Monday, February 13, 2006

Top 11 Reasons for the 24 Hour Delay in Reporting Dick Cheney’s Hunting Accident

11. It took a while for The Wolf to arrange the cleanup

10. Thought Federal law mandating 24 hour cool down period for firearms was for AFTER they were fired.

9. Didn’t want to be distracted by a lot of questions until after the Men’s 20km biathalon

8. Cheney wanted to make sure he hadn't taken Whittington out of season.

7. Didn’t want the press to immediately declare the hunting trip a quagmire

6. Mistakenly thought that the Nihilist in Golf Pants wouldn’t be able to come up with a top 11 list on a Sunday

5. Wanted to arrange a couple more hunting trips before the word got out

4. Had a tough time tying Whittington to the hood to bring him into town

3. Ted Kennedy always saying that you should wait 24 hours before reporting an accident

2. Had to debrief the Halliburton board first

1. Needed time to falsify intelligence showing that Whittington had WMDs

7 Comments:

Anonymous frank martin said...

12. You have to understand that in the right light its amazing just how much Whittington looks like Cindy Sheehan.

13. He was using an italian shotgun, these things happen when you outsource overseas.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Paul said...

14. Was afraid he would immediately be given a Commendation Medal by both Osama bin Laden and Daily Kos for shooting a Republican.

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

15. He thought Whittington "wooked wike a silwy wabbit."

5:33 PM  
Blogger Duncan said...

1. He couldn't find that darn bird!

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(I know this is very boring, unimaginative, and highly improbable, but...) after first taking care of his friend, he thought he would let the local press cover the story, like 99.9% of other news stories daily in the US.

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here I thought it was as a goverment official, he was bound by HIPA, which prevents you from disclosing someone's medical info without their signature on a release....

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He wanted to check whether lawyers were in season(I believe the bag limit is 10 in Texas, and they're always in season)

10:23 AM  

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