Top 11 Reasons Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Went to Namibia For The Birth Of Their Daughter, Shiloh Noeuvel Jolie-Pitt

11. Wanted their offspring to have all the advantages of an illegal alien in the United States

10. They were going to have the kid in Minneapolis, but were afraid of the rising crime rate

9. Thought most of the paparazzi would get confused and end up in Nairobi

8. Didn’t want the kid to have to wait to see the cool Namibian sand dunes

7. Since the life expectancy at birth in Namibia is 42.29 years, their daughter won't have to endure the slow deterioration of her looks for very long

6. The high incidence of AIDs in Namibia makes it less likely that Brad will cheat on Angelina while she’s giving birth

5. There wasn’t much they could do about Namibia’s lack of natural fresh water, but they could do something about their lack of celebrities

4. For some odd reason, Namibians seem to have actually enjoyed “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”

3. Wanted their child born in a country that had English as its official language

2. Namibians less likely to realize that they’ve named their kid after a bloody U. S. Civil War battle

1. They’re just nuts