Top 11 Reasons Dick Cheney Fell Asleep During A Meeting on the California Fires

11. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s soothing voice

10. Being evil 24/7 is tiring

9. Trying to recapture the spirit of Ronald Reagan

8. Got bored after he heard the planes were dropping water and not bombs

7. He was up late at Halliburton planning the invasion of Iran

6. Global warming plus the heat from the fires created perfect napping conditions

5. The meeting was held near a recently burned hemp field

4. Wasn't sleeping, still in shock over report that he's related to Barak Obama

3. Yawn. Wake him if a red state starts burning

2. He only looked like he was sleeping as a ruse to lure prey

1. Poor children--like turkey--contain a lot of tryptophan