Top 11 Possible Explanations for why ALL of the Corrections to the Coleman-Franken Vote Totals Favor Franken
11. Election officials are afraid Franken will throw a chair at them if they change tally to favor Coleman
10. Minnesota uses old Diebold machines that thought Coleman was still a Democrat
9. Hard to completely fill in a little circle when you’re high on cocaine
8. Write in votes for "Stuart Smalley" now being counted for Franken
7. Statistically, election judges in heavily Democratic precincts are far more likely to “accidentally” leave uncounted ballots in their car for three days
6. Ballots using invisible ink are just now being counted by Mark Ritchie's staff.
5. Democrats are just not very good at menial skills like plumbing and adding up columns of votes
4. Votes are being counted by the same accountant who “forgot” to file Franken’s taxes in several states
3. Liberal bloggers convinced Secretary of State Ritchie that all votes cast by Coleman’s family were faked in photoshop
2. It was discovered that Republican poll challengers had unconstitutionally disenfranchised Mickey Mouse 179 times
1. It would look bad if Mark Ritchie just dumped all the votes necessary for Franken to win at once
10. Minnesota uses old Diebold machines that thought Coleman was still a Democrat
9. Hard to completely fill in a little circle when you’re high on cocaine
8. Write in votes for "Stuart Smalley" now being counted for Franken
7. Statistically, election judges in heavily Democratic precincts are far more likely to “accidentally” leave uncounted ballots in their car for three days
6. Ballots using invisible ink are just now being counted by Mark Ritchie's staff.
5. Democrats are just not very good at menial skills like plumbing and adding up columns of votes
4. Votes are being counted by the same accountant who “forgot” to file Franken’s taxes in several states
3. Liberal bloggers convinced Secretary of State Ritchie that all votes cast by Coleman’s family were faked in photoshop
2. It was discovered that Republican poll challengers had unconstitutionally disenfranchised Mickey Mouse 179 times
1. It would look bad if Mark Ritchie just dumped all the votes necessary for Franken to win at once
posted by Sisyphus at 11/10/2008 02:32:00 PM
8 Comments:
recount is required by law you big fucking whining baby
Wow, an anonymous commenter with guts to use the word "fuck" in "public"! Sign him up NIGP!
Good to see Al Franken stopping by to comment.
Hey everybody, I think Al Franken left an anonymous comment! Welcome Senator-elect Franken! Thanks for reading!
One correction to your comment though -- your staff should have informed you that the recount required by law hasn't yet started and the random changes to the vote total are thus not attributable to it.
#12 Election officials who refuse to turn in more Franken tallies afraid of being called "big fucking whining babies" by know-it-all anonymous commenters.
recount is required by law. quit whining.
Anonymous-
What part of
adding votes during canvassing
does not equal
recount
do you not understand?
Is that the same anonymous big fucking whining baby, or does it just look like him?
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