Sunday, July 30, 2006

Top 11 Mel Gibson Excuses

11. Thought he was ordering alcohol free gin and tonics

10. Was doing research for his next film, “Lethal Weapon V: Loaded Anti-Semite”

9. The police just misunderstood: He was actually blaming all of the wars in the world on Huey Lewis’ backup band

8. Apologized for calling the female Deputy “Sugar Tits” – he meant to call her “Angel Tits

7. Has been hanging out with the Hoff too much lately

6. Was under the impression that everyone who drove drunk was just given a ride home, but apparently that applies only to Kennedys

5. The police just misunderstood: He was actually asking the Deputy whether she was Rew from Power Liberal

4. Mel has a naturally high blood alcohol level and his test result didn’t come from an exogenous outside source of alcohol

3. George Bush’s arrogant decision to ignore the Kyoto treaty led to the global warming which made Mel thirsty

2. The police just misunderstood: He was actually complaining about the “dirty pews” in the police station

1. Ran into the same Malibu cop who hassled The Dude in “The Big Lebowski”

5 Comments:

Blogger Chad The Elder said...

Being an open Christian in Hollywood is a heavy cross for anyone to bear.

Started with wine that night, but it tasted like vinegar so he switched to G and Ts.


Pissed that Spielberg won't let him play Moses in the forthcoming "Exodus: The Real Story" an even-handed account of the tit-for-tat, violence only begets more violence, struggle between the Israelites and the Egyptians.

Was drinking with Cynthia McKinney's father that night.

Went on bender because he felt that he was being crucified by the Jewish-controlled media.

9:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how do u know he's an amazing human being? talent, ya...i guess...alot of people are talented, doesnt mean ur god!there have been alot of depictions on how jesus lived, but know one REALLY knows the truth, do they?!?...holocost true, millions died, and once again, doesnt matter if they were jewish or not...PEOPLE DIED FOR NO REASON!!!man, people need to get off the religious bigotry and just except people for who they are...STOP BLAMING EACH OTHER!!! HELP each other!!!INCLUDING THE CELEBS THAT MAKE MILLIONS OFF OF US!!!thank you jolie, pitt, gates, stone, beil, washington...u dont see them blaming the jews, they're out making a difference:P

11:33 AM  
Blogger Swiftee said...

"PEOPLE DIED FOR NO REASON!!!"

Haven't u hurd? People d-eyd cuz Bush Lied!

Get with teh program dude.

7:00 PM  
Blogger Swiftee said...

Oh, almost forgot..

....WOOT!

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Top 11 Ways Mr. Gibson could Earn Hollywood's Forgiveness:
11 Renounce his Catholic faith.
10 Begin study of Buddhistic-Scientology with Madonna and John Travolta.
9 Admit to extra-marital affair with Cindy Sheehan
8 Abandon Cindy Sheehan for Hillary Clinton.
7 Donate one million dollars to Planned Parenthood.
6 Donate one million dollars to Hillary's Presidential campaign.
5 Abandon Hillary Clinton for David Geffen.
4 Explain this difficult romantic decision to the Oprah Show.
3 Announce startup of new film sympathetic to gentlemen pedophiles and their devoted child sweethearts.
2 Star in Michael Moore's next cinema-verite production.
1 Crash his Lexus into the Oval Office.

12:04 PM  

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