Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Top 11 Reasons the GOP Has Chosen To Hold Its 2008 National Convention In The Twin Cities

11. Out of deference to Keith Ellison, jihadists less likely to nuke it

10. Delegates want a chance to see the spot where Mary Tyler Moore threw her hat into the air during the opening credits of the Mary Tyler Moore Show

9. If the convention is deadlocked, T-PAW is just down the street

8. More convenient for the candidates to do interviews with NARN

7. Chris Coleman and RT Rybak made such a cute couple that they just couldn't say no.

6. The poor quality of Twin Cities liberal bloggers means that there is little chance of them having any impact on the convention

5. Commentators can point out that the Mary Tyler Moore show was set in Minneapolis and that the GOP would like to capture the Mary Richards vote

4. GOP wanted to give the Twin Cities a chance to make up for that 1892 nomination of Benjamin Harrison

3. The stripper situation has improved considerably since the Vikings had to import strippers from Georgia for their boat cruise

2. Wanted a chance to thank Walter Mondale for all he’s done to strengthen the Republican Party

1. Hell was booked solid and despite rumors to the contrary, Cleveland in fact does not rock, it sucks


Blogger Nicko McDave said...

Sisyphus is a genius. A post likes this makes me feel so unworthy that I just want to give up blogging for good. And recommend that others do the same.

4:43 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

As a native Clevelander, I can attest to the fact that it does not, in fact, suck.

That would be the Minneapolis City Council.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Leslie Bates said...

11. Out of deference to Keith Ellison, jihadists less likely to nuke it

Isn't Ellison a Nation of Islam follower and therefore a heretic?

In any case I would leave the Twin Cities for the week.

5:58 PM  
Blogger SurfingKC said...

You forgot about the Ted Baxter museum!

8:17 AM  

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