Top 11 Actual Reasons I Haven’t Posted in Nearly A Week

11. Trying to see how long I have to be disappeared before Fox News devotes its entire prime-time schedule to me.
10. Still haven’t recovered from the Nihilist’s “We’ve got to live in this town!” tirade.
9. Honoring the Northwest Mechanic’s picket line.
8. Every time I start to write a post it turns into an inappropriate hurricane joke.
7. I don’t want to interfere with the Nihilist’s plan to attract links from liberal bloggers.
6. I like to create an aura of mystery around myself.
5. Hugh Hewitt nixed my plan to urge hurricane relief donations to “The Human Fund”.
4. Jimmy Carter has been quiet lately.
3. Just emulating the posting habits of some of my favorite bloggers: St. Paul, Atomizer, JB Doubtless, V-Toed Bill, Margaret Martin, David Strom, and Calamity Jo.
2. Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get paid by Sharon Osbourne to pelt Iron Maiden with garbage.
1. Karl Rove’s e-mail has been down