Top 11 Reasons Al-Zarqawi Was Fired as Head of Al-Qaeda Iraq

The Times of London has reported that Al-Zarqawi has been removed as leader of Al-Qaeda Iraq. Here are the top 11 reasons for the demotion:

11. Too many of his terrorists copped the attitude: “I’ll blow myself up when I want to blow myself up”

10. His boss found out he was moonlighting with Hamas

9. A photo came out of him with Jack Abramoff

8. He did his Osama impersonation one time too often

7. He was caught with an intern who was not wearing a burhka

6. Bush so ruined the Iraqi economy that even terrorists had to downsize

5. He just seemed to be going through the motions for his last few beheadings

4. A vast right-wing conspiracy practicing the politics of personal destruction was out to get him

3. Everyone was tired of how Zarqawi went on and on about how basketball was superior to soccer

2. He angered Halliburton by blowing up too many oil pipe lines

1. Gosh, could it be because Al-Qaeda isn’t winning the insurgency after all?