Monday, June 13, 2005

Top 11 Reasons Minnesota is better than Colorado

11. The air in Minnesota contains much more oxygen.
10. Minnesota’s capitol city is named after a Saint.
9. Famous Minnesotan: F. Scott Fitzgerald. Famous Coloradan: Ward Churchill.
8. Minnesota’s state soil: Lester. Colorado’s state soil: Seitz.
7. Minnesota has a lower gas tax.
6. Phil Kessel will play for the Gopher hockey team next season.
5. Colorado’s highest point is the dorkilly named Mt. Elbert. Minnesota’s highest point is the awesomely named Eagle Mountain.
4. Does Colorado even have a single decent lake?
3. Rectangular states are boring.
2. Colorado doesn’t even have a commissioner of hockey.
1. Colorado’s state quarter blows


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Top Eleven Logical Rebuttals that someone as intelligent as the Sisyphus should have known:

11. Minnesotans apparently need more air. Once they come to Colorado their brains shut down. We here in Colorado have trained ourselves to be able to think clearly no matter what the altitude.

10. Denver was originally named St. Charles, but joined another settlement to become Denver. Nevertheless, this change was approved by God, because, you know, He actually lives here.

9. Famous Minnesotans, see also: Joseph McCarthy, Walter Mondale, Jesse Ventura, The Artist formerly known as Prince and Louie Anderson. Care to apologize for anything there Minnesota?

8. Colorado's State Animal, The Rocky Mountain Bighorn Sheep. Minnesota's State Animal, The Mosquito( Oops sorry, scratch that, they don't have one yet. They are still working on the definition of "animal" apparently.)

7. Minnesota has a lower Gas tax to encourage people to drive. Colorado doesn't need one because we have things people actually want to drive to and see.

6. DU Pioneers, back-to-back National Champions, and looking for the three-peat.

5. Colorado's Highest Point: 14,433 feet. Minnesota's Highest point: 2,301 feet. Classic case of little man syndrome.

4. I admit it may be hard to know where the lakes are in Colorado. You see, we don't surround them with houses, just mountains.

3. What Shape is Minnesota again? it looks like a paint splatter.

2. After Hugh's exploits on the snowmobile, we thought it best to leave it this way.


4:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. Colorado's State Quarter Rules!

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

* We have all the O(2) we need. This is just one more excuse for upper mid-westerners to whine (and I have not encountered a whinier breed of people).

* We have Buffalo Bill, you have Prince. We have The Unsinkable Molly Brown, you have Paul Tsongas.

* Speaking of the late senator, his nick-name was Paul Tax-on-gas.

* Denver was named after James W. Denver, governor of Kansas (also a nice place -- why the Ingalls chose to leave there for Minn. is difficult to imagine).

* Ever heard of Grand Lake? Its not the quantity of lakes, it's the quality.

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CORRECTION: Paul Tsongas was from Mass. (Coloradans admit their mistakes). An honest mistake, as there is now almost no difference politically between Minnesota and the North-east.

Anyway, you did give us Walter Mondale. (Note: Patsy Schroeder was an interloper from the upper Midwest)

Mark Slater

5:44 PM  

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