Monday, November 10, 2008

Top 11 Possible Explanations for why ALL of the Corrections to the Coleman-Franken Vote Totals Favor Franken

11. Election officials are afraid Franken will throw a chair at them if they change tally to favor Coleman

10. Minnesota uses old Diebold machines that thought Coleman was still a Democrat

9. Hard to completely fill in a little circle when you’re high on cocaine

8. Write in votes for "Stuart Smalley" now being counted for Franken

7. Statistically, election judges in heavily Democratic precincts are far more likely to “accidentally” leave uncounted ballots in their car for three days

6. Ballots using invisible ink are just now being counted by Mark Ritchie's staff.

5. Democrats are just not very good at menial skills like plumbing and adding up columns of votes

4. Votes are being counted by the same accountant who “forgot” to file Franken’s taxes in several states

3. Liberal bloggers convinced Secretary of State Ritchie that all votes cast by Coleman’s family were faked in photoshop

2. It was discovered that Republican poll challengers had unconstitutionally disenfranchised Mickey Mouse 179 times

1. It would look bad if Mark Ritchie just dumped all the votes necessary for Franken to win at once

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

recount is required by law you big fucking whining baby

4:27 PM  
Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

Wow, an anonymous commenter with guts to use the word "fuck" in "public"! Sign him up NIGP!

4:45 PM  
Blogger Saint Paul said...

Good to see Al Franken stopping by to comment.

4:49 PM  
Blogger Sisyphus said...

Hey everybody, I think Al Franken left an anonymous comment! Welcome Senator-elect Franken! Thanks for reading!

One correction to your comment though -- your staff should have informed you that the recount required by law hasn't yet started and the random changes to the vote total are thus not attributable to it.

4:50 PM  
Anonymous MFB said...

#12 Election officials who refuse to turn in more Franken tallies afraid of being called "big fucking whining babies" by know-it-all anonymous commenters.

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

recount is required by law. quit whining.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous MFB said...

Anonymous-

What part of

adding votes during canvassing

does not equal

recount

do you not understand?

12:26 PM  
Blogger John F Not Kerry said...

Is that the same anonymous big fucking whining baby, or does it just look like him?

4:08 PM  

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