Thursday, September 06, 2007

Top 11 Reasons Larry Craig is "Reconsidering" his Decision to Resign

11. Heard about a great new bathroom cruising spot in the Hart Senate Office Building

10. Wants to have several extra-marital affairs with DC hotties to prove once and for all he's not gay

9. Vows to stay until he can ensure all bathrooms in America have doors that go all the way to the floor

8. Realized that Ted Kennedy was able to hang around the Senate for forty years after killing someone, so in hindsight resigning for cruising for gay sex was an overreaction

7. Ted Haggard agreed to help him overcome his problems with 1 on 1 "prayer" sessions

6. Barney Frank offered to hook him up with his former roommate

5. Tom Cruise told him he believes his story

4. Can't quit now that he finally has some name recognition

3. Bet his entire Senate pension on Michigan last Saturday

2. Lucrative deal for Larry Craig Tap Dancing School fell through

1. Honestly believes that he really is THAT important


Anonymous Chad said...

He would have to spend all his time with his wife, who is rumored to have cooties!

6:35 PM  

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