Sunday, November 27, 2011

How would you like to see the Packers' season end?


Packers lose one of their final regular season games with backups in, but cruise easily through the playoffs and win Super Bowl XLVI.


Packers finish regular season 16-0 and cruise through playoffs for second consecutive Super Bowl and the second perfect season in NFL history. The NFL cancels next season and declares Packers Super Bowl XLVII champs, as well.


Packers are undefeated going into final regular season game against Lions. Packers decide to go for the perfect season and start Aaron Rodgers. Ndanukong Suh pepper sprays Rodgers and then stomps on his arm, breaking it. Matt Flynn throws four interceptions as Pack loses first playoff game.


Undefeated Packers are heavy Super Bowl favorites over surprise AFC champion, the Denver Broncos. Packers have only a 4 point lead late in fourth quarter despite the fact that Tebow has not completed a single pass. Denver has the ball at the 50 with one second left on clock. Tebow chucks the ball into the air and it appears it will fall incomplete, but an unexpected gust of wind in Lucas Oil Stadium miraculously blows the ball into the hands of Eric Decker for the winning touchdown. A deep booming voice reverberates through the stadium: “IT’S NOT SO MUCH THAT I LIKE TEBOW AS I HATE THE SATANIC PACKERS!”


Undefeated Packers face the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl. The night before the game Ben Roethlisberger is arrested for sexual assault. The Steelers dispatch their private jet to Hattiesburg, Mississippi and convince Brett Favre to come out of retirement for one last game: Super Bowl XLVI. The game is tied in the final seconds. Favre rolls right under pressure and throws the ball across his body. The pass threads the needle between two defenders and is caught by Heath Miller who lumbers into the end zone for the winning score. Favre invites the ’72 Dolphins out to midfield and Don Shula offers Favre the honor of popping the cork on their celebratory bottle of champagne.

How would you like to see the Packers' season end?
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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Nihilist Football Picks: Pro Week 12/College Week 13

Another week of 2-1 on both college and pro picks leaves me at 23-13 in college games and 17-16 in the pros. Since there are three Thanksgiving games, I'll pick them this week. We're all sick of the Vikings anyway.

Pittsburgh +10 1/2 at West Virginia
Illinois -12 1/2 at Minnesota
Stanford -7 vs Notre Dame

Detroit +6 vs Green Bay
Miami +9 at Dallas
San Francisco +4 at Baltimore

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Nihilist Football Picks: Pro Week 11/College Week 12

Last week was tough. I went 1-2 in both college and pro games, with only the Irish and the Vikings doing the right thing for me. I now stand at 21-12 for college and 15-15 for the pros. I like a lot of road teams this week:

Boston College +24 1/2 at Notre Dame
Minnesota +15 1/2 at Northwestern
Wisconsin -13 1/2 at Illinois

Raiders pick at Vikings
Jaguars pick at Browns
Bears -4 vs Chargers

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Nihilist Football Picks: Pro Week 10/College Week 11

After another week of 2-1 in both the pros and college I stand at 20-10 for college games and 14-13 for pro games. This week appears tougher than usual, so I might as well pick a lot of games from teams that play in the local divisions:

Notre Dame -19 vs Maryland in Washington, DC
Minnesota +28 1/2 vs Wisconsin
Ohio State -7 1/2 at Purdue

Packers -15 1/2 vs Vikings
Lions +1 at Bears
Ravens -8 1/2 at Seahawks

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Nihilist Football Picks: Pro Week 9/College Week 10

Last week was another good one, going 2-1 in both college and pro, leaving me with an 18-9 overall college record and a 12-12 overall pro record.

This week I've got some strong feelings about some large spreads:

Notre Dame -13 1/2 at Wake Forest
Minnesota +28 1/2 at Michigan State
Souther Cal -22 1/2 at Colorado

Seahawks +14 at Cowboys
Giants +10 at Patriots
Raiders -8 1/2 vs Broncos