Sunday, January 29, 2006

More Gangsta Than Hipster

The Blogosphere is ripe with the new meme related to Mpls. St. Paul Magazine's hipster quiz. I thought it would be fun to run the quiz by our old friend and reader Leon, to see how much of a hipster he is. Here are the results:

Where do you live? Behind a KFC dumpster in the St. Paul Midway area
With whom? A few rats and some crows
What's your coffeehouse/coffeeshop? KFC
What's your Sunday breakfast spot? KFC
What Do You Drive? Whatever's easiest to hotwire
What sites do you surf for news? Nihilist In Golf Pants & Powerline!
What's the first thing you read in the Strib? The ads for phone sex lines found in the sports page
What's on your morning drive dial? Depends upon whose car I stole, most are tuned to NPR
When not in town, where are you? Ramsey County Jail or a treatment facility
Who's your local band/musician? Don't like local music; a homeless guy with a guitar on University cuts into my take while begging
Where do you have season tickets? I get a ticket almost every season for public urination
What's your apparel store(s)? A pair of what?
Where's your favorite "go to" place that always seems to have just the right thing? Goodwill
Where do you get take-out? KFC
What's your bakery? KFC, their day old biscuits are delicious
Where do you mall? I am homeless and even I know mall is not a verb
Where are you on a Friday night? Searching outside the bars on University for cigarette butts that have a little life left in them, or avoiding baby mammas
Where's your gallery(s)? What the f*** are you talking about?
Who cuts your hair? I knew you'd be impressed with my style; one baby mamma cut it for me
What are you really uptight about? I ain't gonna pay no child support
What's your substance of choice? Lysol strained through white bread
What subjects are you a total geek over? Don't disrespect me or I'll cut you
Where do you refuel? (recharge? feed your soul?) I ain't giving up the address of my dealer!
What's your date night? Any night I see a fine piece
What's the most you've paid for a concert ticket? $120 to see U2
When you're at your naughtiest, you. . . Beat the hell out of a hater
What's your beauty/grooming thing? Hosed off in the drunk tank
What's your workout? Where? Running from the cops, wherever
Who (or what's) the service provider you can't live without? Half-eaten KFC meals
What's your favorite night? Any summer night; it's cold living on the street
What's the next performance you'll attend? St. Paul has some great experimental theater, it's hard to decide
What's an arts organization you support? The local public library; I don't really support it, I just go there every day because it's warm and ain't nothing anyone can go to keep me from loitering there
What's your nightcap? Mad Dog, Ripple, whatever's available
Where's the afterparty? Wherever I am
What's your favorite restaurant for:
food?
KFC
quality?
KFC
late night?
KFC
scene?
KFC
impress your date?
Her place
impress your client?
Don't matter, no matter where they are, my er . . . clients are impressed when I show them a five inch blade
Who's your favorite Twin Citian? Chris Coleman
Hear me now: X will be Y in 6 months. . .Mitch Berg's lawn will be my toilet!

2 Comments:

Blogger Nicko McDave said...

I dropped by the Midway KFC for takeout when I was up there last year and I'm pretty sure I saw Leon hanging around my minivan. Does he speak Spanish, or does he just blissfully ignore the KFC employees?

5:05 AM  
Anonymous Nick C. said...

Leon My Homeboy- I'm a curious MWM looking for a good story to tell. Your profile seems to fit right into my template. Perhaps we can meet for a cup of coffee at KFC (although truth be told I prefer White Castle) or take a bus ride together sometime. I think you'll find we have a lot in common. My interests include porn, beating people with sticks, abandoning my children to chase younger women, and defecating in Mitchell Berg's lawn.

11:46 AM  

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