Monday, May 16, 2005

Top 11 Upcoming Newsweek Periscope Items

11. Detroit Pistons win NBA title.
10. Sources close to the OC tell us that Seth has been hitting on Marissa. Are you going to do anything about that, Ryan?
9. Fox TV tells Newsweek that Paris Hilton is to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol.
8. Japanese sources say that Kim Jong Il is too much of a pussy to actually use his nuke against them.
7. Yankees to trade A-Rod to Red Sox.
6. Marquette sources reveal: Learned Foot is responsible for the mascot name change to The Marquette Li’l’ Injun Scalpers.
5. Christians announce that they intend to vote in the next election.
4. Sources close to Senator Frist reveal: not only will the senate filibuster rule be changed, but the rule allowing free tequila for the Massachusetts delegation will be eliminated.
3. That cigar Bill Clinton gave you? Our sources say it was definitely Monica-ized.
2. FDA to ban donuts from the buffet tables at documentary film shoots.
1. Hey, John Bolton, your secretary says that you can get your own damn coffee.


Blogger Douglas said...


I know this is off-topic, but you don't have an email link.

I'm writing to let you know that MOB blog Belief Seeking Understanding has been retired due to technical difficulties. I am now starting a new blog with the title "Apprehension," which you can find at I hope you'll stop by!

Best wishes,

Douglas Bass

4:48 AM  

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