Awarding Me The Nobel Prize In Literature Would Hurt The Bush Administration

I realize that there are many fine candidates for the 2005 Nobel Prize in Literature, but there is only one whose win will send George W. Bush into hysterical fits of crying and gnashing of teeth. I am that candidate.

My controversial three part series detailing my experiences while incarcerated in Bush’s Gulag Guantanamo has been favorably compared to fellow (I hope) Nobel Laureate Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s “One day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich”. Solzhenitsyn has been credited with helping bring an end to the evil Soviet empire; my work will likely bring down the eviler Bush Empire.

I realize that I face an uphill battle going against the Bush-Blair machine. For example, I’m not even mentioned by a British gambling website that is taking action on the Literature Prize. I’m sure Blair has ReadaBet.com under his thumb.

The favorites listed on the site are all very strongly pro-Bush:

Syrian poet Adonis is currently the favorite at 6/4. You can tell that he has a huge ego just by his choice of “Adonis” as a pseudonym. It is probably this arrogance that led Paul Wolfowitz to base Bush’s Iraq policy on his poetry.

Next at 6 to 1 is Halliburton-Sweden executive Thomas Transtromer. Apparently Transtromer’s poems celebrating Texas and petroleum are quite moving, if you’re into that kind of thing.

At 7 to 1 is Joyce Carol Oates, or if you know her by her married name, Mrs. Karl Rove. Personally, I don’t believe the rumors that most of her work was actually ghost written by Bush speechwriters.

Will the Nobel Committee express its dissatisfaction with the policies of the Bush administration and award me the Prize or will it select one of the Bush toadies? We will soon find out.