Top 11 Reasons The Nihilist In Golf Pants Was Denied Access to the Republican National Convention

11. Convention quotient of a-holes was high enough as it is

10. RNC only wanted "safe" wussy bloggers like Swiftee on hand

9. RNC didn't want to be a party to violating Mary Katherine Ham's restraining order against Sisyphus

8. RNC wanted to avoid connections to country club Republicans

7. RNC wanted to avoid connections to corporate, back-dated stock option Republicans

6. The RNC strongly suspected he'd sell his credential on e-bay

5. The RNC couldn't trust any blog that won a major award from the City Pages

4. McCain didn't want any competition to his Elvis impersonation

3. Nihilist was too cheap to pay the bribe required for access

2. After RNC gave access to Power Line, they didn't feel the need for another humor based blog

1. The Nihilist's uncanny ability to identify closeted homosexuals made certain people nervous