Monday, April 03, 2006

Top 11 Reasons This Blog Is Better Off Without Sisyphus

So Sisyphus is really gone? Good riddance. In recent months, his selfish, egocentric behavior was distracting the NIGP team from achieving our goals. While there are a lot of "I's" in Nihilist in Golf Pants, there's no "Me" and contributors need to understand that hot dogging and show boating have no place in our game. Sisyphus was unable to act like he'd been there before and couldn't handle the siren song of fame. His "I blog when I want to" attitude had alienated teammates and pretty much destroyed unit cohesion. Line morale at the Nihilist in Golf Pants office had hit rock bottom and I don't blame The Nihilist for shipping him off to a blog hopelessly lost in the linking wilderness.

One hopes that this might be a wake up call for Sisyphus and a last chance to salvage whatever remains of his once promising blogging career. One fears that this will merely be another stop in a series of rejections and failures till he's spit out the bottom of the porn industry. Either way, NIGP will not only survive but thrive in his absence. Here are the Top 11 reasons why:

11. Don't have to listen to Sisyphus refer to himself in the third person. "Sisyphus had a great Top 11 list today. You know...Sisyphus is pretty sweet on you."

10. The gag order on posts about the secret conspiracy of the traffic control industry can now be lifted.

9. His departure frees up a lot of room under the salary cap.

8. Without getting into a lot of personal details, let's just say that our legal expenses will be greatly reduced.

7. No more annoying "OC" chatter around the water cooler.

6. Those losers at Frat Boy Liver Sausage (good one T-Paw) are taken down a peg in the rankings.

5. No more elitist posts about artists and art that no one has ever heard of.

4. Graphics! Sweet, life-affirming graphics.

3. No more obscure, inside-baseball references to particle physics.

2. Meetings won't be interrupted by vulgar outbursts and "woo-wooing" by members of Sisyphus' posse.

1. Finally, the real comedic genius of The Nihilist will be able to emerge from the shadows.


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