Top 11 Reasons Nick Coleman Rejected the Star Tribune Buyout

Material starved right wing bloggers all over the Twin Cities have heaved a collective sigh of relief: Nick Coleman has refused to accept the Star Tribunes buy out. Here are the top 11 reasons why:

11. The rightwing nuts at the NTSB turned down his application to be a bridge collapse engineer.

10. He feels that he’s the only person standing between Tim Pawlenty and a right-wing dictatorship in Minnesota.

9. He expects to be be rich once the Obama administration approves a newspaper industry bailout.

8. It would be beneath his dignity as a professional journalist to share a going away party with Katherine Kersten.

7. Still hasn't received the Pulitzer he feels he's entitled to

6. Wants to be spared the embarrassment of working for one of those George Soros websites.

5. Newsroom is great hunting grounds for next younger wife.

4. He is extremely angry with the Star Tribune and feels that the best way to make them suffer is to continue writing for them

3. COBRA payments for hip replacement surgery not cheap

2. He is intrigued by management's offer to give him the Soil and Water Conservation District Supervisor meetings beat

1. Cannot quit while schools continue to burn across Twin Cities