Top 11 Revelations in John Kerry’s Military Records

11. He dressed as a woman during the Korean War, but Col. Potter wouldn’t give him a section 8.
10. He was once reprimanded for touching a Koran wearing one-ply rubber gloves instead of the regulation three-ply.
9. At Yale, he got a 77 in French, but a 97 in looking French.
8. He dropped the class Intro to Gold Mining Engineering & Gold Mining Methods when he realized it had nothing to do with finding a rich wife.
7. He attributed his five D’s freshman year to all of the conservative professors at Yale.
6. While he never was in Cambodia, he did often eat at a Boston Cambodian restaurant.
5. Screamed “YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” during his court martial for running guns to the Khmer Rouge.
4. He was honorably discharged (depending on your definition of “honorably”).
3. The navy forced him to shave off his Hitler moustache, but let him keep his Hitler haircut.
2. Tried to get out of his enlistment by claiming he thought he was applying for a job at Old Navy.
1. Once slapped an enlisted man for using his salad fork on his entrée.