Top 11 Reasons For the Delay of Iraq's Constitution

11. Can't decide whether Bush's buddies get 85% or 90% of oil profits
10. Pestered by e-mail span from moveon.org
9. Arguing over whether to legalize gay marriage
8. Hard to keep 400 representatives in one poorly ventilated room when they all had hummus for lunch
7. Distracted by satellite broadcasts of MTV's "The Real World: Austin"
6. The foreign journalist lobby keeps demanding subsidies for hair salons and karaoke bars
5. In stunned shock that Mark Yost insulted the most heroic people they have ever seen: American war correspondents
4. Delay in receiving top-secret instructions from Dick Cheney
3. Read the NY Times and decided anything they do is futile
2. Wrestling enthusiasts want expanded powers for the AWA's sheik Adnan Al-Kassie
1. Paralyzed by fear that Jimmy Carter may visit to oversee installation of new government