Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Chad and Learned Foot have been trading insults around the Packers success this year. It's kind of like a rhetorical version of that episode of South Park where Timmy and Jimmy fight.

Can't we stop arguing and enjoy football for football's sake? And can't we enjoy it even more with a little action on the line? I haven't done this in a while, but here are my picks for this weekend (opening line courtesy of USA Today):

Green Bay -7 over NY Giants
There is no way the Packers can possibly fail to cover the spread, much less lose this game. They have the weather, the fans and they have Brett Favre. Let me repeat, the Packers cannot possibly fail to cover.

New England -14 over San Diego
New England is so close they can taste it. Fourteen points is a lot, but this is a team that can make once in a lifetime history. Their opponent is unfortunate enough to have their three best offensive weapons dinged up. While all might play, they all may be somewhat hampered. They don't have enough offensive firepower to hang with the Pats.

Good luck and happy betting. Just to reiterate, my shoe in game of the season is the Packers -7.

The syndicated show, "According to Jim," weighs in on the controversy last night. The following plot summary is 100% true: Jim's doctor tells him that he needs to get his blood pressure down, so he has to cut out annoyances. Jim decides that a client of his, Matt (played by Tom Arnold) annoys the hell out of him, so he will drop him, despite a big financial loss. Before he can tell him, Matt barges into Jim's house and offers to take Jim, a huge Chicago Bears fan, to Lambeau field via booze-laden motorcoach to sit at the 50 yard line and watch the Bears/Packers tilt. He also informs Jim that he is increasing his financial commitment to him. Jim is excited and plans on taking his Ned Beatty-in-Deliverance look-a-like brother in law.

When the motor-coach arrives Matt shows up at Jim's door wearing a Brett Favre Jersey and everyone is in Packers gear. The bus is a booze laden orgy complete with Cheeseheads and transvestites (100% true). The Ned Beatty character hits on one transvestite. When they get out, Jim asks why a bid group of Packers fans would invite two Bears fans to watch the game with them. Matt essentially responds that Packers fans are dicks who can't be happy unless they are making someone else miserable. Ned Beatty defaces their bus with a can of spraypaint and the show ends.

Who knew such wisdom regarding the human condition could exist on "According to Jim?"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess you should stay away from Vegas.

7:08 AM  
Blogger R-Five said...

"That's why they play the game." -- Chris Berman

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Timmy The Beak said...

Once again, anyone who laid money betting the exact opposite of what the Nihilist advised made out like a bandit.

8:29 AM  

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