Friday, June 22, 2007

Top 11 Commandments For Driving

The Vatican just released 10 commandments for driving. I like the top eleven commandments provided by reader Henry (with slight editing) better:

11. I am the road you're on; I'll get you out of the land you're leaving. Thou shalt not worship thine cell phone before me.

10. Thou shalt not take the name of the lord in vain, unless some jerk cuts you off.

9. Keep holy thine car's Black Sabbath CD.

8. Honor thy father and mother, unless they are driving unreasonably slow or leave their turn signal on for long stretches of time.

7. Thou shalt not kill engine.

6. Thou shalt not apply taco sauce on chalupa whilst driving.

5. Thou shalt not steal the parking space for which another driver from the other side has been waiting.

4. Thou shalt not have an old "Wellstone!" "Kerry," "What would Wellstone
do?" or "Who would Jesus Bomb?" bumper sticker on thine car.

3. Thou shalt not covet road head from thine neighbor's wife.

2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Lambourghini.

1. "God is my co-pilot" bumper sticker refers to an airplane, not a car.

4 Comments:

Anonymous john f not kerry said...

Thou shall stay out of the passing lane unless you are, um, passing someone. Then move over again.

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thou shalt not fart in the car as it may kill passengers

6:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thou shalt not do a fudgey in the car as i might mistake it for a choco bar and get poisend at the wheel

6:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thou shalt not swear at a lorry driver as he may stop me and kick the shit out of me

6:20 AM  

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