Top 11 Things American Journalists Would Throw At President Bush If Given The Opportunity

11. The weighty manuscript of their Obama hagiography

10. Their feces (like monkeys in the zoo)

9. The worthless stock options from the papers they work for

8. The pick slips they just received

7. Somebody else's shoes

6. DNC press releases

5. Their personal copies of Das Kapital

4. Their J-school diplomas

3. Their commemorative Barack Obama plates

2. Keys to their used Prius

1. Their Pulitzer Prizes (not applicable for Star Tribune journalists)