Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Top 11 Plans Fidel Castro has for Retirement

11. Build a raft and retire to Florida

10. Continue to oppress dissidents, but now just for fun

9. Run for condo board president at Pines of Mar Gables, Phase 2

8. Drive his '56 Caddy around Cuba at no more than 10 mph with his left turn signal on

7. Sign a lucrative endorsement contract with Swisher Sweets

6. Catch Obama fever and start writing speeches about "change" for him

5. Replace his military fatigues with warm-up jackets and stretch-pants

4. Laugh and tell Raul “I told you so” when he finds out it’s not so easy being dictator

3. Move in with Hitler in his pad in Argentina

2. Start blogging at the Huffington Post

1. Start working on his bucket list with Jimmy Carter (coming soon to a theater near you)


Anonymous OliverStone said...

12. Move to Berkeley to find inspiration

13. Enjoy at last the main source of revenues in Cuba: sex tourism

14. Receive the special Oscar from his friends in hollywood

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Luis Tiant said...

Try out for the Twins (again)

9:56 PM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

"I'm goin' to Disneyworld!"


10:27 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Valiantly attempt to pronounce Teofilo Stevenson (and fail).

Threaten Elian Gonzales's family again, just for old times' sake.

Valiantly struggle to pull Hugo Chavez's nose from his hind quarters (and fail).

Ghost write additional Star Tribune op ed articles under the name "Susan Lefenstey."

5:46 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home