Top 11 Reasons I Wasn’t Invited on the Vikings Cruise

11. Fred Smoot is still bitter over our Harriet Miers argument.

10. I oppose the addition of a tax-payer funded “Orgy Room” to the new stadium.

9. I tend to bogart the booze.

8. I insisted on inviting Randy Moss.

7. I did a “Najeh” in the closet during the last cruise.

6. I refused to live-blog.

5. I tend to bogart the hookers.

4. The Power Line guys have turned them against me.

3. Every time I see Daunte Culpepper I can’t resist making a “small hands” joke.

2. My deluxe version of the Original Wizzonator makes them feel inadequate.

1. They keep confusing me with the Nihilist.