Top 11 Reasons Mike Holmgren Didn’t Shake Bill Cowher’s Hand After the Super Bowl

11. Was too busy using his hands to choke Matt Hassleback

10. He had it on good authority that Cowher has cooties

9. Wanted to get back to the hotel in time for “Grey’s Anatomy”

8. The McDonald’s drive thru closes at 10

7. You can’t tell it by looking at him, but Cowher has wicked-bad breath

6. Insulted that Cowher mistook him for a member of the Rolling Stones before the game

5. It’s awfully difficult to break the bad manners that one develops after years of living in Green Bay

4. Believed the post he saw on the Daily Kos claiming that Cowher convinced Bush/Cheney/Rove to get Halliburton to bribe the referees to throw the game to Pittsburgh to help Lynn Swan’s campaign for Governor of Pennsylvania

3. Didn’t want to get too close to Cowher after he drew that insulting cartoon of Muhammad

2. Saw Cowher ignore sign in the Ford Field restroom advising employees to wash hands before returning to work

1. Afraid that getting too close to Cowher would bring back memories from last year's NFL coaches retreat at that sheep ranch in Wyoming