He Wished He Knew How To Quit Us

Tragic that a 28-year old father should die in such a fashion. Absolutely tragic, I'm classless and our blog is classless for posting a joke here. Still, I'd think Heath Ledger would have wanted us to make one final Brokeback Mountain joke in his memory. So here are the top 11 reasons Heath Ledger OD'd:

11. Jake Gyllenhall rejected his advances

10. Huge Packer fan and feared a world where Brett Favre retires

9. Global warming

8. Jealous that the AP has already written a Brittany Spears obit

7. Couldn't bear to live without the red carpet at the Oscars during the writer's strike

6. Vowed Batman would never take him alive

5. Thought he was dating Ashley Olsen; found out it was Mary Kate

4. Couldn’t go on when he learned that Fred Thompson dropped out of the Presidential race

3. Heard that Tom Cruise was on the way over to talk Scientology

2. Found out that studios had passed on Brokeback 2: Revenge of the Sheep

1. Pissed Dick Cheney off a little too much