Friday, February 10, 2006

Top 11 Problems James Lileks Has Had With Workmen At Jasperwood

Living in a mansion is not easy. Especially when you are not terribly handy and need guys to come over to fix stuff. With that in mind, we have collected the Top 11 problems that Lileks has had with workmen at his Jasperwood estate.

11. Collateral damage to Hummel collection

10. Their stubborn refusal to remove their workboots and organize them in alphabetical order by brand name on the plastic mat in the North Pantry

09. They were not impressed by his threat to tell his "friend" Hugh Hewitt about their shoddy workmanship

08. Wanted them to don biohazard suits when working inside so he wouldn't get a cold

07. They didn't understand his direction to make proposed deck "More 1930's film noir"

06. New Mission-style Lunchables armoir for the kitchen was a supposed to be mahogany, not ovangol!

05. Smalltalk stalled when James referenced the "Minnesota North Stars" in a failed attempt at male bonding

04. Workmen were uncomfortable seeing a grown man do that much "Pledge"-ing

03. Angered him by laughing at his heavily damaged garage door

02. James was annoyed when they failed to get his reference about Mr. Atoz

01. Workmen scared to show up for fear of crime in his neighborhood


Blogger pinkmonkeybird said...

12) One of the bruts called him "Jimmy Leaks".

3:12 PM  

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