Top 11 Revelations In The Recently Declassified National Intelligence Estimate

The President recently declassified the National Intelligence Estimate (NIE). As a public service, the crack staff here at NIGP has sifted through the boring stuff to bring you its top 11 revelations:

11. The Iraq War is directly responsible for a drastic increase in unhinged Moonbats

10. John Kerry would have handled foreign policy way better than Bush

9. Voting for Democrats makes you more attractive to the opposite sex

8. George Allen said K-Mart "Gypped" him when returning a lawn mower in 1972

7. The true identity of Ralphie's captors is revealed

6. Paris Hilton really did have only one drink the day she was arrested for her DUI

5. The war in Iraq is contributing to global warming

4. Zawahiri has beard plugs

3. It’s grossly unfair that chicks expect all spies to look like James Bond

2. Kim Jung Il really is a better golfer than Tiger Woods.

1. All intelligence leaks must be vetted by the New York Times.