Top 11 Surprises In Kofi Annan’s Fairwell Speach

11. Admitted that he ignored Darfur because there were no American interests there to oppose

10. Said that even he is tiring of the French

9. Proposed marriage to Britney Spears

8. Denied the rumor that he ghost wrote all of Jimmy Carter’s poetry

7. In a profanity filled five minute aside, he denounced Sony for not making enough PlayStation 3s

6. Admitted that even liberals don’t think that Al Franken is funny

5. Sang a medley from “Phantom of the Opera”

4. Asked Nancy Pelosi to appoint him Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee

3. Confessed that he was the one who always left dirty dishes in the sink of the UN break room

2. Announced his intention to take down Kobayashi at the next Nathan’s hot dog eating contest

1. Accused Sacha Baron Cohen of ripping off his “Borat” bit