Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Top 11 Career Opportunities for Nick Coleman After Losing His Column

11. Fertility counselor

10. Sparring partner for Derek Boogaard

9. Co-author of The Blog House

8. Counter help at White Castle

7. Member of the St. Paul K-9 narcotics unit (while this job technically is supposed to go to a dog, Nick's bragging about his "big sniffer" makes us think he'd be perfect for the job)

6. Before model for the Hair Club for Men

5. World's worst Santa Claus

4. New Member of the Withering Glance team

3. John Hinderaker's pool cleaner

2. His brother, the mayor of the City of St. Paul could give him a high-paid lackey job

1. His step-mom could get him a column in the Washington Post


Blogger LearnedFoot said...

Some of these things just write themselves, don't they?

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is "Old Coot" a job or a lifestyle? Although Nick will never admit that the liberal leanings of the Red Star contributed to his demise, the "Knower of Stuff" has to regretting burning the blogging bridge right about now :)

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Incontinentia Buttocks said...

the "Knower of Stuff" has to regretting burning the blogging bridge right about now :)

Nah. Old-school "journalists" think of themselves as a high priesthood of knowledge. They can't see doing anything "less".

6:53 AM  
Blogger ganderson said...

Wasn't it better when they were called reporters and they were semi-literate drunks who hung out at the Little Wagon or Gallivans? Just asking...

8:29 AM  
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