Monday, November 05, 2007

Top 11 Pledges Hillary Made to Walter Mondale to Get His Endorsement

Hillary Clinton all but locked up the 2008 Democratic Presidential Nomination today when she received the endorsement of Walter Mondale. However, the endorsement didn’t come cheaply. Here are the top 11 pledges Hillary had to make to get Mondale's endorsement:

11. Agreed to nominate him for a Nobel Peace Prize

10. Will declare that Reagan stole the 1984 election and that she considers him the real 41st President

9. Promised to appoint him ambassador to a “more happening” country than Japan this time

8. Will not use "Where's the Beef?" as her campaign slogan

7. A 50% discount on all presidential pardons of his children's DWIs

6. Promised to name one building after him for every two named after Wellstone

5. He'll be included on all her future cattle trading tips

4. Will promise to raise taxes

3. Said she would do her best to keep Bill away from his daughter Eleanor

2. Promised to never threaten his record of losing a state-wide election in all 50 states

1. If there's a Mount Rushmore carved of Vice Presidents heads during her tenure, he will be on it

5 Comments:

Anonymous kat fight said...

Will let him borrow her vast collection of hot girl on girl porn.

6:38 PM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

Will give him his testicles back out of the lockbox.

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3. Said she would do her best to keep Bill away from his daughter Eleanor.

Too late!

2:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[nitpick]
Mondale would've been the 42nd president if he had won in '84, not the 41st, since Reagan would've still served his first term.
[/nitpick]

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scratch that. I can't count today.

:-(

3:39 PM  

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