Top 11 Reasons Michael Bloomberg Left The Republican Party

11. The Republican Party just isn’t as billionaire-friendly as it once was

10. Didn’t actually mean to leave the Republican Party – thought he was leaving the Yankee’s bandwagon

9. Republican Presidential primary voters are intimidated by extremely handsome candidates

8. He saw how well leaving the Republican Party worked for Judi Dutcher

7. 9 out of 10 journalists can’t be wrong

6. None of the cool billionaires like Warren Buffett, Peter Lewis, and George Soros are Republicans

5. Realized that he was too smart to be in the party of drooling morons

4. The Republicans are in the pocket of Big Trans Fat

3. Karl Rove and Dick Cheney neglected to warn him that they were going to bring down the Twin Towers

2. Laurie David said she would never go out with him if he remained a Republican

1. Why not? Everyone else is leaving the Republican Party