Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Top 11 Reasons To Write-In Captain Ed For Mayor Of Eagan

Captain Ed is running a write in campaign for Mayor of Eagan. Here are the top 11 reasons he deserves your vote:

11. He will insist that Inver Grove Heights and Apple Valley give Eagan lebensraum

10. After Canada, Eagan next on his list of governments to bring down

9. A nautical man is needed to shore up the cities defenses along the Minnesota River

8. Captain Fishsticks doesn't live in Eagan and is therefore ineligible

7. Spellbinding live blogs of City Council meetings

6. Has promised to enact strict BO-concentration regulations in Eagan radio studios

5. If he fails, hey, it's only Eagan

4. It would be a great stepping stone to a really good government office, like Soil and Water Commissioner

3. Eagan will receive more Instapundit links

2. Ed's steady-handed normalcy is needed now more than ever in the wake of the Reese Witherspoon-Ryan Phillipe break-up

1. Promises to govern like he blogs - without pants!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Top 11 Ways The Dixie Chicks Have Been Oppressed

Saturday I had the pleasure of sitting in with Brian "St. Paul" Ward and John Hinderacker on the Northern Alliance Radio Network. The Dixie Chicks were a topic of conversation, as they are promoting a new movie, "Shut Up and Sing," which opens this week in theaters. Of course, they are claiming this movie documents all the oppression they face for speaking out against Emperor Bush. Here are the top 11 ways they are being oppressed:

11. Good bands and one-hit wonders alike wouldn't let them cover any quality tunes, so they were stuck recording Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide."

10. Disenfranchised as voters, as George Bush was re-elected over their objections.

9. Red Cross refused to accept their offer of a $1 million donation.

8. Never inducted into the country music hall of fame.

7. Forced to endure Learned Foot's posting on their blog.

6. NBC refused to run an ad for their movie.

5. Entertainment Weekly forced them to cover their titties when they appeared "nude" on the cover.

4. Weren't invited to perform as guests in Hayseed Dixie's album, "A Hillbilly Tribute to AC/DC."

3. Almost never receive radio airplay outside of 1,000 country music stations.

2. In an interview with Howard Stern, he refused to include them his perverted sexual fantasies.

1. Wikipedia entry on them references the fact that some men find Natalie Maines to be a bit chunky.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Top 11 Ways Democrats Will Spin James Webb’ Literary Work

The novel written by Virginia Democratic Senate candidate James Webb contains a graphic description of a sexual act between a man and a boy. Here are the top 11 ways that Webb and the Democrats are or will attempt to spin this:

11. He was still a Republican when he wrote that novel

10. Search through every word of every one of his novels and you won’t find the word “M*caca”

9. According to Bill Clinton, that isn’t even a sex act

8. At least he didn’t IM the novel to Congressional Pages

7. Gary Glitter thought that it was great art

6. His publisher wanted him to tap the virtually untouched NAMBLA market

5. There are all kinds of scenes like this in Shakespeare

4. A popular pop singer has optioned the film rights, so it can’t be too out of the mainstream

3. It’s not hypocritical for a Democrat to be a disgusting pervert

2. It’s Bush’s fault!

1. Lynne Cheney’s children’s books are much more perverted – if you decode her codewords

Friday, October 27, 2006

Top 11 Songs To Be Featured In The Next Democrat/Michael J. Fox Commercial

11. Shake Your Money Maker
10. Shake, Rattle and Roll
09. The Hippy Hippy Shake
08. Shake For Me
07. (Shake, Shake, Shake)Shake Your Booty
06. Shake It Up
05. Let's Shake Again (Like We Did Last Summer)
04. Standing On Shaky Ground
03. Earthquake Shake
02. Shake Me
01. Rattlesnake Shake

Monday, October 23, 2006

Bachmann-Wetterling Debate Turns Ugly

Do you get the feeling that these gals just don't like each other? Brief video here (a must see).

Saturday, October 21, 2006

More An Annoyance Than An Honor

I have been elected Soil and Water Commissioner of the MOB as a result of doing a poorer job of running an ineffective campaign than Chad the Elder. My opponents in the next election will be able to make an issue of the fact that I missed all of the commission meetings.

Your Nietzsche Leader

I often fret that we at NIGP aren't displaying enough nihilism. So I was thrilled to stumble across this link. It is a site dedicated to both philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche and the syrupy cartoon "The Family Circus."

The Nietzsche Family Circus pairs a randomized Family Circus cartoon with a randomized Friedrich Nietzsche quote.

You can refresh the page to get newly generated random combinations. This one is my favorite, as Family Circus aficionados know well that Dolly always has something cute to say:

One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Jim Klobuchar’s Super Strib Fans

[The Super Strib Fans are gathered around a table in the cafeteria of the Minneapolis StarTribune]

Jim Klobuchar:
Good afternoon, my friends, and welcome to “Jim Klobuchar’s Super Strib Fans”. I’m Jim Klobuchar and with me as always are the Super Strib Fans: Jim Boyd … Nick Coleman … Kate Parry … and The Old Scout.

Super Strib Fans:
Hey, Jim

The Old Scout:
Yo, wassup, dawg?

Jim Klobuchar:
Aight, here we are coming to you from Minneapolis, Minnesota, the heart of DFL country and the home, of course, to a certain newspaper which has carved out a spot on the Mt. Rushmore of journalistic greatness. That newspaper, which is known the world over as … Da Strib!

Super Strib Fans:
Da Strib! Da Strib!

Jim Klobuchar:
Okay, as you all know, we have an election coming up. How about some predictions on what the final Minnesota Poll will say in the U.S. Senate race.

Kate Parry:
Why are we predicting the results of the poll and not the election?

Jim Boyd:
Are you suggesting that they’ll be different?

Kate Parry:
Oh, you mean the Rod Daves Minnesota Poll? If anything the Minnesota Poll will be more accurate than the election because the Republicans can’t cheat on the Minnesota Poll.

Jim Klobuchar:
Final Minnesota Poll, Kennedy or Amy. Your predictions?

Nick Coleman:
Da Strib’s Amy 84, Kennedy 8

Kate Parry:
Da Strib 92, Kennedy 2 !! Da Strib! Da Strib!

Jim Boyd:
Da Strib’s Amy 105, bad Kennedy -3

Kate Parry:

Jim Boyd:
Hey, Rod Daves will find a way!

Super Strib Fans:
Da Strib!! Da Strib!!

Jim Klobuchar:
Old Scout, how do you see it?

The Old Scout:
Da Strib 78, Kennedizza 20

Jim Boyd:
What? Is that supposed to be a joke, funny boy?

The Old Scout:
Da sizzle ofa kizzle Kennedy izza grizza closa. He’ll make it a race-zilla. Dats how I see it dawg.

Jim Klobuchar:
Calm down everybody, he sees a close race. That’s his prerogative. Now gentlemen, let me ask you this …

Kate Parry:
I’m not a gentleman, I’m a woman.

Nick Coleman:
Are you contradicting again Parry?

Kate Parry:
Oh, no. I know that you know stuff. Good job, Klowby!

Jim Klobuchar:
Now gentleman, let me ask you this: Who would win, the Strib or a class five tornado?

The Old Scout:
Yo, class five? Da Tornado, but it would be close

Kate Parry:
I would go with the tornado too!

Jim Klobuchar:
But what, if Mark Dayton warned da Strib about the tornado?

The Old Scout:
Da Strib!

Jim Boyd:
Da Strib!

Kate Parry:
Da Strib!

Nick Coleman:
Da Strib!

Jim Klobuchar:
Well, I see we’re out of time. Now remember to tune in next week when we’ll discuss T-Paw versus da Strib for Governor. Aight, Strib vs. Meryl Streep. Who would win the Academy Award for best actress, Strib or Streep?

Super Strib Fans:
Da Strib! Da Strib! Da Strib!

Bono is a rich man, he wears a rich man's cloak

Nobel Peace Prize nominee Paul Hewson, aka Bono, is in the news again. Is he instructing us greedy first world conservatives of our duty to our brothers and sisters in Africa? Well, actually, yes. But today he's also in the news for a surprising reason. Bono recently endorsed David Strom's ideology by suggesting that high tax rates are an affront to human dignity every bit as offensive as third world poverty.

Now I can't find a quote to back this up. However, I remember someone once telling me that actions speak louder than words:

The rocker and his U2 band have moved their business empire from Ireland to Holland to avoid paying the new high tax rates that have been imposed by the Irish government on music royalties.

Not surprisingly, Bono's greed is seen by some as hypocritical. Our first example is NewsMax commentator James Hirsen:

The problem is that this is the same guy who has consistently urged the U.S. government to use its own citizens' tax dollars to finance other nations' social programs and forgive Third World countries' debts.


British television talk show host Graham Norton launched a harangue against the Irish rocker for his apparent hypocrisy." People like Bono really annoy me," Norton said. "He goes to hell and back to avoid paying tax. He has a special accountant. He works out Irish tax loopholes. And then he's asking me to buy a well for an African village."

Don't blame Bono for being a hypocrite. He likes hearing what a great humanitarian he is. And if he can command hundreds of dollars for a concert ticket on the free market (minimum price for U2's Aloha Stadium concert was $60 for general admission nosebleeds, scalpers wanted more than double face value), then he is worth what he gets.

However, he might just want to think twice about preaching to governments about how they should spend the tax revenues they obtain from the folks who, unlike Bono, aren't rich enough to avoid paying their taxes.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Light Blogging

My blogging will be light. I have to go out shopping for dress shoes, long pants, and non-Hawaiian shirts so that I can go to Mass on Sunday.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Media Goes To The Wells To Make Up A Story

Our friends in the media get routinely beaten up about errant reporting. BBC News has found a way to publish complete crap and conjecture without worrying about appearing on a NARN segment of "This Week In Gatekeeping." One of the great things about this hypothesis is none of us will ever be around by the time it is conclusively proven wrong (kind of like global warming):

Humanity may split into two sub-species in 100,000 years' time as predicted by HG Wells, an expert has said. Evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics expects a genetic upper class and a dim-witted underclass to emerge. The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.

I wonder what the beautiful people will look like?

. . . men will exhibit symmetrical facial features, look athletic, and have squarer jaws, deeper voices and bigger penises.

Sweet. You know what they say about those deep voiced guys. Meanwhile, women will look like this:

Women, on the other hand, will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features, he adds. Racial differences will be ironed out by interbreeding, producing a uniform race of coffee-coloured people.

OK, it probably isn't fair to suggest that liberals will evolve into ugly trolls while conservatives will be sexy. After all, Jessica Alba has been around Hollywood for long enough to become a tree-hugging bleeding heart. So in the interest of "fairness," here's a local conservative who makes the morlocks look good:

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Top 11 Things That I Don't Want To See At Mass*

*All are things that I have witnessed in the last few years

11. Baseball caps--Is it asking too much to comb your hair for the Lord?

10. Sneakers--This is a church not a gym

9. Shorts--Put some pants on pal

8. Mini-skirts--Get that behind behind me Satan!

7. Sandals on men--I know Jesus wore 'em but this is 21st century America not 1st century Israel hippie

6. Bare mid-riffs--Skin should not be in

5. T-shirts with logos/slogans--I'm sure the Staind concert was great dude, but I don't need to know

4. Tank tops--When did you stop beating your wife?

3. Athletic jerseys--God doesn't care how the Vikings do on Sunday

2. Flip-flops--Nothing says casual disdain like a pair of flip-flops

1. Cleavage--Normally I've very pro-cleavage (just a peek--it's like looking at the sun), but there is a time and place for everything and church is not a place for displaying your wares ladies

An Imaginary Debate: Carmen Electra and Albert Einstein on Quantum Mechanics

Katie from Yucky Salad With Bones points us to this quote from Carmen Electra in US Weekly (I really must start subscribing):

“I'm really into quantum physics. Some of my friends are into it, some of them aren't, so I'm trying to get them excited about discovering all these interesting things about thoughts and the power of thoughts. It gives me chills thinking about it. It's fun.”

Carmen’s evangelical enthusiasm for quantum mechanics leads one to wonder how a debate between her an Albert Einstein (who was skeptical of quantum mechanics) might have gone.

Welcome to the Electra/Einstein debate on quantum mechanics. Ms. Electra, Dr. Einstein, your opening statement please.

I get chills thinking about quantum physics! It’s fun!

I do agree that quantum mechanics is an internally consistent theory that has made successful predictions and I admit that the Feynman-Wheeler path integral formulation does appeal from a principle of least action perspective. However, let's consider the paradox I suggested with Podolsky and Rosen ...

I get excited about all these interesting things about thoughts and the power of thoughts.

I think you misunderstand. Quantum mechanics states that by observing an event, you collapse the wave function for that event. That is, you find out which of the possible states of a system that the system is actually in. You don’t actually have any control over which state the system actually ends up in – the probability for ending in each state is determined by solving the Schrödinger equation for that system.

Some of my friends are into it, some of them aren't, so I'm trying to get them excited about discovering all these interesting things about thoughts and the power of thoughts.

No, quantum mechanics doesn’t work that way! It DOES NOT say that you can control events just by the POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS …

[Carmen Electra removes all of her clothes]

Oh, my God, I CAN control events just with the power of my thoughts!

No, she takes her clothes off during every debate.

This debate is over!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Top 11 Songs from Wellstone! the Musical

You've read the book, you've seen the movie, you've attended the camp, we hope you're not the guy who taught at the school ... and now it's time to see the musical.

Yes, Wellstone! the Musical has opened to predictably rave reviews among the local thespian set. Not surprising, since I believe Wellstone! advocated for marriage rights for thespians. If you count your self among that crowd and flock down to the Great American History Theater to see St. Paul Wellstone in all his gauzy, hagiographied glory, here are the top 11 songs you might be tapping your toes to:

11) Be the Change*

10) Let Us Rise Up and Sing*

9) Hard Times Coming Our Way*

8) There's No Ism Like Socialism

7) Tax-a-lot!

6) I'm Dreaming of a Rainbow Holiday Season

5) To Appease the Impossible Appeasement

4) Whatever Labor Wants, Labor Gets

3) One (Vote against 99)

2) I'm Gonna Wash That Coleman Right Out of My Hair

1) I Could Have Redistributed Wealth All Night

*actual songs

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Top 11 Reasons Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid Didn’t File Financial Disclosure Reports On a Las Vegas Land Deal That Made Him $1.1 Million

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) has gotten himself into a little bit of a pickle involving his apparent failure to file required financial disclosure documents. But don’t worry, he has plenty of excuses. Here are the top 11:

11. Thought “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” applied to Senate Ethics rules

10. His “associates” don’t care to see their names splashed around in government documents, if you know what I mean

9. Ethics rules are only for Republicans because they’re the greedy evil ones

8. Was too busy rooting gay Republican child molesters out of Congress to be bothered with trivial paperwork

7. It was for the children!

6. Was too busy memorizing the list of gay Republican staffers on Capitol Hill so he wouldn’t accidentally turn his back to any of them

5. Was arranging for a new Patty Wetterling ad denouncing the administrators of the Paul and Shelia Wellstone Elementary School

4. What about Jack Abramoff?

3. Didn’t think a measly $1.1 million was worth reproting

2. They do this kind of thing all the time in New Jersey

1. Haven’t you seen Godfather II?

Top 11 Reasons That Comparing Jimmy Carter To Neville Chamberlain Is An Insult To Chamberlain

11. Chamberlain only appeased a couple of dictators as opposed to dozens

10. Chamberlain never lost a fight to a rabbit

9. Chamberlain wasn't a peanut farmer

8. Chamberlain didn’t enable Hitler to build atomic weapons

7. Chamberlain's accent didn't make him sound like an effeminate redneck

6. Chamberlain had the good taste to die shortly after leaving office, instead of disgracing himself further

5. Chamberlain didn’t go to foreign countries and rip Churchill

4. Chamberlain never gave away the Suez Canal

3. In return for betraying Western Civilization, at least Chamberlain got a nifty piece of paper, far more than Jimmy Carter ever got

2. At least Chamberlain had the integrity to recognize that he had been snookered in later years

1. Chamberlain lusted like a man - in his trousers!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Top 11 Other Surprising Studies in the Lancet

The New York Times reports that a study in the British medical journal Lancet estimates that more than 600,000 civilians have been killed by violence in Iraq since the start of the war. What the New York Times doesn’t tell you is that the same issue of Lancet contains some other surprising studies. Here are the top 11:

11. There actually were one million men at the one million man march

10. Total number of Iraqis killed by Saddam Hussein: 3

9. Kate Moss weighs 796 pounds

8. The economy was actually good during the Carter Administration

7. Number of Air America listeners: four bazillion

6. Alec Baldwin’s IQ is over 50

5. The pentagon’s estimates of Viet Cong casualties during the Vietnam War was actually right on

4. Brokeback Mountain is the highest grossing movie of all time

3. Al Franken really is funny

2. The nuclear bomb tested by North Korea was 250 Megatons and nearly split the Earth in two

1. Paris Hilton is a virgin

Top 11 Reasons That Comparing Bush To Hitler Is An Insult To Hitler

"Hitler had a good 20 to 30 IQ points on Bush so comparing Bush to Hitler would in many ways be an insult to Hitler."
-University of Wisconsin professor Kevin Barrett

11. Hitler supported scientific research

10. Hitler was able to use diplomacy to negotiate peace treaties with his enemies

9. Hitler invested in alternative energy

8. Hitler invested to improve his country's infrastructure

7. Hitler tried to ease the plight of the Palestinian people

6. Hitler used a brush to paint while Bush clears brush

5. Hitler was a teetotaler and certainly never did cocaine

4. Hitler actually saw combat and was wounded in action

3. Hitler was a much better public speaker

2. The French cooperated with Hitler

1. With literally HALF the cahones of Bush, Hitler invaded four times as many countries

Another Republican Sex Scandal

Mary Kiffmeyer is sure a boring secretary of state.

Over in Wisconsin, Republican SOS candidate Sandy Sullivan just published a tell-all book titled, "Green Bay Love Stories and Other Affairs." In the book she brags about being a skank who liked to bang the jocks. One pearl of wisdom from Sandy:

Remember, the '60s was the `dawning of the Age of Aquarius' and some women ... were thrilled to experience this brave, new freedom, and celebrate our sexuality ... and the football players loved it!

I liked my Republican party a lot better when it was just a bunch of mean old men who hated paying taxes.

For those of you who want a more family friendly book on the off-field action of the NFL, try Mark Yost's "Tailgating, Sacks and Salary Caps."

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Rock Solid in the Blogosphere for Summer 2006

I’ve been putting it off for as long as possible, but the time has come to name the Rock Solid in the Blogosphere winner for the Summer of 2006.

But first, let’s pause to thank our outgoing winner: Mary Katharine Ham. M-Kat has thrived since leaving Hugh Hewitt’s nest and has had a great three-month reign. She has come into her own blogging at townhall and especially in her videos at hotair. If I had one complaint, it would be that she hasn’t done more parodies of “The View” with Michelle Malkin.

Sigh, now I suppose we must move on and declare a new winner. So, the Summer 2006 winner of the award that Hugh Hewitt has called a “high honor and great distinction” goes to ... John Hinderaker.

This may come as a surprise to those who have followed our sometimes bitter rivalry/competition with Power Line, but the fact of the matter is that we have always admired their work. Yes, we have been jealous of there recognition by liberal magazines like Time and Playboy and they were no doubt jealous that we were named right-wing blog of the year by City Pages, but when you get right down to it, both of our blogs are pretty awesome.

True, when perusing Power Line, one has to be careful to not accidentally read one of Paul Mirengoff’s Everton posts (all reasonable British Premier League Football fans are for Arsenal, of course). But, John Hinderaker makes it worth the risk, especially during pageant season.

Nowhere is his expertise more evident than in his excellent coverage of beauty pageants, most recently, the Miss World competition, where he notes the influence of reality TV on the proceedings. Although he failed to mention the eventual winner in his Miss World preview posts, one is still drawn to them again and again.

Here is a sampling of the best of Hinderaker:

Miss World 2006: preview, the climax approaches, final
Miss Universe 2006: preview 1, preview 2, handicapping, final
Miss America 2006: final
Miss Universe 2005: preview (warning: no pictures), handicapping, final, outrage
Miss Universe 2004: preview, handicapping, live-blog,
Miss World 2004: approaching climax, preview, final
Miss Argentina 2004: final
Miss USA 2004: preview 1
Miss World 2003: prelims 1, prelims 2, handicapping, final
Miss America 2003: final
Miss World 2002: controversy (warning: no pictures), final (warning: no pictures)

The other worthy nominees were:

Kevin “It’s an honor just to be nominated” Ecker

Katie from Yucky Salad with Bones who was the front runner until she inexplicably declared “The Breakfast Club” to be the best High School movie of all time

Dean Barnett, who once again proves that Hugh Hewitt is better at choosing co-bloggers than sports teams

And, the go-to guy for election and political analysis, Michael Barone.

Congratulations, John Hinderaker, on joining the elite club of Rock Solid in Blogosphere winners. Enjoy your reign.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Top 11 Democratic Reponses To The North Korean Atomic Bomb Test

11. “Karl Rove engineered this to distract from the Foley scandal.”

10. “There was no nuclear test; Dick Cheney planted the TNT – just like he did on 9-11.”

9. “This is what happens when you fail to follow the wisdom Clinton and Carter.”

8. “At least North Korea isn’t covering up inappropriate Instant Messages to pages.”

6. “There was no test. The seismic activity coincided with Ted Kennedy’s and Dennis Hastert’s annual sumo wrestling match.”

7. “The seismic activity was caused by Global Warming”

5. “Yeah, yeah, nuke tests are bad. Now let’s move on to something important, like finding a way to protect our children from gay Republican Congressmen.”

4. “I demand a full investigation into whether Foley IM’d Kim Jong Il.”

3. “If this keeps us from retaking the House and Senate, Kim Jong Il will have finally gone too far!”

2. “If we would have set up midnight basketball leagues in North Korea, their scientists would have had something to do besides build nukes.”

1. “It’s the Foley scandal, stupid!”

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Why Does Snoop Dogg Carry An Umbrella?

For drizzle.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Top 11 Things That Atomizer Could Have Bought Instead Of Twins Playoff Tickets

By now, you've all probably heard that the "Domefield advantage" supposedly enjoyed by the Twins has been anything but in recent years during the playoffs. In fact, with the game one and game two losses to Oakland, the Twins have now lost seven straight playoff games at home dating back to game two of the 2002 ALCS.

One of our acquaintances from the world of blogging, Atomizer from the deservedly obscure blog "Fraters Libertas," has had the misfortune of having personally attended six of these games. We were discussing this around the NIGP water cooler the other day and wondering how much the poor sap had laid out over the years to see his team in the playoffs only to be end up bitter and disappointed.

We conservatively estimate that the cost was somewher around $650 and present the Top 11 Things That Atomizer Could Have Bought Instead Of Twins Playoff Tickets:

11. Sixteen 1.75 liter bottles of Bombay Sapphire

10. Admission to every town ball game in Red Wing for three years

9. Sixty-five Cobb salads at Keegan's ($9.95 each)

8. Eight months of premium HD cable package so he can watch movies instead of baseball

7. Fifty-four twelve-packs of Summit

6. Eighty-three copies of Noam Chomsky's Hegemony or Survival: America's Quest for Global Dominance

5. 144 packs of cigarettes (at $4.50 a pack)

4. 13,000 paper bags to wear over his head

3. $650 worth of stocks (with a 12% annual return--admittedly very good--he could have approximately $20,000 in 30 years)

2. 656 punk songs from I-Tunes (99 cents each)

1. A trip to Oakland to see the Twins actually win a playoff game

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Top 11 Magazines More Interesting Than The Claremont Review of Books

Powerline is trumpeting the arrival of another issue of the CRB. As a former subscriber, it's hard to describe just how dry, stilted, academic, esoteric, wooden and just downright dull this magazine is. Only a man of Mitch Berg's vast intelligence and background understands what unexplained references to "Clausewitz" mean.

So, I have come up with a list of Top 11 magazines I'd rather read. I didn't make these up, btw. They are all real.

11. American Cake Decorating

10. American Farriers Journal

09. Back In The Bronx

08. Birder's World

07. Fabricating and Metalworking News

06. Ferrets

05. Jewish Woman

04. Newsweek

03. Rental Product News

02. Global Logistics and Supply Chain Strategies

01. Hooked on Crochet!

Top 11 Upcoming Patty Wetterling Accusations

11. House Republicans knew that Tori Hunter couldn't make the diving catch on Mark Kotsay's inside the park home run, but failed to warn Tori to refrain from diving and hold Kotsay to a single

10. Norm Coleman's dad made a pass at her

9. Bush has engineered falling oil prices as revenge against Hugo Chavez and to hurt the poor in Venezuela

8. Karl Rove intentionally leaked the Foley IMs to distract voters from the fact that he intentionally dynamited the Twin Towers

7. Dennis Hastert is hiding the fact that Michelle Bachman is actually a man

6. The Foley IMs were actually discovered while hacking into Mark Kennedy's campaign computer for Amy Klobuchar

5. Tim Pawlenty convinced Phil Kessel to leave the Gophers and sign with the Boston Bruins

4. Many Republican Members of Congress have gay employees – and there IS something wrong with that

3. Eric Black is the nicest, smartest, sexiest, and best reporter in the whole wide world

2. Donald Rumsfeld arranged for a former Miss U.S.A. to pop Paris Hilton in the kisser

1. Osama Bin Laden is hiding in Denny Hastert's belly

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Top 11 Causes of Congressman Foley's Disgusting Actions

11. Too many Twinkies

10. Watched the full hour of Jim McGreevey on Oprah

9. Video games

8. Listened to too much Judas Priest

7. The illegal Israeli occupation of Palestine

6. Fluoridation

5. Steroids

4. His locker was next to Barney Frank in the Congressional steam room

3. The Catholic Church

2. George W. Bush

1. Satan

Monday, October 02, 2006

Top 11 Questions That Congressman Mark Foley Asked Teenage Boys In E-mails & Instant Messages

11. You ever seen a grown man naked?

10. Do I make you a little horny?*

9. Have you ever caught the Mayor of Minneapolis jumping off a float at a parade?

8. You in your boxers, too?*

7. Have you ever worked for anyone living in Barney Frank's apartment?

6. Can you send me a picture?*

5. Do you like movies with gladiators in them?

4. Where do you unload it?*

3. Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?

2. Completely naked?*

1. Do you think I look like a mature George Michael?

(*Questions actually asked by Foley.)

NIHILIST ADDS: Would you like in a Dirty Sanchez?

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Top 11 List Archive (October 2006 - )

Top 11 List Archive

(October 2006 - )

NIGEL TUFNEL: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
MARTY DIBERGI: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
MARTY DIBERGI: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
NIGEL TUFNEL: Well, it's one louder, isn't it?

March 2009

Top 11 Episodes of Kids Shows That I'd Like To See (3/01/09)

February 2009

Top 11 Names for recovery.gov that Joe Biden Would Find Easier to Remember (2/26/09)

Top 11 Promises President Obama Will Make In His Next Speech To Congress (2/26/09)

Top 11 Reasons Barack Obama Returned the Bust of Winston Churchill to England (2/18/09)

Top 11 Real Reasons Chad the Elder Is Ending His Regular Participation With the First Team of the Northern Alliance Radio Network (2/12/09)

Top 11 Surprises in Store for the Next Group to See Bill Gates Speak (2/05/09)

Top 11 Network Television Shows That I Have Never Watched An Entire Episode Of Or Have Any Desire Ever To (2/02/09)

Top 11 Obama Enticements to Congressional Republicans (2/01/09)

January 2009

Top 11 Best Names For The New King Banaian Radio Show (1/12/09)

Top 11 Reasons Nick Coleman Rejected the Star Tribune Buyout (1/07/09)

December 2008

Top 11 Reasons Congress Gave Itself A Raise (12/22/08)

Top 11 Career Opportunities for Nick Coleman After Losing His Column (12/16/08)

Top 11 Things American Journalists Would Throw At President Bush If Given The Opportunity (12/15/08)

You Got Your Top 11 List In My Separated At Birth (12/14/08)

Top 11 Organizations Impacted By Employees Calling In "Gay" Yesterday (12/11/08)

Top 11 Conditions Congress Has Attached to the Bail Out Of the Big Three Automakers (12/10/08)

Top 11 Reasons That Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich Considered Appointing Himself To Fill Obama's US Senate Seat (12/09/08)

Top 11 Things That Governor Pawlenty Will Bring Up When He Meets With Barack Obama Today (12/02/08)

November 2008

Top 11 Minnesota Arts Grant Applications by Nihilist in Golf Pants Contributors (11/30/08)

Top 11 Jobs For Mark Ritchie After His Stint As Minnesota Secretary of State (11/18/08)

Top 11 Jobs For Mark Ritchie After His Stint As Minnesota Secretary of State (11/18/08)

Top 11 Events on the Power Line Cruise (11/14/08)

Other Than Discovering They Were Simply Paid Shills For The Democrats, Top 11 Revelations That Have Shocked Minnesota Independent Reporters This Week (11/13/08)

Top 11 Changes At The White House Once the Obama's Move In (11/11/08)

Top 11 Possible Explanations for why ALL of the Corrections to the Coleman-Franken Vote Totals Favor Franken (11/10/08)

Top 11 Things Barack Obama Supporters Did After Voting Today (11/04/08)

Top 11 Things John McCain Supporters Did After Voting Today (11/04/08)

October 2008

Top 11 Things Comparable To Being Named "Worst Person In The World" By Keith Olbermann (10/30/08)

Top 11 More Appropriate Names For The University Of Denver's Sports Teams Now That They've Decided Not To Bring Back Their Pioneer Mascot (10/22/08)

Top 11 Things Republicans Really Are Raging About (10/13/08)

Top 11 Titles to Grammy Winning Polka Albums (10/08/08)

Besides Not Being Aware That Bill Ayers Was An Unrepentant Terrorist, Top 11 Other Things Barack Obama Didn't Know About People From Chicago (10/07/08)

Top 11 Things That Will Change in the Post 2008 Economy (10/02/08)

Top 11 Other Historical Comparisons That Joe Biden Will Be Making At Tonight's Debate (10/02/08)

September 2008

Top 11 Things That Joe Biden Did For The Community In Lieu of Charitable Giving (9/23/09)

Top 11 Things Dave Thune Might Have Said In His Email (9/11/08)

Top 11 Less Strenuous Jobs For Tavaris Jackson (9/09/08)

Top 11 Upcoming Smears On Sarah Palin (9/07/08)

Top 11 Thoughts John Hinderaker Shared with the Code Pink Protestors (9/05/08)

Top 11 Reasons Sisyphus Isn't In This Picture (9/04/08)

August 2008

Top 11 Names Sarah Palin Almost Gave Her Children (8/31/08)

Top 11 Actual Victims Mentioned By Barack Obama in his Acceptance Speech (8/28/08)

Top 11 Predicted Americans Barack Obama Will Reference He Met with While on the Campaign Trail (8/27/08)

Top 11 Laugh Lines In Hillary's Speech Last Night (8/27/08)

Top 11 Things Joe Biden Contributes To Obama Campaign (8/25/08)

Only 11 Barack Obama Running Mates that Would Have Made the Contributors to This Blog Even More Ecstatic (8/24/08)

Top 11 Suggested Replacements for Snot (8/21/08)

Top 11 Reasons The Nihilist In Golf Pants Was Denied Access to the Republican National Convention (8/19/08)

Top 11 Other Things That Are Above Barack Obama's Pay Grade (8/18/08)

Top 11 Things That The Minnesota Independent's Molly Priesmeyer Will Be Covering Next In Her Role As Consumer Affairs Reporter (8/16/08)

Top 11 Other Insensitive Things Spanish Olympic Basketball Players Did In Photos (8/15/08)

Top 11 John Edwards Explanations for his Affair with Rielle Hunter (8/08/08)

Top 11 Barack Obama Comments During His Breakfast Stop at the Copper Dome in St. Paul (8/07/08)

Top 11 Reasons Favre Would Rather Play In New York Than Green Bay (8/07/08)

Top 11 Obama Celebrity Fundraisers After the George Clooney Fundraiser in Geneva, Switzerland (8/06/08)

Top 11 Reasons For Morgan Freeman's Auto Accident (8/05/08)

Top 11 Real Reasons The GOP Chose The Twin Cities For The 2008 National Convention (8/04/08)

Top 11 Arguments In Favor Of Term Limits (8/03/08)

July 2008

Top 11 Reasons the New York Times Rejected John McCain’s Op-Ed (7/24/08)

Top 11 New Attractions At Valleyfair (7/22/08)

Top 11 Things Overheard On Barack Obama’s World Tour (7/21/08)

Top 11 Odors Nick Coleman's Big Smeller Picked Up DT (7/17/08)

Top 11 Suggestions for the University of Minnesota Morris Mascot (7/15/08)

Top 11 Plans Congress has for Increasing its Approval Rating (7/09/08)

Top 11 Quotes From The White House Biography Of Italian Premier Berlusconi (7/08/08)

Top 11 Barack Obama Campaign Slogans (7/06/08)

June 2008

Top 11 Guitar Songs (6/22/08)

Top 11 Indications That Barak Obama Doesn't "Keep It Real" (6/18/08)

Top 17 Reasons Barack Obama Should Select Walter Mondale as His Running Mate (6/11/08)

Top 11 Things Al Franken Did After Getting The DFL Senate Endorsement (6/09/08)

Top 11 Ways Obama and Clinton Intend to Unify the Democratic Party (6/06/08)

May 2008

Top 11 Revelations in Scott McClellan’s New Book (5/28/08)

Top 11 Reasons Governor Pawlenty's Wife Won't Give Him Any (5/13/08)

Top 11 Reasons Minneapolis Mayor RT Rybak Didn't Pay His Speeding Ticket Fine & Had His License Suspended (5/09/08)

Top 11 Ideas to Get the Star Tribune Out of Bankruptcy (5/08/08)

April 2008

Top 11 Upcoming Al Franken Revelations (4/30/08)

Top 11 Mariah Carey Physics Albums (4/27/08)

Top 11 Suggested Other Names for the Greedy Developer In Shark Swarm (4/23/08)

Top 11 Debate Questions Barack Obama Might Not Have Whined About (4/18/08)

Top 11 Reasons Barak Obama Won't Wear An American Flag Lapel Pin (4/17/08)

Top 11 Surprises in Bill and Hillary’s Tax Returns (4/07/08)

Top 11 Things Hillary Clinton has in Common with Rocky (4/01/08)

March 2008

Top 11 Distant Relatives of Hillary Clinton (3/25/08)

Top 11 Highlights of Barak Obama's Speech On "Race In America" (3/18/08)

Top 11 Reasons The Jack Pine Community Center Is Closing Down (3/17/08)

Barak Obama's Pastor's Top 11 Songs (3/13/08)

Top 11 Reasons Mike Ciresi Dropped Out of the Senate Race (3/11/08)

Top 11 Reasons Elliot Spitzer Patronized High-End Prostitutes (3/10/08)

Top 11 Reasons Al Franken Failed to Pay Workers Comp for his Campaign Employees (3/05/08)

Top 11 Reasons That Bret Favre Retired (3/04/08)

February 2008

Top 11 Reasons Nihilist in Golf Pants is the Best Blog to Replace Captain’s Quarters in the Northern Alliance (2/26/08)

Top 11 Plans Fidel Castro has for Retirement (2/19/08)

Top 11 Reasons Michelle Obama Hasn’t Been Proud of Her Country until Recently (2/19/08)

Top 11 Hyperbolic Doomsday Predictions (2/17/08)

Top 11 Comments Overheard at the Westminster Kennel Club when the Beagle “Uno” won Best in Show (2/13/08)

Top 11 Reasons Hillary Fired Campaign Manager Patti Solis Doyle (2/11/08)

Top 11 Reasons Mitt Romney Dropped Out Of The Race (2/07/08)

Top 11 Reasons Mitt Romney Won The Minnesota GOP Caucuses (2/06/08)

Top 11 New Nicknames for the University of North Dakota (2/05/08)

Top 11 Reasons The Giants Upset The Patriots (2/05/08)

Top 11 Obscene Gestures Made by North Dakota Hockey Coach (2/04/08)

January 2008

Top 11 Reasons The Minnesota Twins Traded Johan Santana (1/29/08)

Top 11 Reasons Ted Kennedy Endorsed Barack Obama (1/28/08)

Top 11 Reasons Heath Ledger OD’d (01/23/08)

Top 11 Reasons The Packers Lost The NFC Championship Game At Home (01/21/08)

Top 11 Reasons Why DVD of Original Sesame Street Episodes Carries an "Adults Only" Warning (01/19/08)

Top 11 Reasons Gopher Goalie Jeff Frazee Let In A Goal From 120 Feet Out At St. Cloud State On Saturday Night (01/14/08)

Top 11 Reasons Ron Paul Only Won Ten Percent Of The Vote In New Hampshire (1/10/08)

Top 11 Barack Obama Excuses for Losing the New Hampshire Primary (01/09/08)

Top 11 Indications You Live Next Door to a “Pot Palace” (01/06/08)

Top 11 Headlines That Should Have Been Written After The Iowa Caucuses (01/04/08)

Top 11 Predicted Hugh Hewitt Interpretations for Romney Coming in Second in Iowa (01/04/08)

Top 11 Hillary Clinton Excuses For Coming In Third At The Iowa Caucuses (01/04/08)

Top 11 Rhymes in Nick Coleman’s Year End Rhyming Column (01/01/08)

December 2007

Top 11 Things Troy Williamson Plans To Do In The Offseason (12/21/07)

Top 11 Things Everyone Should Know about Hillary Clinton (12/30/07)

Top 11 Causes For The Tiger Attack At The San Francisco Zoo (12/28/07)

Top 11 Reasons NY Islanders GM Garth Snow Hates Gopher Coach Don Lucia (12/22/07)

Top 11 Songs Found on Christmas Specials (12/17/07)

Top 11 Choices for Word of the Year That Are Better Than W00t (12/13/07)

Top 11 Excuses Minneapolis Mayor RT Rybak Uses To Get Out Of Lame Events (12/12/07)

Top 11 Highlights of Mitt Romney’s Mormon Speech (12/06/07)

Top 11 Names for a Teddy Bear (12/03/07)

November 2007

Top 11 Chapters Titles in Ted Kennedy’s Upcoming Autobiography (11/26/07)

Top 11 Reasons Mrs. Hulk Hogan is Divorcing Mr. Hulk Hogan (11/26/07)

Top 11 Possible Reasons Eric Black Really Wanted Rachel Paulose Fired (11/24/07)

Top 11 Questions Wolf Blitzer Can Ask Hillary Rodham Clinton to Suck Up to Her Even More in the Future (11/16/07)

Top 11 Things Wolf Blitzer Can Say to Make Hillary Rodham Clinton Cry At the Debate (11/15/07)

Top 11 Reasons Stillwater Voters Should Approve their School Levy (11/06/07)

Top 11 Pledges Hillary Made to Walter Mondale to Get His Endorsement (11/05/07)

Top 11 Songs to be Played at the Powerline Concert (11/02/07)

October 2007

Top 11 Agenda Items For the First 100 Days of the Dennis Kucinich Administration (10/31/07)

Top 11 Reasons Dick Cheney Fell Asleep During A Meeting on the California Fires (10/26/07)

Top 11 Things That SLP Residents Would Rather Have In Their Neighborhood Than An Expansion Of Holy Family Church (10/19/07)

Top 11 Titles of the Adult Film Treatment of Al Gore's Movie (10/13/07)

Top 11 Awards Al Gore Is Going To Win Next (10/12/07)

Top 11 Names for the New Party Being Considered by Some Religious Conservatives (10/08/07)

Top 11 Slogans the Baby from the MovOn.Org E-mail Would Have Preferred to Hold Up (10/04/07)

Top 11 Things President Bush Did After Vetoing Health Insurance For The Children (10/03/07)

September 2007

Top 11 Reasons That Bombed Bensonhurst (please Benson, don't hurst us!) Guy Needs To Move Back To New York (09/27/07)

Top 11 Reasons Mike Vick Failed His Drug Test (09/27/07)

Top 11 Things For Green Bay Fans To Do In The Twin Cities This Weekend (09/27/07)

Top 11 Reasons There Are No Homosexuals in Iran (09/25/07)

Top 11 Things (Besides the $70 Million) Dan Rather Is Asking For In His Lawsuit (09/24/07)

Top 11 Reasons the Sex Pistols are Reuniting (09/19/07)

Top 11 Reasons OJ Allegedly Robbed Sports Collectors (09/17/07)

Top 11 Best Named Cities in North Dakota (09/14/07)

Top 11 Reasons Twins GM Terry Ryan Decided To Step Aside (09/14/07)

Top 11 Nicknames for Having a Deserved Link Withheld by Mitch Berg. (09/12/07)

Top 11 Nicknames for Traffic Earned from a Mitch Berg Link (09/12/07)

Top 11 Features of Led Zeppelin's Reunion Tour (09/12/07)

Top 11 Other MoveOn.org Names For Generals (09/11/07)

Top 11 Most Shocking Revelations In Latest Bin Laden Tape (09/09/07)

Top 11 Reasons Larry Craig is "Reconsidering" his Decision to Resign (09/06/07)

Top 11 Reasons Michigan Lost to Appalachian State on Saturday (09/03/07)

August 2007

Top 11 Things the Editors of the New York Times Erroneously Think is in the U.S. Constitution Besides “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” (08/31/07)

Top 11 Things Sen Larry Craig Was Doing In The MSP Airport Restroom (08/28/07)

Top 11 People I Would Most Like to See Nominated for Attorney General (08/27/07)

Top 11 People I Would Most Like to See Win $314 Million in the Lottery (08/26/07)

Top 11 Reasons Some Are Upset That A Chinese Sculptor Was Selected To Design The Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial (08/26/07)

Top 11 Janeane Garofalo Lines From the Upcoming Season of 24 (8/22/07)

Top 11 Learnings From: Drunk Driving Over the Limit / Under Arrest Ad (08/21/07)

Top 11 New Advertsing Slogans For Mattel (08/16/07)

Top 11 Reason Karl Rove Left the White House (8/13/07)

Top 11 Reasons AM1280 The Patriot's Ratings Among Adults 25-54 Fell (08/09/07)

Top 11 People Really Responsible For The 35W Bridge Collapse (08//07)

Top 11 Changes Rupert Murdoch Has Planned For the Wall Street Journal (08/01/07)

July 2007

Top 11 Reasons Chief Justice Roberts Suffered A Seizure (7/30/07)

Top 11 Discoveries By Doctors During President Bush's Colonoscopy (07/24/07)

Top 11 Ways the Star Tribune is Preparing for Dick Cheney’s Two Hours as President (07//07)

Top 11 Highlights of Last Night's All-Night Slumber Party in the Senate (07/18/07)

Top 11 Off-Ice Seminars At The Boogaard’s Hockey Fighting Camp (07/17/07)

Top 11 Photos So Embarrasing That Miss New Jersey Wouldn't Release Them (07/12/07)

Top 11 Ways I Would Advise Senator David Vitter To Respond To This Frequenting Prostitutes Thing (07/11/07)

Top 11 Lesser Known Democratic Congressional Investigations (07/08/07)

Top 11 Changes Mark Yost Would Make As Commissioner of MLB (07/03/07)

Top 11 Reasons President Bush Commuted Scooter Libby’s Prison Sentence (07/02/07)

Top 11 Gifts That The Nihilist In Golf Pants Received On His 40th Birthday From Fellow Bloggers (7/02/07)

June 2007

Catch Him Now, He's Falling (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/30/07)

Top 11 Ways Anarchists Plan To Disrupt the 2008 GOP Convention In St. Paul (Sisyphus, 6/28/07)

Top 11 Reasons Michael Bloomberg Left The Republican Party (Sisyphus, 6/24/07)

Top 11 Turn-offs Missing From Dean Barclay's Match.com Profile (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/23/07))

Top 11 Turn-ons Dean Barclay Left Out of His Match.com Profile (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/23/07)

Top 11 Things Other Than "Gravitas" That Mike Hatch Brings To Blackwell Burke (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 6/22/07)

Top 11 Commandments For Driving (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/22/07)

Top 11 Reasons Amy Klobuchar Was Voted Funniest Freshman Senator (Sisyphus, 6/18/07)

Top 11 Reasons Hugh Hewitt Has Been Banned From The 2007 Minnesota State Fair (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 6/13/07)

The Presidential Candidates Comment On The Sopranos (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/11/07)

Paris Hilton’s Top 11 Complaints About Jail (Sisyphus, 6/08/07)

Top 11 Reasons Larry And Laurie David Are Separating (Nihilist in Golf Pnats, 6/06/07)

Top 11 Other Criticismns Barack Obama Has Of The Bush Administration Besides Doing Nothing to Defuse A “QUIET RIOT” Among Blacks (Sisyphus, 6/05/07)

Top 11 Theme Songs For Hillary's Presidenial Campaign (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 6/01/07)

May 2007

Top 11 Ways Power Line Celebrated Its Fifth Birthday (Sisyphus, 5/29/07)

Top 11 Things MN State Senate President James Metzen Could Have Said To Try To Get Out Of His DWI Arrest (Sisyphus, 5/25/07)

Top 11 Ways To Win Back The Wealthy To The Republican Party (Sisyphus, 5/24/07)

Top 11 Requirements of the New Immigration Bill (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 5/22/07)

Top 11 Other Evaluations Made By Jimmy Carter (Sisyphus, 5/20/07)

Top 11 Real Reasons the Star Tribune Cancelled Lileks’ Column And Reassigned Him to Cover Local Stories (Sisyphus, 5/12/07)

Top 11 Differences Between Paris Hilton and Al Capone (Sisyphus, 5/11/07)

Top 11 Plans to Cut Costs at the Star Tribune (Saint Paul, 5/07/07)

Top 11 New Job Opportunities For Mike Hatch (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 5/02/07)

April 2007

Top 11 Complaints Of Lawyers In The Minnesota Attorney General's Office (Sisyphus, 4/27/07)

Top 11 Things Said In The Exchange Between Cheryl Crow, Laurie David and Karl Rove (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 4/22/07)

Top 11 Suggested Amenities For The Temporary Detention Area Now Being Planned For Arrested Republican National Convention Protesters (Sisyphus, 4/18/07)

Top 11 Chants, Slogans, & Signs For This Saturday's National Day Of Climate Action (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/12/07)

Top 11 Ways The Iranians Made Their British Captives Cry (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/11/07)

Top 11 Company Secrets Par Ridder Had In His Pioneer Press Laptop (Sisyphus, 4/10/07)

Top 11 Highlights of the Iranian "Nuclear Day" Celebrations (Sisyphus, 4/09/07)

Top 11 Reasons These Men Are Smiling and Laughing (Saint Paul, 4/06/07)

Top 11 Reasons Brooks Kochvar Left As Michele Bachmann's Chief Of Staff (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 4/04/07)

Top 11 Alumni That Make The University of Michigan Proud (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 4/03/07)

Top 11 “Facts” Found By Nancy Pelosi During Her Trip To Syria (Sisyphus, 4/01/07)

March 2007

Top 11 Reasons This Blog Opposes Making the Tilt-A-Whirl the Official Amusement Ride of Minnesota (Sisyphus, 3/20/07)

Top 11 Reasons Minneapolis Water Smells "Funky" (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 3/28/07)

Top 11 Reasons That The Gopher Hockey Team Lost To North Dakota (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 3/26/07)

Top 11 Changes Being Considered At St. Louis Park High School To Avoid Exposing Students To The N-Word (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 3/22/07)

Top 11 Things I'd Rather Listen To Than Someone Updating Me On Their NCAA Brackets (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 3/20/07)

Top 11 Revelations in Hugh Hewitt's New Book, "A Mormon in the White House?" (Saint Paul, 3/16/07)

Top 11 Other Stories the Washington Post has “broken” Recently (Sisyphus, 3/15/07)

Top 11 Things Rudy Giuliani "Hates" As Much As He "Hates" Abortion (JB, 3/14/07)

Top 11 Reasons Anne Bancroft and Liv Arneson Abandoned Their North Pole Expedition To Raise Awareness Of Global Warming (Sisyphus, 3/12/07)

Top 11 Real Reasons the Democrats Are Boycotting Fox News (Sisyphus, 3/10/07)

Top 11 Things Good Ol' Gal Hillary Likes To Do When She's In The South (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 3/06/07)

Top 11 Digitally Enhanced Baseball Cards (Nihlist in Golf Pants, 3/04/07)

Top 11 Reasons Hillary Clinton Had her 1965 Senior Thesis Suppressed (Sisyphus, 3/02/07)

February 2007

Top 11 Things Causing Al Gore to Spend $30K a Year on Electricity (Saint Paul, 2/28/07)

Top 11 Reasons This Years Oscars Were The Greenest Ever (Sisyphus, 2/26/07)

Top 11 Honorary Degrees the University of Minnesota is Considering In Addition to Doctor of Climatology for Al Gore (Sisyphus, 2/21/07)

Top 11 Deeply Held Convictions of Rep. Jim Ramstad (Nihlist in Golf Pants, 2/20/07)

Top 11 Highlights of the Upcoming Save Our Selves (SOS) Global Warming Concert (Sisyphus, 2/18/07)

Top 11 Things Scientists Are Way More Than 90% Certain Of (Sisyphus, 2/11/07)

Top 11 Things Burning In Nick Coleman's Mind (Chad the Elder, 2/09/07)

Top 11 Reasons the Pentagon Has Rejected Nancy Pelosi’s Request for a C-32 Military Jet (Sisyphus, 2/08/07)

Top 11 Next WSJ Pieces By Mark "The Commoner" Yost (JB, 2/08/07)

Top 11 Candidates For NASA's Astronaut Opening (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 2/06/07)

Top 11 Titles I’m Considering For My Autobiography (Sisyphus, 2/05/07)

January 2007

Top 11 Other Jobs That Are Suitable For Out-of-Work Twin Cities Reporters as Listed on JournalismJobs.com (Guest Poster, 1/31/07)

Top 11 Things the State of California is Considering Banning (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 1/30/07)

Top 11 Highlights Of the Big Washington D.C. Anti-War Protest (Sisyphus, 1/29/07)

Top 11 Phoniest Names on the NRSC Pledge (Fuzzy Nitzsche, 1/28/07)

Top 11 Other Personal Goals of Mitch Berg (JB, 1/25/07)

Top 11 Worst Named Sports Arenas in North America (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 1/25/07)

Top 11 Interesting Facts About Uranus (Sisyphus, 1/24/07)

Top 11 Reasons Bill Parcells Has Retired as Coach of the Dallas Cowboys (Sisyphus, 1/22/07)

Top 11 Next Events to Cause Doomsday Clock to Move Closer to Midnight (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 1/19/07)

Top 11 Reasons US Cancer Rates Are Dropping (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 1/17/07)

Top 11 Team Names In Next Weekend's U.S. Pond Hockey Tournament (Chad the Elder, 1/12/07)

Top 11 Reasons That The Ohio State Lost To Florida Last Night (Chad the Elder, 1/09/07)

Top 11 Taunts We Would Have Made Had We Been Present at Saddam’s Hanging (Sisyphus, 1/08/07)

Top 11 Changes in Store Now That Nancy Pelosi has Given Power to “The Children” (Sisyphus, 1/06/07)

Top 11 Changes in Store for Minnesota Now That We Have A Communist Endorsed Secretary Of State (Sisyphus, 1/03/07)

Top 11 Reasons Why Glen Mason Thinks He Was Fired (Chad the Elder, 1/02/07)

December 2006

Top 11 Surprises in Saddam Hussein’s Will (Sisyphus, 12/29/06)

Top 11 Reasons Harry Reid is Skipping Gerald Ford’s State Funeral (Sisyphus, 12/28/06)

Top 11 Changes In Store For the StarTribune Now That It Has Been Sold To A Private Equity Group (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/27/06)

Top 11 Things We Don't Want To Find In Our Christmas Stocking (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/24/06)

Top 11 Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch The Vikings On Offense (Chad the Elder, 12/22/06)

Top 11 Shocking Revelations In The Documents That Sandy Berger Pilfered From The National Archives (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 12/21/06)

Top 11 Things Rosie O'Donnell and The Donald Are Fighting About (JB, 12/21/06)

Top 11 Reasons Former Minneapolis City Council Member Dean Zimmerman Is Looking Forward to Prison (Sisyphus, 12/20/06)

Top 11 Punishments for Tara Connor (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/19/06)

Top 11 Reasons Star Tribune Editor Anders Gyllenhaal Is Leaving to Become Editor of the Miami Herald (Sisyphus, 12/16/06)

Top 11 Reasons Evel Kneivel Is Suing Kanye West (JB, 12/13/06)

Top 11 Conferences Sponsored By The Iranian Government After They Finish Their Current Conference On Whether The Holocaust Happened (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/13/06)

Incoming House Intelligence Committee Chair Silvestre Reyes' Top 11 Ideas About Terrorism (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 12/12/06)

Top 11 Surprises In Kofi Annan’s Fairwell Speech (Sisyphus, 12/12/06)

Top 11 Reasons the People of Louisiana’s Second Congressional District Re-elected William “Ice Box” Jefferson (Sisyphus, 12/11/06)

Top 11 Baby Name Recommendations For Mary Cheney (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/09/06)

Top 11 Highlights of the Iraq Study Group Report (Sisyphus, 12/06/06)

Top 11 Names for Conservatives to Be Used in Future Star Tribune Editorials (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 12/05/06)

Top 11 Candidates for UN Ambassador That Would Be Confirmed By the Democrats (Sisyphus, 12/04/06)

Top 11 Books For Oaths Of Office (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 12/02/06)

November 2006

Top 11 Reasons Laura Billings Is Taking A Buyout From The Pioneer Press (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/30/06)

Top 11 Irreconcilable Differences Between Kid Rock & Pamela Anderson (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/27/06)

Top 11 Worst Things About The CBS Coverage Of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (Misanthropic Frat Boys, 11/24/06)

Top 11 Reasons Democrats Want To Reinstate The Draft (Sisyphus, 11/21/06)

Top 11 Promises To Katie Holmes In Tom Cruise's Wedding Vows (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 11/18/06)

Top 11 Things City Pages Bloggers Are Likely To Claim To Overhear At A Republican Election Night Party (Sisyphus, 11/16/06)

Top 11 Judi Dutcher Quotes If She Runs For Senate In 2008 (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/15/06)

Top 11 Predictions Made By Flash (JB, 11/15/06)

Top 11 Things That John Hinderaker & Garrison Keillor Have In Common (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/14/06)

Top 11 Things We Like About The Star Tribune (JB, 11/13/06)

Top 11 Groups Most Excited About The Democrats Taking Control of Congress (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/12/06)

Top 11 Suggestions For Democrats In The Wake Of Their Crushing Election Defeat (Sisyphus, 11/10/06)

Top 11 Condolences Given To Mike Hatch (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 11/09/06)

Top 11 Celebrity Couples Most Likely To Become The Third Big Break Up (Sisyphus, 11/08/06)

Top 11 Reasons CNN Cancelled John Hinderaker's Appearance on Larry King (Fuzzy Nietzsce, 11/07/06)

Top 11 Things That Larry King Will Ask Power Line's John Hinderaker Tonight On CNN (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/06/06)

Top 11 Notes On Mike Hatch's Hand During Friday's TPT Almanac Debate (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 11/06/06)

Top 11 Reasons Rebecca Otto Wasn’t Endorsed By The Star Tribune (Sisyphus, 11/05/06)

Top 11 "You So Ugly Jokes" (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 11/04/06)

Judi Dutcher’s Top 11 Reasons For Not Having Heard Of E-85 (Sisyphus, 11/03/06)

Top 11 Powerline Posts About Dartmouth (JB, 11/03/06)

Top 11 Reasons John Kerry Cancelled His Appearance In St. Paul Today (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 11/01/06)

October 2006

Top 11 Reasons To Write-In Captain Ed For Mayor Of Eagan (Sisyphus, 10/31/06)

Top 11 Ways The Dixie Chicks Have Been Oppressed (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 10/29/06)

Top 11 Ways Democrats Will Spin James Webb’ Literary Work (Sisyphus, 10/28/06)

Top 11 Songs To Be Featured In The Next Democrat/Michael J. Fox Commercial (JB, 10/27/06)

Top 11 Things That I Don't Want To See At Mass (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/17/06)

Top 11 Songs from Wellstone! the Musical (Fuzzy Nietzsche, 10/13/06)

Top 11 Reasons Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid Didn’t File Financial Disclosure Reports On a Las Vegas Land Deal That Made Him $1.1 Million (Sisyphus, 10/12/06)

Top 11 Reasons That Comparing Jimmy Carter To Neville Chamberlain Is An Insult To Chamberlain (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/12/06)

Top 11 Other Surprising Studies in the Lancet (Sisyphus, 10/11/06)

Top 11 Reasons That Comparing Bush To Hitler Is An Insult To Hitler (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/11/06)

Top 11 Democratic Reponses To The North Korean Atomic Bomb Test (Sisyphus, 10/09/06)

Top 11 Things That Atomizer Could Have Bought Instead Of Twins Playoff Tickets (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/06/06)

Top 11 Magazines More Interesting Than The Claremont Review of Books (JB, 10/05/06)

Top 11 Upcoming Patty Wetterling Accusations (Sisyphus, 10/05/06)

Top 11 Causes of Congressman Foley's Disgusting Actions (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/04/06)

Top 11 Questions That Congressman Mark Foley Asked Teenage Boys In E-mails & Instant Messages (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 10/02/06)

September 2006

Top 11 Dustin Diamond Sex Acts Caught On Tape Besides The Dirty Sanchez (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 9/29/06)

Top 11 Things For Hugh Hewitt To Do In The Twin Cities During The 2008 GOP Convention (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 9/28/06)

Top 11 Reasons the GOP Has Chosen To Hold Its 2008 National Convention In The Twin Cities (Sisyphus, 9/27/06)

Top 11 Revelations In The Recently Declassified National Intelligence Estimate (Sisyphus, 9/27/06)

Top 11 Things That Bill Clinton Was More Obsessed With During His Presidency Than Osama Bin Laden (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 9/25/06)

Top 18 Password Guesses Made By The Democrat Who Hacked Into Mark Kennedy's Campaign Computer (Sisyphus, 9/22/06)

Top 11 Candidates For The Newly Vacant Position Of Communications Director For The Amy Klobuchar Campaign (Sisyphus, 9/21/06)

Top 11 People The Democrats Equate With George W. Bush (Nihilist in Golf Pants, 9/21/06)

Top 11 Pieces Of Evidence Hugo Chavez Has That Bush Is The Devil (Sisyphus, 9/20/06)

Notre Dame’s Top 11 Excuses For Being Routed By Michigan (Sisyphus, 9/18/06)

Top 11 Things That The Power Line Guys Were Doing On Tuesday (Misanthropic Frat Boy, 9/13/06)

Top 11 Other Ultimatums from Brad Pitt (Sisyphus 9/09/06)

Top 11 Democratic Complaints About the ABC 9-11 Mini-Series (Sisyphus. 9/07/07)

Top 11 Thoughts That Went Through My Head While Watching The Steven Seagal Film "Hard To Kill" On Wednesday Night (Nihilist in Golf Pants. 9/07/06)

Top 11 Katie Couric Sign-Off Phrases (Sisyphus, 9/06/06)

Top 11 List Archive (December 2004 – September 2006)