I Hate The Minnesota State Fair
It’s once again the most annoying time of the year in the Twin Cities: State Fair time. That means I’ll have this conversation at least a dozen times:
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
So, when are you going to the Fair this year?
SISYPHUS:
I’m not.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
What do you mean? Have you been there already? Aren’t you going again? I go two or three times a year.
SISYPHUS:
No, I’m not going at all. I hate the Fair.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
No, seriously, when are you going?
SISYPHUS:
I really seriously hate the Fair: over-crowded, bad traffic, no decent parking – it has no redeeming aspects to me.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
How can you hate the Fair? What about the food?
SISYPHUS:
I hate the food. It’s greasy, exorbitantly priced, and the fact that it is on a stick does nothing for me.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
If you can’t afford the admission price, I know a place where you can climb over the fence.
SISYPHUS:
It’s not the cost. In fact, there are too many smelly poor people at the Fair.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
What about all the eye candy?
SISYPHUS:
When you take into consideration all of people who are painful to look at, the ratio of good looking people is probably no better than at Michael Moore’s fat farm.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
Okay, but don’t you want to see the prize winning livestock?
SISYPHUS:
If you’ve seen one giant hog, you’ve seen them all.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
The … the ... the … live radio shows. Don’t you want to see your favorite radio shows broadcast live?
SISYPHUS:
Not really, I don’t have to go down to the Fair to listen to them, and why would I want to see them? Most radio people aren’t on the air for their good looks.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
….. The NARN Broadcast …… don’t you want to see all of the hot, hot, Brian “Saint Paul” Ward groupies?
SISYPHUS:
Okay, you do have a good point there, but the young hotties tend to be focused just on Brian.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
But … but … but … the free stuff.
SISYPHUS:
You mean the KS-95 refrigerator magnet and the Pioneer Press tote bag? I can afford to buy my own plastic bags.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
Ggggggo … g go … back to Alabama … sicko.
I’ve had this conversation six times already, six more to go.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
So, when are you going to the Fair this year?
SISYPHUS:
I’m not.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
What do you mean? Have you been there already? Aren’t you going again? I go two or three times a year.
SISYPHUS:
No, I’m not going at all. I hate the Fair.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
No, seriously, when are you going?
SISYPHUS:
I really seriously hate the Fair: over-crowded, bad traffic, no decent parking – it has no redeeming aspects to me.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
How can you hate the Fair? What about the food?
SISYPHUS:
I hate the food. It’s greasy, exorbitantly priced, and the fact that it is on a stick does nothing for me.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
If you can’t afford the admission price, I know a place where you can climb over the fence.
SISYPHUS:
It’s not the cost. In fact, there are too many smelly poor people at the Fair.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
What about all the eye candy?
SISYPHUS:
When you take into consideration all of people who are painful to look at, the ratio of good looking people is probably no better than at Michael Moore’s fat farm.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
Okay, but don’t you want to see the prize winning livestock?
SISYPHUS:
If you’ve seen one giant hog, you’ve seen them all.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
The … the ... the … live radio shows. Don’t you want to see your favorite radio shows broadcast live?
SISYPHUS:
Not really, I don’t have to go down to the Fair to listen to them, and why would I want to see them? Most radio people aren’t on the air for their good looks.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
….. The NARN Broadcast …… don’t you want to see all of the hot, hot, Brian “Saint Paul” Ward groupies?
SISYPHUS:
Okay, you do have a good point there, but the young hotties tend to be focused just on Brian.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
But … but … but … the free stuff.
SISYPHUS:
You mean the KS-95 refrigerator magnet and the Pioneer Press tote bag? I can afford to buy my own plastic bags.
TYPICAL MINNESOTAN:
Ggggggo … g go … back to Alabama … sicko.
I’ve had this conversation six times already, six more to go.
posted by Sisyphus at 8/27/2005 08:58:00 AM
14 Comments:
Where else can you see someone's face carved in butter?
And the bees. Bees and surplus humans. Oh boy.
Clicking that ole next blog button sure is fun. That’s how I found you!
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If someone kept going aroung me asking me question after question about the fair I hate, I'd knock his head off his shoulders! ;-) PEACE & HOLLABACK
This thread is making me hungry for Spam. On a stick. With bees.
I'm with you. Fuck the fair. Suburbanites staring at farm animals with only slightly fatter asses than themselves.
Swollen breasts. Pillow arms. 'Front butts.' And that's just the men.
The Fair is a spectacle. I cannot endure it.
"If you can’t afford the admission price, I know a place where you can climb over the fence."..you have got to be kidding me with that comment, I cant stop laughing at it.
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