Top 11 Things the Editors of the New York Times Erroneously Think is in the U.S. Constitution Besides “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness”

The New York Times seems to think that the phrase “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is in the U. S. Constitution. Here are the top 11 other phrases the New York Times might think are in there:

11. Everybody have fun tonight, everybody wang chung tonight.

10. Liberté, égalité, fraternité

9. We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

8. Have it your way at Burger King

7. Thou shalt not back-date stock options

6. From each according to their ability to each according to their needs

5. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle

4. The right of Senators to change their plea to innocent after pleading guilty to waving their left hand under a bathroom stall to engage in anonymous gay sex

3. There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his prophet

2. You gotta fight for your right to par-tay

1. Be excellent to each other