Top 11 Reasons Brooks Kochvar Left As Michele Bachmann's Chief Of Staff

11. Finally realized that the Star Tribune was right, Bachmann is too far out of the mainstream

10. Tired of constant phone calls from crackpot in Stillwater bitching about property taxes

9. Bachmann's radical Lutheran religious views drove him away

8. The Senate staff break room has Hostess Snowballs in its vending machines

7. Wanted to work for someone who takes a softer, more feminine approach to world affairs

6. Didn't want to have to take on the powerful Bob Hill juggernaut in 2008

5. Wanted to work for someone whose name was easier to spell

4. Reached his limit for seeing Eva Young's face at every public appearance

3. Gordon Smith promised not to kiss the President Bush after next year's SOTU address

2. Bachmann kept hounding him to pick up trash on her adopted highway

1. Realized her emphasis on morality is no way to get ahead in Washington