Top 11 Ways Anarchists Plan To Disrupt the 2008 GOP Convention In St. Paul

11. Hijack all shipments of cigars and single malt Scotch to the Twin Cities

10. Have a drunken Irishman lay out the streets in St. Paul so convention goers get lost

9. Harass the finely dressed patrons at Kincaid's by sitting at their tables and saying "I want to buy your women... the little girl... your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your children."

8. Put extra chlorine in John Hinderaker's swimming pool

7. Keep ordering pizzas to be delivered to Xcel Energy Center for "Mr. Chimpy McBushHitler"

6. Institute a smoking ban to inconvenience all those cigar chomping fat cats

5. Convince Garrison Keillor to infuse his homespun yarns on government radio with liberal propaganda.

4. Organize a strike of performance artists so that there will be no entertainment options for the delegates

3. Ruin economy by somehow sabotaging vibrant downtown St. Paul nightlife

2. Reserve all the prime tee times at local golf courses

1. Stage a coup against Saint Paul City Council, replace them with a gang of 60s era radicals