Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Keeping Up With The Wellstones

Believe it or not, it must be difficult to be a politically correct lefty in the Twin Cities these days. Not because spirited conservatives are taking the battle to you, but because you really have to get creative to outdo your own brethren.

Right now, everyone stands in awe of the city of Minneapolis. The Star Tribune might shill the liberal party line day in day out, but there's nothing new or creative in that. The city of St. Paul can raise property taxes to pay for more government waste, but Minneapolis has been doing that for years. The DFL controlled state legislature might pass ridiculous, impractical laws that impose on the rights of businesses, but again, that's nothing the liberals in Minneapolis haven't been doing for decades. The city of Minneapolis continues its old anti-business agenda and increasing crime rate, but additionally has one-upped everyone on the political correctness scale by hiring and refusing to fire an inept and possibly criminal fire chief who happens to be (read was given the job solely because she is) a lesbian.

No one is more jealous of Minneapolis' PC posturing than the Marxists at the University of Minnesota. Their political correctness just doesn't measure up. The women's studies department hasn't been news in decades. The university has been relegated to attracting PC kudos by giving Al Gore an honarary degree. As if honoring another dead white male could score real PC points with those who keep track of that sort of thing.

I however, have an idea so radical that it would put the U of M on the front page of every newspaper in the country.

It is an unfortunate fact that the athletic departments of major universities garner more headlines than any of the academic departments. Late in 2006, the University of Minnesota was forced to fire the coaches of its two money programs (men's basketball and football) due to gross incompetence.

After the firings occurred, sports experts suggested that the university could end accusations of aspiring to atheletic mediocrity by hiring a "big name" coach in one of the two sports. Examples of "big name"coaches included Tony Dungy in football and Flip Saunders or Rick Majerus in basketball.

People who understood the aspirations of mediocrity of the U of M suggested that there would be no "big name" coach hired in either sport and instead suggested that the U would hire such non-big names as one or both of the "big time" coaches from non-rival North Dakota State.

The U of M responded by hiring a nobody named Tim Brewster for the football coach position. Brewster is certain to field a team no better than that of his predicessor Glenn Mason.

However, the U can still make history. They could hire basketball coaching legend Pat Summitt. Summitt would be the first ever woman to coach NCAA men's basketball. However, she would be more than an atheletic Bonnie Bleskachek. Summitt's overall record stands at 913-177, with 6 NCAA women's titles. Compare that to Mike Kryzewski or Bob Knight, with respective records of 771 wins and 3 NCAA Titles and 887 wins and 3 NCAA Titles.

Unlike Bonnie Bleskachek, Pat Summitt is a qualified coach. Her record is second to none. The NCAA is currently wringing its hands that it doesn't have enough minority football coaches. Yet they have more than one for decades. There has never been a woman coach of an NCAA men's basketball team. This is an obvious display of sexism. Many men have coached NCAA women's teams.

The University of Minnesota can once and for all claim PC supremacy by naming Pat Summitt its men's basketball coach. To do anything else would reinforce the existing patriarchy and make Wellstone followers everywhere cry.


Anonymous john f not kerry said...

I don't think Summitt's a lesbian, but I bet she could kick Bonnie's behind out of the building.

7:32 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Ha ha, you guys STILL have that fire chief?

3:45 PM  
Blogger Nihilist in Golf Pants said...

She's been demoted to Captain with no management responsibilities. They won't let her go. I'm sure they would treat a man exactly the same way under similar circumstances.

3:58 PM  
Anonymous john f not kerry said...

"I'm sure they would treat a man exactly the same way under similar circumstances."

Maybe, if he were gay.

5:52 PM  

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