You Just Got Your Asses Whipped By A Bunch Of Goddamn Nerds!

Bill Gates stunned a crown at a California technology conference by releasing a swarm of mosquitoes and shouting, "there is no reason only poor people should be infected (by malaria)!"

Here are the top 11 surprises in store for the next groups to see Bill Gates speak:

11. He'll release rats in the room and declare: “There’s no reason that only 14th century Europeans should get the plague!”

10. Thumbtacks on their chairs

9. Hosts "Guess what I had for lunch?" breath smelling contest

8. When the seminar is over, he will release the hounds

7. Q&A session begins with a game of Rochambeau

6. Audio visual presentation includes a section on the Rose O'Donnell sex tape

5. Wet Willies when they go through the receiving line

4. At lunch he will sneeze over the buffet table

3. The latest version of Microsoft Vista

2. He'll signal its time to change his PowerPoint slide by firing shot gun blasts into the crowd

1. Gift bags featuring smallpox blankets