture and furnishing of our hotel
4. He insisted on packing homemade sandwiches as a snack for the entire group
3. The hotel already provided a maid
2. He preferred antiquing to strip clubs
1. Strippers think he's creepy

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Top 11 Reasons Hugh Hewitt Was Not Invited To My Bachelor Party

11. Michael Savage said he wouldn't show if Hugh was there

10. Afraid he'd no show and send Carol Platt Liebau and Tim Taylor in his place

09. He callously disregarded the invitation to Atomizer's wedding so he's off the "A-list" of invitees to anything bigger than a corn feed

08. His ratings came out on Friday and he was disconsolate

07. Strippers make him "Uncomfortable"

06. He was busy that night attending James Lileks' "How To Be A Modern Caring Man (and still get laid)" Symposium

05. JB refused to give him the title "Gymnasiarch of the Bachelor Party"

04. We already had five hate-filled white guys shooting their mouths off

03. Speaking fee? For Hugh Hewitt?

02. Karl Rove has stipulated that Hugh and Atomizer never travel together. If anything were to happen, the conservative movement would be crippled

01. No protestants allowed

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Top 11 Things Michael Moore Will Secretly Eat While At His Florida Fat Farm

11. Caviar stolen from the neighboring yacht Club
10. Raw gator
9. A rabbit smuggled in by Jimmy Carter
8. A tube of Kirstie Alley’s lipstick
7. Suntan lotion
6. A vegetarian cookbook
5. Grass
4. A cocktail napkin with Cindy Sheehan’s phone number scribbled on it
3. Vegetable oil siphoned out of Jane Fonda’s Peace Bus.
2. A volleyball
1. Ted Kennedy’s stash of martini olives

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Top 11 Things That Will Remain The Same At Nihilist In Golf Pants

In this post, Sisyphus lays out the changes you can expect at this site now that we have become part of the mainstream blogosphere. Let me be the first to assure you, most of the things that endear our old readers to us will remain in place, including:

11. Despite the fact that Sisyphus got the big time link, the name of this site will stay "Nihilist in Golf Pants." The Sisyphus in Golf Pants coup was an utter failure.
10. More Top 11 lists, "A Touch of Class," classic rock and country song parodies and other lame benchmark bits
9. Insightful Minnesota Vikings coverage
8. Sisyphus and/or I will continue to be on the winning trivia team at Keegan's Irish Pub most weeks
7. This blog will remain mostly satirical, although occasional attempts at serious punditry may spring up from time to time
6. Other than using "my good friend" to describe other mainstream bloggers, we will mostly ridicule rather than suck up
5. Unyielding hatred of Jimmy Carter and his anti-American actions
4. Inside jokes that only a select few get, especially the mocking of JB Doubtless' pathetic attempts to grow facial hair
3. Unrelenting ridicule of Nick Coleman and his crappy writing
2. Breaking coverage of the OC and the Real World
1. Sisyphus will continue to post funny items, while the Nihilist's posts will be mostly unfunny and venomous attacks

Monday, August 22, 2005

Top 11 Changes In Store For Nihilist In Golf Pants Now That We’re Playing With The Big Boys

Thanks to a link from our good friend, Hugh Hewitt, the traffic of this blog has gone through the roof. Over the last two days we’ve had more visits than Fraters Libertas and Shot in the Dark combined. I would like to say that success hasn’t changed us, but how could it not? We are now playing with the big boys of the Main Stream Blogosphere (MSB) and thus will have to make some changes befitting our new status. Here are the Top 11 planned changes:

11. So many pop-up ads you’ll think you’re at the Drudge Report.
10. When we deign to link a local blogger we will refer to them, not by blog name or moniker, but by their full name. For example:
Doug Williams exams a box of John Roberts documents and finds nothing much of interest.
9. When we link a fellow MSB blog we will refer to them as our “good friend”:
Our good friend Hugh Hewitt exams a box of John Roberts documents and finds nothing much of interest.
8. When we won’t be blogging for a day or two we’ll give you plenty of advance notice so that you can arrange for a grief counselor.
7. We will consider adding some graphics, but we’re not making any promises.
6. The hated and envied trivia team that dominates Keegan’s Thursday Night Trivia will no longer be known as Fraters Libertas, but as Nihilist in Golf Pants.
5. Watch for our news aggregator: Nihilist in Golf Pants News.
4. The price of Sisyphus thongs has just doubled, no tripled.
3. We will start blogging about Nanotechnology once we figure out what that is.
2. It goes without saying that we will now ignore The Kool-Aid Report.
1. Much more Gravitas.

Reporter’s Angels Update

Once again our readers have proven themselves the worst in the blogosphere. Yes, I’m talking about you.

It has been three weeks since I founded Reporter’s Angels in an effort to make life a little more comfortable for our intrepid reporters in Iraq. I am disappointed to announce that we have not received a single donation – not so much as a non-fat soy latte.

What is wrong with you people? I would expect this kind of ingratitude from the French, but our logs show we have no French readers. Show some compassion for those who are toiling to bring us all the bad news that’s fit to print without so much as a karaoke machine to croon away the off hours.

I would donate something myself, but my organizational skills are contribution enough. Now open up those checkbooks you selfish, greedy, ingrates.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Top 11 Debate Issues This Past Weekend

An elite group of friends of JB Doubtless met in northwest Wisconsin this week to Throw a bachelor party this weekend. Although I'm not at liberty to disclose the guest list, I will say that when such enormous intellects get together for a drink of fifty, there is a fast and furious debate on a wide range of subjects. Here are the top 11 issues that were debated in the lively weekend:

11. Isolationism v. Nation-building
10. Existence of a God
9. Bacon v. Ham for breakfast
8. Beer v. Scotch
7. Does Matt Lecroix deserve a roster spot on the Minnesota Twins?
6. Stripes v. Solids
5. Sirius v. XM Satellite Radio
4. Deep Fried Walleye v. Medium Rare Prime Rib
3. Fleetwood Mac: Good or Evil
2. Pre or Post Noon Wake-up Call
1. Did Jessica Simpson's butt go flat?

Saturday, August 20, 2005


TO: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
FROM: You Know Who
SUBJECT: Everything is going according to plan

My Dear Neocon Minions,
Please, please, please, let’s all settle down now. Oh, ye of little faith. Of course, Mother Sheehan is one of my operations – and it’s going exactly as I planned. I knew it was only a matter of time before the moonbats co-opted the widow or mother of a dead soldier, so with the help of a patriotic Bush supporter named Cindy Sheehan, I made a preemptive strike.

Expect her pronouncements to get loonier and loonier. Heh, heh heh. Those meddling Kos Kids don’t suspect a thing. Heh heh heh.

The Roberts appointment is going so well I’m almost embarrassed to bring it up. More as a joke than anything, we’ve released everything in the White House archives that so much as has Roberts’ name on it. Heh heh heh heh and heh. That ought to keep the Post, Times, and Hugh Hewitt busy looking for another smoking gun as damaging as the time he recommended that Reagan not meet with Michael Jackson (hey Hugh, try reading my memos). Heh heh. Keep looking, maybe you’ll find the document where he advises Nicole Brown not to marry O.J. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

I have a side bet with Cheney: 5000 shares of Halliburton says that I can get Durbin to denounce Roberts as a “Papist” during the confirmation hearings. Candy from a baby.

Our only potential problem is the Air America scandal – it is going too well. At this rate we will destroy Al Franken before he has the’08 Minnesota Senate nomination. Let’s tone this down a bit. I MUST HAVE A COLEMAN-FRANKEN SENATE MATCH UP. It will free up valuable resources for other races.

More of the same.


P.S. Halliburton is now up over 35% in the second term. Oh, yes, heh heh heh.

Friday, August 19, 2005

I'm Trying To Stay Out Of This

Thanks Sisyphus and Learned Foot! Since you two have been reporting on Obnoxious Packer Guy’s (OPG) vigil outside the driveway of Packer’s defensive coordinator Bob Slowik’s driveway, I have been receiving misdirected e-mail meant for them. OPG blames Slowik for the death of the Packers Super Bowl hopes last year at the hands of the Minnesota Vikings.

A letter typical of those supporting OPG comes from a guy calling himself Packer Obsessed Obnoxious Fan (POOF):

OPG is right. The loss to the Vikings in the Playoffs was the wrong game in the wrong week against the wrong team. If Slowik had shown real leadership, the Packers would have won one more game, thus earning a bye in the first round of the playoffs. In their opening game, they would have likely played the Atlanta Falcolns, who attacked and destroyed the Packer’s 2002/2003 season in an unprovoked sneak attack led by Michael Vick. Why were the Packers distracted by the Vikings? We know the Vikings have no weapons of massive scoring. It's been almost a decade since they were a real offensive threat. Because of Slowik, the Packers lost an unnecessary game.

Meanwhile, Packer Impassioned Guy (PIG) disagreew with OPGs tactics, writing:

OPG is spitting on the grave of his beloved Vince Lombardi in this protest. Lombardi joined the Packers of his free will. He dedicated his life to serving them. If OPG really loves Lombardi, he wouldn’t badmouth the team the Lombardi loved (at least before he left for Washington).

I am not sure which side I agree with. All that I know for sure is that Packerland is now a divided state, separated into groups of POOFs and PIGs.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Rabid Packer Fan (RPF): “Obnoxious Packer Guy Doesn’t Speak for Me”

Over at The Kool-Aid Report, OPG has responded to my post from yesterday that was critical of his protest outside the home of former Packer’s Defensive Coordinator Bob Slowik. Let me reiterate that I sympathize with OPG’s grief over last year’s Packers defense. I also believe that he has the right to stage any kind of peaceful protest he wants to. While I don’t agree with what he’s been saying in this protest, I’ll defend to the death his right to say it (okay, maybe not to the death).

OPG implied that as a Vikings fan I had no right to criticize him. However, I received an e-mail from a Rabid Packer Fan (RPF) that agrees with me:

Thank you for your wonderful post on OPG’s asinine protest. As a Packer fan that suffered through every minute of every Packer game last season, I know exactly how OPG feels. However, I would like to make one thing absolutely clear: Obnoxious Packer Guy doesn‘t speak for me or most other Packer fans. Mr. Slowik had a good system in place, but he was betrayed by Ted Thompson and Mike Sherman.

Now the Packers want us to believe that Jim Bates is the solution. You are correct: He was a complete disaster for the Dolphins. OPG wants us to believe that we should be impressed that Bates led the Dolphins to a 3-4 record after the 1-8 start. All he accomplished was costing Miami the first pick in the draft. No wonder they fired him.

Fortunately, the Packers still have Favre, so they should average 80 points a game. I think even a Bates-led defense should be able to hold teams under 50. I predict 16-0 regular season and another Super Bowl. Anything less and Thompson and Sherman should be canned.

I’m glad OPG has ended his Slowik protest. If he wants to protest something worthwhile he should sign my online petition urging the Packers to replace all of the seats in Lambeau with port-potty seats so that we will no longer have to pee in a cup to avoid missing any of the game. Now that (and liquor) is something all Packer fans can agree upon.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Obligatory OPG Post

As Kool-Aid Report readers know, an Obnoxious Packer Guy (OPG) has been camped out in front of the home of former Packer’s defensive coordinator Bob Slowik demanding a meeting. Until now, I have refrained from commenting on the issue because I am loath to criticize a Packer fan that has had to suffer the nearly unimaginable grief of losing a home playoff game to the Vikings (by a score of 31-17, no less).

But, I cannot let the biased reporting on the Kool-Aid Report go unchallenged. Here are some facts you won’t see reported on KAR:
* In fact, OPG met with Slowik last February, and is quoted as referring to Slowik as “A great defensive mind”.
* There even exists a picture of OPG kissing Slowik at that meeting.
* OPG has made no mention of Favre’s five interceptions in the playoff loss to the Vikings. These can hardly be blamed on Slowik.
* OPG has participated in a conference call and strategy session with new Packers Defensive Coordinator Jim Bates.
* OPG has ignored the fact that Bates laid an egg as Defensive Coordinator and Interim Head Coach of the pathetic Miami Dolphins (they tied Cleveland for the worst record in the AFC).
* Jane Fonda’s vegetable oil powered bus is scheduled to make an appearance and Slowik’s neighbors are already complaining about OPG's stench.
* OPG has blamed previous Packer losses on “a cabal of Jewish referees”.
* Nick Coleman has reportedly requested use of the StarTribune jet to cover OPG ’s vigil.
* Maureen Dowd: “the moral authority of Packer fans who have survived the last couple of seasons is absolute.”
* The Daily Kos has praised OPG for demonstrating a Packer fan's love of his team.
* OPG is known to regularly urinate in the sink of the Lambeau Field bathroom.

How long will KAR continue to ignore these facts?

This Ain't Your Father's Brittanica

As you may or may not realize, all of our posts at NIGP are the product of extensive research and fact-checking. While preparing a future piece on Britney Spears, I discovered something amazing. Wikipedia, the on-line encyclopedia has an entry under the category "White Trash."

Wikipedia's definition of what makes a person "white trash" is fascinating. The following are several of the characteristics Wikipedia considers common to "white trash" :

- Abnormally low hygiene standards.
- Lazy and will take advantage of anything and everything they can.
- Mentally challenged due to the lack of discipline or due to the presence of broken homes growing up.
- Self-centered and care mainly about themselves.
- Couch potatoes with poor physical health due to lack of exercise and poor diet.
- Engage in loud public arguments about petty matters.

It then uses The Jerry Springer Show to provide an example of "white trash" culture in America today.

I know everyone expects a Coleman/Billings joke at this point, but I am above that.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Mourning the Anniversary

Out of respect for the passing of Elvis Aron Presley on this date 28 years ago, I have set the background of this site to black. Interestingly, this Wikipedia link makes the common mistake of misspelling his middle name.

Science and Religion in the Middle Ages

I am currently reading “The Civilization of the Middle Ages” by Norman Cantor. It is an excellent history of Western Europe covering the years from about 300 to 1500.

Cantor has an interesting explanation for why the Muslim nations, after nearly 500 years of scientific superiority over the west, saw an abrupt end to their scientific development and why the west was somewhat immune to the same danger:

The speculative thinkers of the Islamic world were independent men who made their living as physicians, civil servants, lawyers, or professional teachers. Their peculiar social background meant, on the one hand, that these speculative thinkers could afford to be especially bold, since they were not inhibited by having to worry immediately about the compatibility of reason and revelation or about whether they would lose their jobs for preaching heresy. On the other hand, there was a grave threat to the long-range development of Islamic philosophy in this separation between the religious and intellectual leadership. If the fundamentalists and mystics felt that the traditional religion was actually in danger of subversion by the speculative thinkers and if they could obtain the cooperation of the state, they would simply silence the expression of rational thought. This is, in fact, what began to happen in the latter part of the eleventh century, and after 1200 scientific thought in the Islamic world was dead. This unfortunate development offers an illuminating contrast with the course of speculative thought in the Christian world. Because all the important philosophical work in high-medieval Europe was carried on in educational institutions that were subject to ecclesiastical authorities and because all the important western philosophers were at least in a nominal sense churchmen, the western thinkers were at first more conscious of the painful conflict between reason and revelation, and they moved more slowly than did the Arabic writers, but their work was, on the whole, protected from destruction at the hands of fanatics precisely because it was carried out under church auspices.

Top 11 Reasons For the Delay of Iraq's Constitution

11. Can't decide whether Bush's buddies get 85% or 90% of oil profits
10. Pestered by e-mail span from
9. Arguing over whether to legalize gay marriage
8. Hard to keep 400 representatives in one poorly ventilated room when they all had hummus for lunch
7. Distracted by satellite broadcasts of MTV's "The Real World: Austin"
6. The foreign journalist lobby keeps demanding subsidies for hair salons and karaoke bars
5. In stunned shock that Mark Yost insulted the most heroic people they have ever seen: American war correspondents
4. Delay in receiving top-secret instructions from Dick Cheney
3. Read the NY Times and decided anything they do is futile
2. Wrestling enthusiasts want expanded powers for the AWA's sheik Adnan Al-Kassie
1. Paralyzed by fear that Jimmy Carter may visit to oversee installation of new government

Monday, August 15, 2005

Breaking News

The rock is almost up the hill, and this time I’m sure it will stay!
Developing …

UPDATE: $*&#&*%#&%*^&!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Could This Be the True Reason for Nick Coleman’s Departure?

Long time readers of this blog know that I am a big supporter of my fellow member of the local Economic/Political/Media elite, Nick Coleman. While others (including, sadly, some on this blog) were gloating over Mr. Coleman’s firing from Air America Minnesota, I was offering up bittersweet reminisces of my favorite moments.

It is always a sad moment when a man with a couple of families to feed loses one of his jobs, but under the circumstances I can’t really blame Air America Minnesota for forcing Mr. Coleman out (if that is indeed what happened) in light of this case noted by Drudge: An arbitrator has ordered a San Francisco radio station to pay $270,000 to a man who was outed as gay on the air.

Given Nick Coleman’s propensity for calling Republicans gay on his radio show, Air America Minnesota was looking at a huge liability. Each $875,000 loan from the Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club would cover a mere 3.2 outings; Nick could go through that money in one segment.

While it’s sad to see Mr. Coleman lose his job, it’s hard to blame his former employer. At least he has the columnist gig to fall back on.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Ron Mexico's Not Ready For Some Football

This week marked the official kickoff of the 2005 NFL pre-season schedule. Fans are getting excited and armchair quarterbacks are talking up their team. Many fans are going to to order hero jerseys of their favorite players. Many are paying $100 or more for a replica bearing the number of their favorite player.

However, if you are an Atlanta Falcoln fan, the NFL has some new rules around the type of jersey you can get for a C-note. The most popular Falcoln jersey is the #7 worn by quarterback Michael Vick. Per the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the NFL has mandated that none of their official merchandisers may sell an Atlanta #7 jersey bearing the name "Mexico." This action begs the question, what does the NFL have against Mexico?

According to The Smoking Gun, Michael Vick has had some legal troubles. 26 year-old Sonya Elliott is suing Vick for an unspecified amount, based on the allegation that Vick gave her Herpes Simplex II.

Elliott's complaint also contends that Vick "apologized profusely" for not telling her he was infected with the STD. Elliot's lawsuit alleges that Vick has used the name "Ron Mexico" and, in a related court filing, her lawyers are seeking Vick's admission that he used the "Mexico" alias--and perhaps other fake names--"for the purpose of herpes testing and/or treatment."

Friday, August 12, 2005

Top 11 Howard Dean Messages Aimed at Revitalizing the Democratic Party

11. Bush is Hitler AND Mussolini
10. We don’t need no stinkin’ medication!
9. All of the big trend-setting stars are Democrats.
8. Isn’t it about time America apologized for something again?
7. Maybe if we treat the terrorists nicely, they will kill us last.
6. Buy two of our Congressmen and get the third free!
5. If you live in the south, you are stupid.
4. Coming in second in a close election is definitely a moral victory.
3. If you are religious, you are stupid
2. You are stupid
1. Its the stupidity stupid!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Graphics Ban Lifted!

In preparing for JB Doubtless' upcoming nuptials, I interviewed the photographer he had hired, in hopes of securing blogging photo rights to the event. The photographer didn't wish to be named publicly, so I will call him Paparazzo.

Anyway, Paparazzo told me that several years ago he photographed a certain Coleman-Billings wedding and passed me the above digital photo.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Top 11 Things That Nick Coleman Will Have Time For Now That He Doesn't Have A Radio Show

11. More time to look for a younger wife.

10. More time to chase guys around with his big stick.

9. More time for those late night runs to the White Castle at Lexington and University.

8. More time for Photoshopping images of President Bush.

7. More time to spawn (again).

6. More time to schedule that hip replacement surgery so he can finally pick up Finn.

5. More time to hang around the copy desk in hopes of catching a glimpse of Garrison Keillor handing in his "Old Scout" column.

4. More time to concentrate on winning that Pulitzer.

3. More time to compensate for the lack of love and approval that he received from his father by passionately embracing left wing political causes even more fervently.

2. More time for the volunteer fire patrol at Maxfield School.

1. More time to read blogs.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Top 11 Things I Will Miss about the Nick Coleman Radio Show

11. The nuance
10. The speculation on the size of the genitals of the Power Line guys.
9. The traffic report
8. The way Nick joked about all Republicans being gay.
7. The excitement and anticipation leading up to Nick’s announcement of the “Wing-nut of the Week”.
6. His exposure of the right-wing noise machine daisy chain.
5. Nick’s unique delivery of the words “monkey”, “wanker”, “wingnut”, and “blaaahgers”.
4. The bagpipe music.
3. The witty banter between Nick and the caller he had that one time.
2. The way the show pre-empted “Morning Sedition”.
1. I guess there are only ten things I’ll miss about the Nick Coleman Radio Show.


Last Tuesday I wrote a post expressing skepticism over Margaret’s claim at Our House blog that David had hung a trellis. Now Margaret has upped the ante by posting that David helped hang gutters on their garage. She has even provided the photo demanded by the skeptics.

I’ve been studying the photo for hours, and have concluded that it’s phonier than a Tim Pawlenty tax euphemism. The shadow on the garage looks all wrong, and the perspective is off. The figure of David is 111 pixels high while the garage door is only 118 pixels high, a mere 6% clearance. That would have to be one small door.

Time to brush up on those photoshop skills, Margaret.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Memo to the NCAA: Don’t Endorse Racism

King Banaian notes the NCAA’s latest diktat on Indian nicknames. The NCAA will be banning the use of “hostile or abusive” nicknames or mascots on team uniforms or other clothing at any NCAA tournament.

Okay fine, I’m against hostility and abusiveness, but why limit the ban to uniforms and clothing? Why is a mascot offensive on a shirt, but just fine on a building? To the NCAA, there should be no more offensive place on earth than Ralph Englestad Arena, home of the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux and the planned location for the 2006 NCAA Men’s Hockey West Regional.

Not only is the arena plastered with several thousand Fighting Sioux logos (“Fighting Sioux” is, of course, on the condemned list) but the building is named after a man who was fined $1.5 million by the Nevada Gaming Control Board for bringing embarrassment to the industry (that’s right, he managed to bring embarrassment to the gambling industry). Here is how he did it, according to the Las Vegas Sun:
“Engelstad had held parties in the resort's secret multimillion-dollar Nazi memorabilia room allegedly to observe Adolf Hitler's birthdays in 1986 and 1988. Engelstad later denounced Hitler, apologized for his error in judgement and emptied the room of nazi memorabilia.”

At least Engelstad eventually denounced Hitler. Will the NCAA do likewise with its decision to hold the 2006 West Regional at his fortress of racism? Fortunately, it will be easy for them to do so. They can simply shift the regional to the location of the successful 2005 West Regional, Mariucci Arena. Mariucci Arena is named after a man who would have never dreamed of throwing a Hitler birthday party, and is home to one of the least hostile and abusive nicknames in sports: the Golden Gophers.

The NCAA can either move the West Regional to an arena adorned with a lovable rodent, or it can endorse racism and genocide. Choose wisely, NCAA, choose wisely.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Top 11 Beliefs of Moonbats Protesting The Dropping of the A-Bomb on Hiroshima

11. Naming the plane "Enola Gay" somehow discriminates against homosexuals
10. One can support the troops, but still wish to send 1 million of them to unnecessary deaths
9. History belongs to those who re-write it
8. If the bomb hadn't been dropped, GHW Bush may have been killed in combat and we would have been spared the unnecessary Iraq war that his son started
7. Big tobacco somehow behind the Manhattan project
6. Our friends the Soviets were ready to help us with an invasion of Japan
5. No women or minorities represented within the crew of the Enola Gay
4. Extensive damage to Hiroshima abortion clinics
3. Escalated hostilities against Japan would inflame the "Japanese Street" and create more Japanese terrorists
2. Oppenheimer ran a non-union shop
1. America is evil and should never defend itself

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Top 11 Upcoming Nick Coleman Columns (with links to their inspiration)

Top 11 Slogans on the New Line of Sisyphus Thongs

I’ve long envied the Kool-Aid Report for marketing their own thong. Well, I’ve now one-upped them by creating my own line of Sisyphus thongs. Here are the top 11 slogans that appear on the various Sisyphus thongs:

11. Sisyphus was here
10. I wish Sisyphus were here
9. If the thong’s a rockin’ don’t come a knockin’
8. I’m with stupid
7. If you can read this you are too close
6. WWSD? *What Would Sisyphus Do?
5. My other thong is a KAR thong
4. I can’t believe the stupid American people have allowed the smirking chimp McHitler Wal-Bush steal two elections so that he can enrich Karl Rove, Dick Cheney and the fat cats at Halliburton who tricked America into believing that Saddam Hussein was an evil terrorist who had WMDs so they could steal the oil from Afghanistanto enrich their friends at Halliburton who are evil, like Dick Cheney, who will kill me if he were to run for President because Karl Rove would then steal the election for him so that he can leak the names of more covert CIA agents to the press to kill patriotic civil servants whose only crime is revealing the lies of the stupid chimp
and his draft dodging chicken hawk blood for oil traders (available only in size Helen Thomas)
3. Property of the Sisyphus
2. Smokin’ hot for a better Minnesota
1. Honk if you heart Sisyphus

CLARIFICATION: Based on a comment by Doug, and this post by EckerNet, I guess I should clarify: These thongs are intended for female (including Helen Thomas) use only.

Friday, August 05, 2005

The Kool Aid Report Can Teach Us A Lot About How Carve up A Moonbat's Argument

Since The Kool-Aid Report just published a Top 11 List, maybe we should steal one of their bits:

Moron Mail

Since KAR uses this feature on the Star & Sickle and their AAA league counterpart in St. Paul, we'll have to make due with USA Today from 8/4/05, featuring this doozie from militant pro-abortionist Nancy Northrup, who thinks any limit on abortion are unreasonable.

Laura Vanderkam writes that the Center for Reproductive Rights has overestimated the impact of a Roe reversal. What she fails to recognize is that state legislatures across this country are already passing laws that would virtually ban abortion procedures including those in the first trimester.
Why would such actions stop in the advent of a Roe reversal?

Last year, Michigan passed a law that could essentially ban all abortions in that state, and having a Democratic governor didn't make any difference. Anti-choice lawmakers managed to override the governor's veto of the legislation. Sixty percent of Rhode Island voters may have voted for John Kerry for president, but the state's constitution explicitly says that it doesn't protect abortion rights. Moreover, the House and Senate are anti-choice, as is the governor.

That's right moonbat! You see our government has checks and balances. Just because you want the courts to be dictators doesn't make it so. Abortion is a controversial issue and different states will naturally treat the subject differently you fascist wacko!

Next comes either the stupidest statement or the biggest lie I've seen in a long time:

This year alone, 27 anti-choice laws have been enacted. Laws like these are currently being challenged in court. Without Roe protecting a woman's right to decide if, when and how often she becomes pregnant, such cases would likely be lost and those laws would likely be in effect.

Sorry, lying scum. Roe v. Wade has nothing to do with a woman's right to decide if, when and how often she becomes pregnant. Abortion ends a pregnancy, by killing and removing the baby. It does not prevent it. Nancy Northrup tells lies like this because she does not want you to believe that fact. If Nancy Northrup said, I believe an adult woman should be able to choose not to put up with the inconveniences of pregnancy, and should have the right to kill her unborn child, I would give her credit for being honest. Instead she tells us something we all know is false.

Ms. Vanderkam not only drastically underestimates the determination of anti-choice legislators, she also disregards the host of legal battles currently keeping anti-abortion laws at bay and preventing a return to back-alley abortions.
Nancy Northup, president, Center for Reproductive Rights, New York

Ah, the wonders of the back-alley abortion argument. Legal fact: if Roe were overturned, different states may limit abortion differently. This is the way the founders intended any controversial issue that was not included in the constitution. Fascist twinks like Ms. (I'm sure I'm right) Northrup want to take the power from the states and consolidate it with the Supreme court . . . as long as the court agrees with them. If a new Supreme Court were to declare all abortions illegal, she would no longer support the power being there.

Wow,channeling Learned Foot gets one worked up. I'm off for a Summit.

From Dead Man's Curve to Motocross Kid

I made it through the business meeting and safely to the airport in the Jag. I must confess, that once I got the speedometer up to 120, all I could think about was that line from the seminal surf band Jan & Dean's "Dead Man's Curve."

The flight back from Tampa was uneventful, with the strange exception that a family of four sat in the row ahead of me in the first class section. One of the kids had a DVD player and I was treated to a view (due to the difference in reclcline angles between his father and him) of a movie called “Motocross Kids.”

“Motocross Kids” starred a bunch of kids, Lorenzo Lamas, and a chimpanzee. Guess which one was the least convincing actor? However, there was also plenty of room in it for other Hollywood has-beens, including wife-beating Promise Keeper Gary Busey, Phyllis Diller and Dan Haggarty, who still has a beard, meaning he looks nothing like J. B. Doubtless. Of that triumvirate of acting talent, amazingly Phyllis Diller had aged most gracefully.

The movie seemed to keep the attention of the 9 year-old in front of me, and after a few Bombay martini’s I wasn't in the mood to complain either. I arrived home early in the evening and decided to skip trivia at Keegan’s in exchange for quality time with the family.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Citizen Gyllenhaal (or not)

One of the many classic scenes in Citizen Kane is when Kane’s old friend and the drama critic for his newspaper, Jedediah Leland, has to write a review of Kane’s wife’s god-awful singing debut. Leland writes half of a vicious pan before passing out drunk on his typewriter. Kane finds the review, finishes it in the same tone, publishes it, and then fires Leland.

This got me to wondering how the Star Tribune movie critics handled reviewing actors Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, the nephew and niece of their boss, Editor Anders Gyllenhaal. True, the critics (Jeff Strickler and Colin Covert) had one big advantage over Jebediah Leland – their boss’s relatives actually have some talent. Nevertheless, I thought it would be interesting to go through the Strib’s movie review archives to see if I could find any blatant examples of sucking up, hopefully accompanied with a vicious pan that pre-dated Gyllenhaal’s editorship.

Unfortunately, no such luck. Jake Gyllenhall received only positive reviews before Anders Gyllenhaal was named editor (Maggie wasn’t reviewed). The only negative review for a Gyllenhaal appeared shortly after Uncle Anders became editor. Jeff Strickler wrote in his August 16, 2002 review of “The Good Girl”: “The last act gets a little too sudsy at times. Gyllenhaal ("Donnie Darko") starts overacting, while spouting lines that are more silly than profound …”

Since there was no evidence of any sucking up (in fact, the opposite) I decided to abandon the idea.

Well then, if the post was abandoned, then why are you reading about it? The reason is that I recalled this quote from my favorite physicist, Richard Feynman:

“If you’ve made up your mind to test a theory, or you want to explain some idea, you should always decide to publish it whichever way it comes out. If we only publish results of a certain kind, we can make the argument look good. We must publish both kinds of results.”

This does not need apply only to science. Feynman tended to have a somewhat low opinion of lawyers, politicians, and others in the persuasion business precisely because they tended to ignore this maxim. Most consider it the responsibility of the other side to find their own evidence and make their own arguments. But if are goal is to move us closer to the truth, we have the responsibility to bring to light all information we know of, whether it helps or hurts our theory.

So, for what it’s worth, Anders Gyllenhaal isn’t firing employees who give poor reviews to his relatives.

Down The Highway

This piece by P.J. O'Rourke is undoubtedly the most hysterically funny thing I have ever read (warning - it's fairly dirty). I was thinking about it earlier this evening. I had just taken the long flight down to Tampa. I took the opportunity to have a few Bombay martinis on the long flight. I landed around 7:30 and I planned to pick up the rental car and head straight to the hotel.

As often happens, there was a problem with my car reservation. The agency was sold out of nearly everything. Finally the clerk said, "We have one car left, a 2005 Jaguar XK8 convertible." He flipped me the keys and within five minutes, I was heading for the highway with the top down, about to learn that everything Laura Ingraham says about Jaguars was true.

Instead of heading downtown to the hotel I went the opposite direction across the four-lane bridge toward St. Petersburg. The wind was in my hair, the sun was in my face. I crossed the seven mile bridge and turned around. Of course, unlike P.J. I didn't have a teenage lovely with me (I'm happily married), but I felt free as I headed back to Tampa.

I was cruising in the left lane of the four-lane bridge doing about 90 mph. The Allman Brothers were playing "Ramblin' Man" on the radio. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something moving fast to my right. It was a Corvette. It passed me like I was standing still. I put my foot to the floor and the Jag leaped forward the way my Oldsmobile would accelerate while stepping on the gas at about 30 mph. In seconds, I was at 120 mph and right behind the Vette. Now things got tricky as the bridge ahead was a bit more crowded with cars. The Vette and I wound our way between other drivers, who were moving at 70-80 MPH for the most part.

After about a minute I pulled alongside the Vette. The driver gave me a big smile and accelerated past me. I could have matched him, but suddenly I came to my senses and let off the gas. As P.J. suggested, I'm way too old to be acting like a complete fool.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Top 11 List Archive

NIGEL TUFNEL: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
MARTY DIBERGI: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
MARTY DIBERGI: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
NIGEL TUFNEL: Well, it's one louder, isn't it?

Top 11 Things Likely To Be Overheard At the Meeting Between Jimmy Carter and Former Iranian President Mohammed Khatami (Sisyphus, 8/31/06)
Top 11 Highlights of the Democratic Katrina-Response Plan (Sisyphus, 8/29/06)
Top 11 Reasons Fraters Libertas Won the Hugh Hewitt Trivia Challenge (Sisyphus, 8/26/06)
Top 11 Reasons Tom Cruise Was Fired (JB, 8/24/06)
Top 11 Things That I Would Rather Do Than Listen To A Conversation About Fantasy Football
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 8/22/06)
Top 11 Sequels To “Snakes On A Plane” (Sisyphus, 8/21/06)
Top 11 Words (Real or Imaginary) That Are Considered Derogatory or Offensive When Uttered By Senator George Allen (Sisyphus, 8/19/06)
The Nihilists Top 11 Money Saving Tips For Laid Off Northwest Employees (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 8/17/06)
Top 11 Jimmy Carter Quotes (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/17/06)
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Top 11 Ideas To Make America Better
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 8/15/06)
Top 11 Things Overheard During Hugo Chavez’s Deathbed Visit With Fidel Castro (Sisyphus, 8/13/06)
Mike Wallace's Top 11 Hottest Dictators of All Time (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 8/10/06)
Top 11 Reasons That Andrew Sullivan Is Having A Spat With Hugh Hewitt (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 8/07/06)
Top 11 Reasons That Brett Favre Believes That The 2006 Packers Are "the most talented team that I’ve been a part of as a whole" (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 8/07/06)
Top 11 Errors & Omissions By Cynical Vikings Guy (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/06/06)
Top 11 Formative Moments In Cynical Vikings Guy’s Career As A Vikings Fan (CVG, 8/05/06)
Top 11 UN Backed Cease Fire Terms For Israel (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/03/06)
Top 11 Reasons The Patriot Insider Is Off The Air (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/01/06)

Top 11 Mel Gibson Excuses (Sisyphus, 7/30/06)
Top 11 Ways the Norm Coleman Sr. Affair is Different from the Clinton Affair (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 7/26/06)
Top 11 Ways That Hugh Hewitt Is Coping With The California Heat Wave (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 7/25/06)
Top 4 Indications That the Star Tribune Will Do Anything to Keep a Republican Governor
(Sisyphus, 7/25/06)
Top 11 Ways President John F. Kerry Would Have Averted the Lebanon Crisis (Sisyphus, 7/24/06)
Top 11 Appeasement Demands (Sisyphus, 7/22/06)
Top 11 Indications That Castro May Die Soon (Sisyphus, 7/18/06)
Top 11 Cheeses (Sisyphus, 7/17/06)
Top 11 Changes At Fraterslibertas (JB, 7/13/06)
Top 11 Changes At Guantanamo Bay As A result Of The Hamdan Decision (Sisyphus, 7/12/06)
Top 11 Questions/Issues That Make Me Dislike Superman (NIGP, 7/09/06)
The Top 11 Events That "The Hoff" Has Been Barred from Attending Because He Was Steaming Drunk (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 7/07/06)
Top 11 Reasons to Attend Keegan's Scotch and Cigar Night (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 7/06/06)
Top 11 Reasons Ken Lay Died (NIGP, 7/06/06)
Top 11 Explanations For North Korea’s Failed Missile Test (Sisyphus, 7/05/06)
Top 11 New Slogans For The New York Times (Sisyphus, 7/04/06)

Top 11 Subjects For The Nihilist When He Hosts The Patriot Insider This Saturday From 9am-11am (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 6/28/06)
Top 11 Aaron Spelling Productions (A Serious and Scholarly List) (Sisyphus, 6/26/06)
Top 11 Compare And Contrasts Of Joe Lieberman And John McCain (NIGP, 6/25/06)
Top 11 Reasons That Sisyphus Is Heartbroken (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 6/23/06)
Top 11 Annoying TV Child Stars/DFL US Congressional Hopefuls (NIGP, 6/22/06)
Top 11 New Nicknames For The University Of North Dakota Fighting Sioux (Sisyphus, 6/22/06)
Top 11 Explanations For That Video Of Connie Chung Attempting to Sing (Sisyphus, 6/19/06)
Top 11 Clichés That You'll Hear During Tonight's NBC Telecast of Game Seven of the Stanley Cup Finals (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 6/19/06)
Top 11 Highlights Of The House Democrats' Plan: “A New Direction For America” (Sisyphus, 6/19/06)
Top 11 Nihilist in Golf Pants Guest Blogger Candidates (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/18/06)
Top 11 Shocking Revelations From Tonight's "Exclusive" Matt Lauer Interview With Britney Spears (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 6/15/06)
Top 11 Harvard University Commencement or Class Day Speakers (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/14/06)
Top 11 Ways Karl Rove Celebrated His Non-Indictment (Sisyphus, 6/13/06)
Top 11 Sitcom Characters I Would Like To Be (When I Grow Up) (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 06/12/06)
Top 11 Seminars At The Yearly Kos Convention In Las Vegas (Sisyphus, 06/11/06)
Top 11 Things Overheard In The Audience Of The Prairie Home Companion Movie (Sisyphus, 6/10/06)
Top 11 Most Pretentiously Titled Books/Movies By or About Liberals (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 6/07/06)
Top 11 Things That Anti-War Protesters Would Have Said At the Normandy Invasion on D-Day (Had There Been Anti-War Protesters At Normandy) (Sisyphus, 6/06/06)
Top 11 Channels Where I Looked For The NHL Finals (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/05/06)
Top 11 Things You Won’t Hear When the Nihilist Co-hosts the Patriot Insider (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/01/06)
Al Gore’s Top 11 Duties As A Senior Advisor To Google (Sisyphus, 6/01/06)

Top 11 Tunes That Just Missed Inclusion In John J. Miller's Lists of Conservative Rock (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/31/06)
Top 11 Names Considered by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Before They Named Their Daughter “Shiloh” (Sisyphus, 5/29/06)
Top 11 Reasons Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Went to Namibia For The Birth Of Their Daughter, Shiloh Noeuvel Jolie-Pitt (Sisyphus, 5/29/06)

Top 11 Reasons Minneapolis is a Better Choice Than Cleveland For The 2008 Republican National Convention (Sisyphus, 5/23/06)
Top 11 Things That Jesse Macbeth Also Claims To Have Done
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/23/06)
Top 11 Statements As Contradictory As Calling Oprah A “Hip And Materialistic Mother Theresa” (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/23/06)
Top 11 Explanations For the $90,000 Found In Democratic Congressman William Jefferson’s Freezer (Sisyphus, 5/22/06)
Top 11 Descriptions of Oprah (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/21/06)
Top 11 Things Preventing Sisyphus From Blogging (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/16/06)
Top 11 People Who Find It Impossible To Practice Abstinence
(Nihilist in Golf Pants 5/15/06)
Top 11 Liberal Complaints About The Economy (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/11/06)
Top 11 Names For A New Gopher Football Stadium Acceptable To The DFL (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/10/06)
Top 11 Other "Fun" Things The Minnesota Senate Can Buy With Taxpayer's Money (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/10/06)
Top 11 Ways Rochester is Preparing for Patrick Kennedy’s Rehab Stint At the Mayo Clinic (Sisyphus, 5/07/06)
Top 11 Things That Zarqawi Did After Making His Latest Video (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/05/06)

Top 11 Headlines Even Less Surprising Than “Kennedy In Car Crash: Alcohol Believed To Be Involved” (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/05/06)
Top 11 Snippets Overheard from the Ludacris – Antonin Scalia Conversation (Sisyphus, 5/02/06)
Top 11 Things That Wendy Wilde Will Do If She Is Elected To Congress (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/01/06)

Top 11 Things That Will Be Not Different During The “Day Without Immigrants” (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/01/06)

Top 11 Things That Caused Snoop Dogg & Posse To Run Riot At Heathrow Airport (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/28/06)
Top 11 Things That The Nihilist In Golf Pants Did To Win The City Pages Best Right Wing Blog Award (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/27/06)
Top 11 Honors As Dubious As City Pages’ Best Right Wing Blog (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 4/26/06)
Top 11 Thoughts That Went Through The Minds Of Those Flag Burning Hippies When Rick Monday Snatched The Flag They Were Trying To Burn (Sisyphus, 4/25/06)
Top 11 Democratic Ideas for Lowering Gas Prices (Sisyphus, 4/21/06)
Top 11 Upcoming Star Tribune Cost Cutting Measures (Sisyphus, 4/19/06)
Top 11.5 Ways R.T. Rybak Plans to Work Harder to Reduce Crime in Minneapolis (Sisyphus, 4/18/06)
Top 11 Annoying Questions Asked by Potential Buyers of the Coleman/Billings Mansion (Sisyphus, 4/17/06)
Top 11 Parody Names For A Person (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 4/11/06)
Top 11 Suggested Gifts for Baby Doubtless (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 4/10/06)
Top 11 Reasons Why The Twins Can’t Hit Their Weight (Sisyphus, 4/10/06)
Top 11 Questions I’d Like To Ask Of The Bloggers I Read (Sisyphus, 4/06/06)
Top 11 Birthday Gifts That Sisyphus Gave To Mary Katherine Ham (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/05/06)
Top 11 Reasons Al-Zarqawi Was Fired as Head of Al-Qaeda Iraq (Sisyphus, 4/05/06)
Top 11 Reasons T. Rajeevnath Wants To Cast Paris Hilton As Mother Theresa (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 4/04/06)
Top 11 Reasons This Blog Is Better Off Without Sisyphus
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/03/06)
Top 11 Rock Tunes Featuring Drugged Up Stuttering Vocals (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 4/03/06)

Top 11 Reasons George W. Bush Held A Summit Meeting In Cancun (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 3/31/06)
Top 11 Reasons It Sucks to Be A Cornell Hockey Fan (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 3/27/06)
Top 11 Worst Losses In Gopher Hockey History (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 3/27/06)
Top 11 Other Hotel Demands Made By Dick Cheney (Sisyphus, 3/27/06)

Top 11 Revelations About Fidel Castro Provided By His Former Aide (Sisyphus, 3/24/06)
Top 11 Signs That Your Pre-Schooler Is Likely To Grow Up To Be A Berkeley Psychology Professor (Sisyphus, 3/23/06)
Top 11 Other Assurances MN Senate Majority Leader Dean Johnson has Received from the Minnesota Supreme Court
(Sisyphus, 3/21/06)
Top 11 Real Reasons Jessica Simpson Snubbed President Bush (Sisyphus, 3/17/06)
Top 11 Words That I Don’t Want To Hear Over The Next Few Weeks (unless you’re talking about college hockey) (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 3/16/06)
Top 11 Reasons Daunte Culpepper Wanted to be Traded to Miami (Sisyphus, 3/15/06)
Top 11 Favorites For 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 3/14/06)
Top 11 Good Things About Blizzards (Sisyphus, 3/13/06)
Top 11 Things Given Up For Lent (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 3/10/06)
Top 11 Signs That Scott Johnson Is The Most Manly Member of Powerline (JB, 3/09/06)
Top 11 Ways Iran Plans to Inflict “Harm and Pain” on the United States (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 3/08/06)
Top 11 Hardest Things About Being A Pimp (Sisyphus, 3/06/06)
Top 11 Lies Heard At The Academy Awards (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 3/06/06)
Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Top 11 Excuses for Falling Asleep During Oral Arguments (Sisyphus, 3/03/06)
Top 11 New Initiatives for the “Brokeback Mayors” (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 3/01/06)

Top 11 Ideas For The KAR Header (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 2/28/06)
Top 11 Reasons Why Daddy is a Republican
(Sisyphus, 2/23/06)
Top 11 Groups George W. Bush Wouldn’t Allow To Run US Ports (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 2/23/06)
Top 11 Real Reasons Lawrence Summers Resigned As President of Harvard (Sisyphus, 2/22/06)
Top 11 Reasons Why Mommy Is A Democrat (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 2/21/06)
Top 11 Annoying Things About Mass (JB, 2/20/06)
Nick Coleman’s Top 11 Rules For Step Mothers (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 2/20/06)
Top 11 Accidents It Would Be An Honor To Be The Victim Of (Sisyphus, 2/19/06)
Top 11 Questions That Hugh Hewitt Will Ask Joe Sakic If He Interviews Him (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 2/17/06)
Top 11 Reasons Why Cheney’s Hunting Accident Was Not Like Chappaquiddick (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 2/16/06)
Top 11 Things Harry Whittington Said After Being Shot By Dick Cheney (Sisyphus, 2/15/06)
Top 11 Things I’m Looking For In My Next Trophy Wife (Sisyphus, 2/14/06)
Top 11 Reasons for the 24 Hour Delay in Reporting Dick Cheney’s Hunting Accident (Sisyphus, 2/13/06)
Top 11 Reasons Dick Cheney Shot Harry Whittington (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 2/12/06)
Top 1 DFL Plans for Improving Minnesota’s Tax Burden Ranking (Sisyphus, 2/10/06)
Top 11 Problems James Lileks Has Had With Workmen At Jasperwood (JB, 2/10/06)
Top 11 Things Likely to be Overheard on the Upcoming Prairie Home Companion Alaska Cruise
Top 11 Pieces of Political Advice That Jimmy Carter Offered His Son (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 2/08/06)
Top 8 Events Democrats (Might) Consider too Solemn to Politicize (Sisyphus, 2/07/06)
(Sisyphus, 209//06)
Top 11 Things Hugh Hewitt and Jack Bauer Have in Common (Sisyphus, 2/07/06)
Top 11 Reasons Mike Holmgren Didn’t Shake Bill Cowher’s Hand After the Super Bowl (Sisyphus, 2/09/06) (Sisyphus, 2/06/06)
Top 11 Reasons That The Rolling Stones Agreed To Perform At Super Bowl XL (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 2/06/06)
Top 11 Discussion Topics Between Lileks and Medved (JB, 2/03/06)
Top 11 Mary Katherine Ham Insights (JB, 2/03/06)
Top 11 Most Obsequious Things I Will Say To Bill Gates Should We Ever Meet (Sisyphus, 2/03/06)
Top 11 Reasons I Didn’t Watch the State of the Union Address (Sisyphus, 2/02/06)

Top 11 Words I Don’t Ever Want To Hear In A State of the Union Speech Again (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 2/01/06)
Top 11 Things Cindy Sheehan Said When She Was Arrested (JB, 2/01/06)

Top 11 Quotes I Would Like to Hear in the Democratic Response to the State of the Union Address (Sisyphus, 1/31/06)
Top 11 Things I’d Rather Be Doing Than Reading About Wire Tapping Case Law (JB, 1/30/06)
Top 11 Quotes I’d Like to Hear in the State of the Union Address (Sisyphus, 1/30/06)
Top 11 Reasons John Kerry Wants to Filibuster Samuel Alito’s Nomination to the Supreme Court (Sisyphus, 1/27/06)
Top 11 Other Ways Oprah Was Duped (JB, 1/26/06)
Top 11 Reasons That Phil Kessel Chose Minnesota Over Wisconsin (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 1/26/06)
Top 11 Worst Bits in The History of Radio (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 1/25/06)
Top 11 Explanations for George Galloway’s New Wardrobe (Sisyphus, 1/24/06)
Top 11 Countries Disgruntled Liberals will Now Emptily Threaten to Move to Now that Canada has Elected a Conservative Government (Sisyphus, 1/23/06)
Top 11 Celebrity Breakup Predictions For 2006 (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 1/22/06)
Top 11 Ideas for Beefing up the Ratings of Geena Davis’ TV Show “Commander in Chief”
Top 11 Highlights of the New Osama Bin Laden Tape (Sisyphus, 1/19/06)
Top 11 Replacements for Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America (Sisyphus, 1/19/06)
Top 11 Chapters of “Hugh Hewitt’s Guide to Hockey, Modern Music and Wine” (Sisyphus, 1/18/06)
Top 11 Upcoming Selections for the Oprah Book Club (Sisyphus 1/18/06)
Top 11 Better Names than “Splash” For Ted Kennedy’s Dog (Sisyphus, 1/11/06) (Sisyphus, 1/20/06)

Top 11 New Items on the Vikings Themed Restaurant Menu (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 1/06/06)
Top 11 Real Reasons Garrison Keillor is Not Moving “A Prairie Home Companion” from St. Paul (Sisyphus, 1/03/06)

Top 11 Phony Reasons Given to the StarTribune for Canceling My Subscription (Sisyphus, 12/30/05)
Top 11 Stories That Really Aren’t True Even Though They “Sound Authentic” (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 12/29/05)
Top 11 Romantic Nicknames from Garrison Keillor (Sisyphus, 12/28/05)
Top 11 Gifts I DON’T Want To Find Under My Tree This Christmas (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 12/24/05)
Top 11 Lyrics from the Brokeback Mountain Christmas Album (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 12/23/05)
Top 11 Children’s Christmas Presents that Might Offend Conservative Parents (in red) or Liberal Parents (in blue) (Sisyphus, 12/23/05)
Top 11Classic Rock Lyrics For Use In Powerline Headlines (JB, 12/23/05)
Top 11 New Titles For Gay Westerns (JB, 12/22/05)
Top 11 Legitimate Quotes (And Illegitimate Snarky Comments) From Brokeback Mountain (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/21/05)
Top 11 Most Obsequious Things I Said to Suck Up to John Hinderaker at Saturday’s MOB Event (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/20/05)
Top 11 Answers I would Like to Hear George W. Bush Give to the “What is Your Worst Mistake as President?” Question (Sisyphus, 12/19/05)
Top 11 Reasons the Minneapolis City Council Refuses to Rescind the Smoking Ban (Sisyphus, 12/17/05)
Top 11 Democratic Party/Mainstream Media Responses to the Successful Iraqi Elections (Sisyphus, 12/15/05)
Top 11 Upcoming Hugh Hewitt Libels (Sisyphus, 12/16/05)
Top 11 Reasons To Attend Saturday’s MOB Even At Keegan’s Pub (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/15/05)
Top 11 Changes Disney Has In Store for “Winnie the Pooh” (Sisyphus, 12/12/05)

Top 11 Holiday Greetings From President Bush (Nihilist In Golf Pants, 12/10/05)
Top 11 Excuses Rich MPLS Conservatives Make For High Crime in The City (JB, 12/09/05)
Top 11 Ways to Bring Mitch and JB Together (Sisyphus, 12/08/05)
Top 11 People or Groups Angry About The Kalamazoo Promise
Top 11 Democratic Strategies For The War In Iraq (Nihilist In Golf Pants, 12/07/05) (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 12/05/05)

Top 11 Things That Should Be Renamed For Paul & Sheila Wellstone (Nihilist In Golf Pants, 12/02/05)
Top 11 People Who Had The Worst Thanksgiving Week
Top 11 Reasons The Canadian Government Fell (Sisyphus, 11/29/05)
(Nihilist In Golf Pants, 12/01/05)

Top 11 Other Items In New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson’s Bio That Should Probably Be Checked Out (Sisyphus, 11/26/05)
Top 11 Changes In Store Now That The Parents Of Sisyphus Have Discovered This Blog (Sisyphus, 11/26/05)
Top 11 Indications That Rep. John Murtha May, In Fact, Be A Coward
(Sisyphus, 11/22/05)
Top 11 Highlights Of The Vikings New Code Of Conduct (Sisyphus, 11/20/05)
Top 11 College Football Rivalries (Sisyphus, 11/19/05)
Top 11 Things Allowed In Communist China But Not Minneapolis, Minnesota (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/17/05)
Top 11 Ways to Pick Up the Spirits of Republicans (Sisyphus, 11/17/05)
Top 11 Reasons Concertgoing Girls Rioted At Brookdale Mall (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 11/15/05)
Top 11 Most Conservative MOB Bloggers (Sisyphus, 11/14/05)
Top 11 Snippets of Conversation Overheard During Bank Robberies by the Cell Phone Bandit (Sisyphus, 11/12/05)
Top 11 Changes In Store for St. Paul Under Mayor Chris Coleman (Sisyphus, 11/09/05)
The Top 11 Reasons For The Riots in Paris (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/04/05)
Top 11 Michael Brown E-mails (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 11/03/05)
Top 11 Ways Chad the Elder is Commemorating the Visit of the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall to the United States (Sisyphus, 11/02/05)

Top 11 Items Discussed In The Secret Senate Session (Sisyphus, 11/01/05)

Top 11 Nicknames For Judge Alito That Would Be Even Scarier Than “Scalito” To Liberals (Sisyphus, 10/31/05)
Top 11 Nicknames For Judge Alito That Would Have Made Liberal Feel Better (Sisyphus, 10/31/05)
Top 11 Ways St. Paul Mayor Randy Kelly Can Turn Around His Dismal Re-Election Poll Numbers Vs. Chris Coleman (Sisyphus, 10/28/05)
Top 11 Lies (Sources Tell NIGP) that Scooter Libby Told to the Grand Jury (Sisyphus, 10/28/05)
Top 11 People Al Franken is Convinced He Could Beat-Up if He Really Wanted To (Sisyphus, 10/27/05)
Top 11 Innocent Explanations for that $150,000 in George Galloway’s Wife’s Account (Sisyphus, 10/26/05)
Top 11 Reasons Why Blogs Should Not Allow Comments
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/25/05)
Top 9 Actions Performed By George W. Bush that Hugh Hewitt Wouldn’t Support (Maybe) (Sisyphus, 10/24/05)
Top 11 Quotes You Won’t Hear After the Vikings Improbable Victory Over The Packers (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 10/24/05)
Top 11 Dead Iconoclastic Heroes of the Left
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/22/05)
Without A Doubt The Worst Top 11 List Ever
(Sisyphus, 10/21/05)
Top 11 Ways to Improve Minnesota’s Hooker Ranking
(Sisyphus, 10/20/05)
Top 11 New Marketing Slogans For Planned Parenthood
(JB, 10/17/05)
Top 11 Best/Worst Hooker States (Sisyphus, 10/15/05)
Top 11 Reasons I Wasn’t Invited on the Vikings Cruise (Sisyphus, 10/12/05)
Top 11 Ways to Spell the name Of Our Next Supreme Court Justice (Sisyphus, 10/07/05)
Top 11 Qualifications That Make Harriet Miers Fit To Be A Justice On The Supreme Court (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/05/05)
Top 11 Songs That It’s Acceptable For A Man To Well Up To (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/03/05)
Top 11 TV Episodes We’ll Never See, Not in a Million Years (Sisyphus, 10/03/05)
Top 11 Aluminum Anniversary Gifts (Sisyphus, 10/01/05)

Top 11 Names Being Considered By Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner For Their Daughter (Sisyphus, 9/30/05)
The Second 11 Names Being Considered by Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner For Their Daughter (Sisyphus, 9/30/05)
Top 11 Names Eliminated For Consideration By Ben Affleck And Jennifer Gardner For Their Daughter (Sisyphus, 9/30/05)
Top 11 Upcoming Ronnie Earle Indictments (Sisyphus, 9/29/05)
Top 11 Reasons the Supreme Court Agreed to Hear Anna Nicole Smith's Lawsuit (Sisyphus, 9/30/05) (Sisyphus, 9/30/05)
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 9/28/05)
Top 11 Reasons Former Klansman Robert Byrd (D-WV) Is Running For Re-Election To The United State Senate (Sisyphus, 9/27/05)
Top 11 Lyrics That Prove Bruce Springsteen Is A Leftist Scumbag (like Bruce Dickinson) (JB, 9/23/05)
Top 11 Worst Coaches in Minnesota Sports History (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 9/18/05)
Top 11 Real Reasons All Of Those Minneapolis Bars Went Out Of Business
(Sisyphus, 9/17/05)
Top 11 Reasons the Renee Zellweger – Kenny Chesney Marriage Failed After Only Five Months (Sisyphus, 9/16/05)
Top 11 Reasons Why Captain Ed Is Featured in Playboy Magazine (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 9/14/05)
Top 11 Questions I Would Ask John Roberts If I Were On The Senate Judiciary Committee (Sisyphus, 9/13/05)
Top 11 Michael Brown Resume Pads (Sisyphus, 9/13/05)
Top 11 Reasons The Vikings Are Better Without Randy Moss
Top 11 Reasons I Wore the Wellstone Shirt (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 9/12/05)
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 9/08/05)
Top 11 Posts in the History of this Site (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 9/05/05)
Dueling Top 11 Lists (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 9/05/05)
Top 11 Ways George W. Bush Could Have Prevented Hurricane Katrina
Top 11 French Contributions To Hurricane Relief (Sisyphus, 9/02/05)
Top 11 Actual Reasons I Haven’t Posted in Nearly A Week (Sisyphus, 9/02/05)
Top 11 Reasons Sisyphus Hasn’t Posted (Nihilist in Golf Pansts, 9/02/05)
(Sisyphus, 9/04/05)

Top 11 Reasons Cheri Pierson Yecke Is Leaving Minnesota For Florida (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/30/05)
Top 11 Reasons The Nihilist WAS Invited To My Bachelor Party
(JB, 8/28/05)
Top 11 Suspects Responsible for Shooting of Marion “Suge” Knight
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/28/05)
Top 11 Reasons James Lileks Wasn’t Invited to JB Doubtless’ Bachelor Party
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/26/05)
Top 11 Reasons Hugh Hewitt Was Not Invited To My Bachelor Party
(JB, 8/25/05)
Top 11 Things Michael Moore Will Secretly Eat While At His Florida Fat Farm (Sisyphus, 8/24/05)
Top 11 Things That Will Remain The Same At Nihilist In Golf Pants (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/22/05)
Top 11 Changes In Store For Nihilist In Golf Pants Now That We’re Playing With The Big Boys (Sisyphus, 8/22/05)
Top 11 Issues Debated At JB Doubtless’ Bachelor Party (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/21/05)
Top 11 Reasons for the Delay of Iraq’s Constitution (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/16/05)
Top 11 Howard Dean Messages Aimed at Revitalizing the Democratic Party (Sisyphus, 8/12/05)
Top 11 Things That Nick Coleman Will Have Time For Now That He Doesn’t Have A Radio Show (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 8/10/05)
Top 11 Things I Will Miss about the Nick Coleman Radio Show (Sisyphus, 8/9/05)
Top 11 Beliefs of Moonbats Protesting The Dropping of the A-Bomb on Hiroshima (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 8/7/05)
Top 11 Upcoming Nick Coleman Columns (with links to their inspiration) (Sisyphus, 8/6/05)
Top 11 Slogans on the New Line of Sisyphus Thongs (Sisyphus, 8/6/05)
Top 11 Creative Financing Ideas for Air America
(Sisyphus, 8/1/05)

Top 11 Items Being Collected By Reporters’ Angels
(Sisyphus, 7/29/05)
Top 11 Better Threats Helen Thomas Could Make to Keep Dick Cheney from Running for President
(Sisyphus, 7/28/05)
Top 11 Things Hillary is Doing to Try to Appear More Conservative
(Sisyphus, 7/28/05)
Top 11 Worst Names For a Baby Boy
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 7/28/05)
Top 11 Indications that John Roberts’ Four year Old Son is Gay
(Sisyphus, 7/23/05)
Top 11 Bad Thing Happening in Iraq as a Result of the American Presence
(Sisyphus, 7/22/05)
Top 11 Indications that John Roberts is Out of the Mainstream
(Sisyphus, 7/19/05)
Top 11 Revelations that would Lead Me to Call For Karl Rove’s Head
(Sisyphus, 7/17/05)
Top 11 Pieces of Dirt on Mark Yost
(Sisyphus, 7/15/05)
Top 11 Better Ways to Get Rid of Chipmunks
(Sisyphus, 7/14/05)
Top 11 Possible Reasons Rabuse On The Right Is No Longer On AM 1280, The Patriot
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 7/14/05)
Top 11 Opponents Ron Reagan Jr. Could Defeat in a Debate (maybe)
(Sisyphus, 7/12/05)
Top 11 Ways Unessential State Employees Kept Busy During the Government Shutdown
(Sisyphus, 7/9/05)
Top 11 Musicians that Inspired Johnny Depp’s Portrayal of Other Characters
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 7/9/05)
Top 11 Ways the Deep Impact Probe Damages the Horoscope, Ruins History
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 7/7/05)
Top 11 Accusations I would Make if I were Writing a Hillary Clinton Smear Biography
(Sisyphus, 7/6/05)
Top 11 Ways the Star Tribune Has Been Padding It’s Circulation Numbers
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 7/5/05)
Top 11 Ideas Thomas Jefferson Didn’t Have When He Wrote the Declaration of Independence
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 7/4/05)
Top 11 Search Strings that Led to Disappointing Visits to NIGP
(Sisyphus, 7/3/05)
Top 11 Liberal Gals that an Undiscriminating Conservative Might Like to Shag
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 7/3/05)
Top 11 Explanations for the Minnesota Senate Democrats’ Decision to Adjourn Before Reaching a Budget Deal
(Sisyphus, 7/1/05)

Top 11 Flavors of Ice Cream that I Don’t Want to Try
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/28/05)
Senator Robert Byrd’s Top 11 Excuses for Having Founded the Crab Orchard WV Branch of the Ku Klux Klan
(Sisyphus, 6/20/05)
Top 11 Amendments I’d Make to the Patriot Act
(Sisyphus, 6/18/05)
Top 11 Kevin Bacon or Francis Bacon Quotes
(Sisyphus, 6/14/05)
Top 11 Reasons Minnesota is better than Colorado
(Sisyphus, 6/13/05)
Top 11 Coolest Characters in the Star Wars Series
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/13/05)
Top 11 Additions That NARN Bloggers Would Make to the Discovery Channel’s List of the 25 Greatest Americans
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/11/05)
Top 11 Reasons Jimmy Carter Wants to Close Gulag Guantanamo
(Sisyphus, 6/10/05)
Top 11 Revelations in John Kerry’s Military Records
(Sisyphus, 6/7/05)
Top 11 Gulag Guantanamo Atrocities
(Sisyphus, 6/4/05)
Top 11 Better Choices For Deep Throat
(Sisyphus, 6/1/05)

Top 11 Reasons the French Rejected the EU Constitution
(Sisyphus, 5/29/05)
Top 11 Things That Made George Voinovich Cry Yesterday
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/26/05)
Top 11 Object of Ridicule at NIGP
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/26/05)
Top 11 Things the Republicans Get in Exchange for Surrendering on Judges
(Sisyphus, 5/23/05)
Top 11 Words that are not in Microsoft Word’s Spell Check Dictionary
(Sisyphus, 5/20/05)
Top 11 Names Nick Coleman Used To Describe Conservative Bloggers (or blaaahgers as Nick would say) On His Radio Show Today
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/19/05)
Top 11 Upcoming Newsweek Periscope Items
(Sisyphus, 5/16/05)
Top 11 Ethical/Unethical Actions for Journalists
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/8/05)
Top 11 Most Bitter Moments in Atomizer’s Sports Life
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/5/05)
Top 11 Skanks of All Time
(Sisyphus, 5/2/05)

Top 11 Reasons Why Bush is Worse Than Hitler
(Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/29/05)
Top 11 Unfinished Top 11 Lists
(Sisyphus, 4/27/05)
Top 11 Things I Learned Running for Pope
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 4/22/05)
Top 11 Explanations for the Killer Rabbit Attack on Jimmy Carter
(Sisyphus, 4/20/05)
Top 11 Songs that Saved My Life
(Sisyphus, 4/14/05)

Top 11 Ways the World Would be Eviler if St. Kate Achieved Her Goal of World Domination
(Sisyphus, 3/30/05)
Top 11 Reasons to Kill Terri Schiavo
(Sisyphus, 3/21/05)
Top 11 Tastiest Animals
(Sisyphus, 3/15/05)
Nihilist's Top 11 Ways to Reduce Your Taxes That You Won't Find In a Financial Magazine
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 3/12/05)
Top 11 Reasons it would be a Bad Idea for the Kool Aid Report to Join the Nuclear Club
(Sisyphus, 3/12/05)
Top 11 Revelations about North Korea from the LA Times
(Sisyphus, 3/5/05)

Nihilist in Golf Pants’ Top 11 Actions to Take as New Pope
(Nihilist in Golf Pants, 2/27/05)
Top 11 Upcoming Liberal Blogswarms
(Sisyphus, 2/19/05)
Top 11 Features of the New Attack Submarine, The USS Jimmy Carter
(Sisyphus, 2/16/05)
Top 11 New Job Prospects for Eason Jordan
(Sisyphus, 2/12/05)

Top 11 Reasons Nihilist in Golf Pants Should be Elected to Congress
(Sisyphus, 1/31/05)
Top 11 Compromise Names for Olson Memorial Highway
(Sisyphus, 1/28/05)
Top 11 Ways to Console a Despondent Vikings Fan
(Sisyphus, 1/17/05)
Top 11 Ways to Console a Despondent Packer Fan
(Sisyphus, 1/9/05)
Top 11 Ways to Become Wealthy
(Sisyphus, 1/1/05)

Top 11 Things Nick Coleman Knows
(Sisyphus, 12/23/04)