Top 11 Explanations For North Korea’s Failed Missile Test

11. The New York Times article they got the plans from was written by Jason Blair

10. Ox dung is less effective as a rocket fuel than they thought

9. The test wasn’t a failure – they were aiming for the whale that had bitten off their leg

8. You try to design a rocket on 300 calories a day

7. Kim Jong-Il insisted they replace the body of the rocket with a statue of him

6. They’re trying to trick the world into thinking they suck at building ICBMs

5. Guidance computer was from a 1980’s Atari video game

4. Still haven’t gotten over the death of Marissa on “The O.C.”

3. They executed all of their experienced rocket scientists after the last failed test

2. Engineers were having trouble filling out their TPS Reports

1. Kim made them launch before they were ready because he was upset that Bush didn’t take him to Graceland with the Japanese Prime Minister