Top 11 Reasons I Didn’t Watch the State of the Union Address

11. Why bother when you can just read Captain Ed’s live blog

10. I knew Hugh Hewitt would replay most of it on his show the next day

9. Too many bad words

8. TNT was showing a Law & Order rerun at the same time

7. The arrest of Cindy Sheehan took all of the drama out of it

6. I like to keep informed, but come on, that speech takes like an hour

5. There hasn’t been a funny State of the Union Address since the Coolidge administration

4. I didn’t really believe the rumor that Joe Biden wrote the speech, but I wasn’t prepared to risk it

3. Couldn’t stand to see the pained look on Hillary’s face whenever McChimp Bushitler said something she found stupid and/or evil

2. I needed to devote my full attention to my game of Spider Solitaire

1. WWPHD? – What Would Paris Hilton Do?