Top 11 Real Reasons the Democrats Are Boycotting Fox News

11. Afraid that Jack Bauer will cut off their fingers if they don’t answer debate questions to his satisfaction

10. Fox is owned by Rupert Murdoch, and he’s one of those, you know, Australians

9. According to William Jefferson, John Murtha, and Alcee Hastings, Fox News just doesn’t know how to play ball

8. Retaliation for Laurie Dhue’s policy of not dating Kennedys

7. Convinced that Bill O’Reilly is behind all of the obscene crank calls to Nancy Pelosi

6. Fox producers were insisting that one of the candidates be voted out of the race after each debate

5. Want to help out the lower rated news channels

4. Pandering to PETA by boycotting networks with animal nicknames

3. Sean Hannity doesn’t let Allan Colmes talk enough

2. Refuse to recognize the legitimacy of any media outlet that is not financed by George Soros

1. They are protesting the premature cancellation of “The O.C.”