Saturday, November 18, 2006

Top 11 Promises To Katie Holmes In Tom Cruise's Wedding Vows

11. A pan *

10. A comb *

9. Possibly a cat *

8. A two picture deal as his female lead

7. A divorce in 2015

6. She will not have to pretend he impregnated her any more

5. He won't embarrass her by appearing on "Oprah" again

4. While she is not allowed any communication with her parents, she can freely talk to any of the servants at the Cruise compound

3. Her guards will be armed with tranquilizers, not bullets

2. She has free reign to make up an imaginary friend (or baby)

1. She is allowed to choose between a lobotomy or a lifetime on high doses of psychotropic drugs

* standard Scientology vows for grooms


Anonymous NihilistWannaBee said...

Tom will limit his "buddies" sleepovers to twice a week.

9:00 AM  
Blogger TKls2myhrt said...

Good list. I saw a photo of Katie looking out the window with a very bewildered and frightened look on her face. Later, I heard of her "pre-wedding jitters" and I thought, "Yeah, she made a last minute attempt to bolt."

8:49 AM  

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