Top 11 Conditions Congress Has Attached to the Bail Out Of the Big Three Automakers

11. Each automaker must name a new model after Robert Byrd

10. The CEOs must wash Nancy Pelosi’s plane every weekend

9. Ignition lock on all new cars that will prevent people with body odor from driving to DC (included at behest of Harry Reid).

8. Trunks of all 2009 models to be searched for missing Al Franken ballots

7. Must agree to stop conspiring with the oil industry to suppress the engine that runs on gravel

6. Must spend a portion of the bailout money to research John Kerry’s idea for a wind-powered bus

5. All makers required to manufacture at least one floating car with liter sized cupholders at behest of Ted Kennedy.

4. Automakers required to produce "mobile voter" buses to be donated to ACORN for use in getting people to the polls (all of them).

3. Must appoint Rod Blagojevich to their Board of Directors (this requirement now withdrawn)

2. Must eliminate cigarette lighters in cars, except for Obama's Escalade limo

1. All car horns to be programmed to play Happy Days Are Here Again