Monday, March 12, 2007

Top 11 Reasons Anne Bancroft and Liv Arneson Abandoned Their North Pole Expedition To Raise Awareness Of Global Warming

11. After watching “An Inconvenient Truth”, they packed only Hawaiian shirts and shorts

10. Learned that Santa Claus was on vacation

9. Ran out of make-up

8. Their Prius didn’t get sufficient traction on the arctic ice

7. In retrospect, it wasn’t such a great idea to invite along Bonnie Bleskachek

6. Progress blocked by all the polar bears floating by on ice bergs

5. Completely forgot that they would miss the NCAA Basketball tournament if they scheduled the trip in mid-March

4. They were needed as stunt doubles for Rosie O'Donnell on the View.

3. Karl Rove and the oil industry used their weather machine to make it cold in order to discredit the expedition

2. Consensus of scientists threatened to kill them if they sent any pictures back of ice and snow

1. Temperatures dropped to -50 because of all those carbon offsets purchased by Al Gore