Friday, July 28, 2006

Nihilist in Golf Pants Announces Second Quarter Financial Results

Nihilist in Golf Pants (NIGP) announced today financial results for its second quarter ended June 30, 2006.

................ Second Quarter .... Year to Date
................ 2006 ..... 2005 .. 2006 .... 2005

Revenue ...........$0 ........$0 .... $0 .......$0

Cost of revenue ... 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0

Gross profit ...... 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
Operating
expenses ...
....... 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
Selling, marketing
and product support
0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
General and
Administrative ....
0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
Research and
Development .......
0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0

Income from
operations ........ 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
Other income ...... 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
Income before income
Taxes ............. 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
Income taxes ...... 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0
Net income ........ 0 ........ 0 ..... 0 ....... 0

Chief Financial Officer Sisyphus said, “We are pleased to announce our eighth consecutive quarter without a loss, a streak that cannot be matched by the automotive industry, the airline industry, or most of the mainstream media. We attribute our success to the tight cost control measures insisted upon by our Chief Operating Officer, the Nihilist in Golf Pants.”

Chief Operating Officer Nihilist in Golf Pants said, “We hope that our success in achieving our goal of zero expenses and zero revenues will provide an example for local, state, and federal governments.”

4 Comments:

Blogger SurfingKC said...

Will there be an IPO? I have a large amount of cash coming from the daughter of some former president of an African nation. She's going to transfer a large sum of cash to me as soon as I give her my bank account information. Just let me know!

10:05 AM  
Anonymous spurringirl said...

Who in the hell is your external auditor?

10:07 AM  
Blogger Sisyphus said...

Sufingkc: Keep watching the financial news.

spurringirl: The job could be yours - if you know how to play ball.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous spurringirl said...

Oh I'll play ball. For a cut.

5:13 PM  

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