Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Top 11 Things That I Don't Want To See At Mass*

*All are things that I have witnessed in the last few years

11. Baseball caps--Is it asking too much to comb your hair for the Lord?

10. Sneakers--This is a church not a gym

9. Shorts--Put some pants on pal

8. Mini-skirts--Get that behind behind me Satan!

7. Sandals on men--I know Jesus wore 'em but this is 21st century America not 1st century Israel hippie

6. Bare mid-riffs--Skin should not be in

5. T-shirts with logos/slogans--I'm sure the Staind concert was great dude, but I don't need to know

4. Tank tops--When did you stop beating your wife?

3. Athletic jerseys--God doesn't care how the Vikings do on Sunday

2. Flip-flops--Nothing says casual disdain like a pair of flip-flops

1. Cleavage--Normally I've very pro-cleavage (just a peek--it's like looking at the sun), but there is a time and place for everything and church is not a place for displaying your wares ladies


Anonymous John F Not Kerry said...

Blue jeans- If slacks and skirts are good enough for work, they're good enough for church

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

I agree... I REALLY appreciate when I see beer shirts too.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Margaret said...

My spouse isn't Catholic but he won't go to church with me if his hair is too messy and he has to wear a ball cap. Does that make him especially observant or just a slob who is looking for an excuse not to go with me to church?

11:50 AM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

If the ladies are still paying attention, how about some hosiery? We don't need to see your veins! :)

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Socal Bill said...

12. Judgemental dopes who can only focus on what others are wearing. And please...enough with the "Sign of the Peace" handshake. I don't want your grubby germs either.
May God Bless You.

12:01 AM  
Anonymous John F Not Kerry said...

Social Bill must go to church in sandals, jeans, and logo t-shirts! :)

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Matt said...

As a pastor I'm more interested in welcoming people who may or may not know the rules of church. It's nice when people dress well, because it show how important church is to them, but I don't think we should forget that some people have never been, or come so seldom that they don't know.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

Matt said...

"some people...come so seldom that they don't know."

Get on the stick Matt! :)

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

John, like I said, I have different priorities for teaching and preaching. However, if dress code is really important to you, I bet your leading by example.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Pauli said...

Excellent post. The "Jesus had sandals" thing is sooooo old -- he was poor, OK? Do you have any idea how much people pay for those ugly things??

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Socal Bill said...

John f not Kerry must spend his time at Mass pretending he's Mr. Blackwell. Oh my John, the Vatican awaits you. :)

10:57 PM  
Anonymous John F Not Kerry said...

Bill and Matt,

Please don't mistake my personal tastes and wishes for judgmentalism. I am always happy to see people fill the seats for the opportunity to worship and learn. The worst church will not be improved by good fashion, and the best one will not be ruined by the lack thereof.

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Matt said...

Well said, it's not about fashion. An older pastor once told me he used to keep a small clock taped under the first pew so he could check the time of his sermons. He used to, untill some young ladies sat next to the clock wearing mini-skirts. :)

2:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm Catholic too- in one of the wealthiest areas of Mpls- so I don't buy the "I can't afford it" argument. Have you seen the Mexicans who attend the Spanish Masses? They dress better than most six figure families I see- and they dress their children appropriately too. My parents wouldn't let me in the car if I didn't have a skirt or dress on for Mass. Now I see girls in SWEAT PANTS- I saw a girl last month in drawstring Sweat Pants with something written on the butt! It's completely disrespectful and distracting.

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Socal Bill said...

John f not kerry,
I won't mistake your personal tastes and wishes for judgementalism if you don't mistake my wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes and a collared shirt for disrespect of the Mass. OK? And may I offer you a handshake and "Peace be with you."

11:48 PM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...


Even though I said nothing about disrespecting the Mass (I'm not Catholic), I wish you peace as well, whatever you choose to wear.

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Andrew Sullivan said...

Isn't it just like you neocon authoritarians to mandate a fundamentalist edict for dress...or theology!

Now, do you or don't you approve of torture?

2:19 PM  

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