Top 11 Agenda Items For the First 100 Days of the Dennis Kucinich Administration

11. Investigation into the connection between Soylent Green and Halliburton

10. Agent Mulder named head of the FBI

9. Bill Richardson appointed U.S. Ambassador to Alpha Centauri

8. Jean Luc Picard relieved of command of the Enterprise for being a warmonger

7. Shirley MacClaine appointed primary science advisor

6. Pledge that before this decade is out, we will fake landing O.J. on Mars

5. Close Guantanamo and transfer everyone to Area 57

4. Will hire 100,000 more Men in Black to patrol the streets

3. Will institute a Manhattan Project to create an unstoppable cyborg (modeled after California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger)

2. Institute Plans 10 and 11 from Outer Space

1. Propose a law making it illegal to snatch someone’s body without their consent