Monday, May 22, 2006

Top 11 Explanations For the $90,000 Found In Democratic Congressman William Jefferson’s Freezer

The FBI has recovered $90,000 from the freezer of Democratic Congressman William Jefferson. Congressman Jefferson, who represents New Orleans, was allegedly to use the money to bribe a high-ranking Nigerian official. Since the “Culture of Corruption” applies only to Republicans, there must be an innocent explanation; here are the top 11:

11. Karl Rove planted it

10. Always heard about people having their assets frozen and wanted see what it was like

9. Was just holding it for Duke Cunningham

8. Had to keep his money in his freezer ever since Bush sent hurricane Katrina to New Orleans to destroy his wall safe

7. The Congressman hasn’t trusted the banking system ever since the Neil Bush S & L scandal

6. There were no WMDs in Iraq

5. All the cool Congressmen take bribes

4. Republicans like to persecute anyone with “William Jefferson” in their name

3. The cash was to be used in his own sting to expose a Nigerian official who had e-mailed the Congressman asking his help in illegally smuggling money out of Nigeria

2. Laundering money may be illegal, but there is no law against cooling it down a little

1. The money was perfectly legal – he made it smuggling not-yet-documented citizens across the border


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